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This is it, this is the one

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rocky new to ball
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
Turns out you can roll a 7 on a d6
but only once.
Some Yu-Gi-Oh! bullshit right there
PROJECT HAIL MARY dir. Phil Lord & Chris Miller, 2026

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just watched jurassic park and from a meta perspective im thinking sadly about how the behavior the carnivores display is way more indicative (at least to me) of wanting to play and lacking stimulation in their lives than actually wanting to eat the human characters. and they got so so demonized for it
JP dinosaur behavior analysis with a healthy dose of headcanon included from someone who doesnt know much about behavioral science. for funsies
ok so first of all lets start with the t rex. her very first moment is the goat leg ending up on the car, but we can see in the next shot that she is very capable of swallowing the goat whole. so how did that leg get there? given evidence that t. rexes were likely social creatures, i like to imagine that the leg on the car was more “here you go have part of my meal because you’re small” for the humans
next is her communication. i want to look at one specific thing, which was actually the thing that prompted the post
to me, that certainly looks like eye pinning. eye pinning is a behavior in birds that signals high stimulation. here’s what it looks like in a bird
it can be positive or negative, but in this case it’s probably not negative, because there’s nothing forcing the rex to stay there. if she wanted to leave the situation she could hit the bricks
the continual roaring also sort of suggests play behavior to me. there’s not really any sense in making a shitload of noise at your prey (unless you’re trying to scare them out of cover, but we know she doesn’t need to do that because we see she’s strong enough to just break into the car) so, especially because they keep screaming, that reads way more like “im making noises and they’re making noises back ^w^” then it does as trying to intimidate prey for some reason
play behavior also makes sense because we know, canonically, she’s crazy understimulated. alan grant says as much when he mentions that they aren’t feeding her in a way that promotes hunting behavior. the way she noses at the jeep and spins it really just looks more like curious interaction than anything, as well as all the chasing people she does
next, the raptors. their really famous scene is the kitchen, but first let’s establish some facts about them. we know from muldoon and what we’re shown that:
- they’re smart enough to use one of their own as a distraction for flanking maneuvers
- they’re good at problem solving enough to wait until the electric fences are turned off to systematically test them for vulnerabilities
- they’re absurdly fast. “60 mph on open ground” fast
- they are absolutely not in a big enough enclosure
- they’re not fed in a way that promotes hunting behavior either
so when you put all this information together and then look at the kitchen scene, i don’t believe for even one second that the “hide behind the counter” routine is fooling those two raptors for any time at all. that entire sequence of loudly scrambling around the kitchen while something that can keep pace with a cheetah pretends it can’t catch you? yeah that makes WAY more sense as play behavior than it does hunting, especially since we see numerous times that there are many things on the island easier to catch and eat than a bunch of skinny humans (this goes for the rex, too!)
the bit with the noises is also true here. more true, if anything. muldoon tells us the raptors are ambush predators, so why on earth would they get into a hunting ground and then risk scaring their prey off with the loud barking calls? “hi we’re here come out and play” is a much more sensible use of a call loud enough to hurt a human’s ears from across a room in that situation
in conclusion: damnit john your girls are bored as fuck. give them a horse ball or a frozen pumpkin stuffed with meat or something
always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
The funniest part of A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker is a 19 year old who has not locked in yet and plays with toys and sleeps in his childhood bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house and Leia Organa is a 19 year old with a mission to save the galaxy from fascism. Luke has never left his hometown, Leia just watched her planet be blown up. He’s peeved his uncle is asking him to do his chores, she’s imprisoned for resisting the government. You relate to them both but they’re on complete opposite sides of the 19 year old life stage spectrum.
Also Luke is clearly very lonely after his crush and best friend, Biggs, went away to college
Yes! Some people have misinterpreted this as me insinuating Luke is a wimp but he’s just in a very transitional life phase that is focused on growing and maturing. His friends are growing up and moving on, he’s anxious to join them but isn’t quite ready. He has ambition and goals but he just isn’t in a place where he is able to pursue those goals, he is immature and that isn’t a bad thing. 19 year olds SHOULD be able to ponder their place in the world and which direction they want their life to take. Leia has been in the public eye her entire life, she is a princess, she has been primed for greatness and she has been shouldered with so much responsibility. Luke is just his aunt and uncle’s nephew, they love him and don’t want him to leave, he’s trying to decide what to do.
He’s like a Midwest farm boy who is dreaming of the big city and she is like an old money New England heiress who has been told since birth she will follow her father’s career path into politics and has been sent to the most competitive schools and enrolled in the most rigorous extracurriculars.
Luke is the protagonist at the start of a coming-of-age plotline while Leia is in the 3rd season finale of her failed revolution plan when A New Hope takes place and you can fight me on this.
and Han Solo owes a slug drug money
Twister (1996)
lie to me

