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a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

did you seriously just allocate skill points mid conversation...? thats so rude...

okay well you've been save scumming this whole date so like....

*loads back to before you noticed*

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

daddy hit the big leagues

Aging userbase

everyone is meeting me in the grotto

masculine energy this feminine energy that. well i’m out of energy

need me some of this "renewable energy" I keep hearing about