mashi

why are people outside at the same time as me it’s my turn

this book I’m reading on female evolution for some reason uses bill and hillary clinton as examples of the typical differences between male and female vocal structures and the author is like “imagine if bill clinton had a throat sac like an ape which caused his voice to resonate” don’t say that? I don’t want to imagine that?

billiam clinton saying his famous line “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” in a booming voice that can be heard up to two miles away and everyone starts hooting like monkeys and banging their fists on their chests

did you know that apparently if you try to act normal the normalness doesn't come through but the acting does. and did you know apparently everyone can smell this on you like a bloodhound

personally I am of the opinion that vegans who are like “the way our food system currently works under capitalism on a large scale is exceptionally cruel to all animals including humans and is not sustainable, so I’m doing what I can to make the most ethical choices available to me about what I eat and encourage others to do the same” are generally very reasonable people who I agree with in spades. but vegans who seem to think human beings are not themselves animals who are ultimately also part of the food chain but instead some kind of other paternalistic higher entity that can never engage in ethical and sustainable hunting practices (and especially the fringe I’ve seen who think other carnivorous animal predators are also evil and need to be eliminated) are people I regard as foolish at best if not actively anti-indigenous and racist

hey can y’all maybe ask yourselves why when people of color say things like “this movement I generally agree with has a racism problem” your gut instinct is to downplay and dismiss and say it’s only a few bad apples and that we’re co-opting the larger conversation by talking about it? can y’all examine this instinct in yourselves for a second?

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

you have to post bull shit online. to fulfill your amazing digital purpose

I think it's crazy that there is no corner of the internet that isn't infected with ads and bots or trying to steal your data in some way

and that is like the oldest trick in the book it doesn't even work, even my grandpa knows that vicky with the bikini isn't real

I know everyone is saying ao3 but unfortunately ao3 has a bot issue too

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that's one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.