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unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!
(warning: loud chirping throughout)
source: hellgate osprey cam
just watched jurassic park and from a meta perspective im thinking sadly about how the behavior the carnivores display is way more indicative (at least to me) of wanting to play and lacking stimulation in their lives than actually wanting to eat the human characters. and they got so so demonized for it
JP dinosaur behavior analysis with a healthy dose of headcanon included from someone who doesnt know much about behavioral science. for funsies
ok so first of all lets start with the t rex. her very first moment is the goat leg ending up on the car, but we can see in the next shot that she is very capable of swallowing the goat whole. so how did that leg get there? given evidence that t. rexes were likely social creatures, i like to imagine that the leg on the car was more “here you go have part of my meal because you’re small” for the humans
next is her communication. i want to look at one specific thing, which was actually the thing that prompted the post
to me, that certainly looks like eye pinning. eye pinning is a behavior in birds that signals high stimulation. here’s what it looks like in a bird
it can be positive or negative, but in this case it’s probably not negative, because there’s nothing forcing the rex to stay there. if she wanted to leave the situation she could hit the bricks
the continual roaring also sort of suggests play behavior to me. there’s not really any sense in making a shitload of noise at your prey (unless you’re trying to scare them out of cover, but we know she doesn’t need to do that because we see she’s strong enough to just break into the car) so, especially because they keep screaming, that reads way more like “im making noises and they’re making noises back ^w^” then it does as trying to intimidate prey for some reason
play behavior also makes sense because we know, canonically, she’s crazy understimulated. alan grant says as much when he mentions that they aren’t feeding her in a way that promotes hunting behavior. the way she noses at the jeep and spins it really just looks more like curious interaction than anything, as well as all the chasing people she does
next, the raptors. their really famous scene is the kitchen, but first let’s establish some facts about them. we know from muldoon and what we’re shown that:
- they’re smart enough to use one of their own as a distraction for flanking maneuvers
- they’re good at problem solving enough to wait until the electric fences are turned off to systematically test them for vulnerabilities
- they’re absurdly fast. “60 mph on open ground” fast
- they are absolutely not in a big enough enclosure
- they’re not fed in a way that promotes hunting behavior either
so when you put all this information together and then look at the kitchen scene, i don’t believe for even one second that the “hide behind the counter” routine is fooling those two raptors for any time at all. that entire sequence of loudly scrambling around the kitchen while something that can keep pace with a cheetah pretends it can’t catch you? yeah that makes WAY more sense as play behavior than it does hunting, especially since we see numerous times that there are many things on the island easier to catch and eat than a bunch of skinny humans (this goes for the rex, too!)
the bit with the noises is also true here. more true, if anything. muldoon tells us the raptors are ambush predators, so why on earth would they get into a hunting ground and then risk scaring their prey off with the loud barking calls? “hi we’re here come out and play” is a much more sensible use of a call loud enough to hurt a human’s ears from across a room in that situation
in conclusion: damnit john your girls are bored as fuck. give them a horse ball or a frozen pumpkin stuffed with meat or something
Example #3542 of "Hammond needs to be whacked upside the head with a zookeeper's instruction manual."
OUR TIME HAS COME, PALEOBLR!

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This is the best one
(in case anyone needs context, since i know there's a bunch of younguns who didn't even know the "It's gonna be May" meme... The song playing is NSync's song "It's Gonna Be Me", the guy in the mint green t-shirt is NSync member Lance Bass, and the guy in the pink hoodie is his husband Michael.)
I need to you all to know that the original caption for this is : “POV your friend mispronounces a word once and now it’s a national holiday.”
nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.
context explaining why the announcer is screaming, this is supposed to take a high level competitive agility dog 40 seconds