HEY MARIO! LOOK WHAT I MADE... IT'S A FOOTBALL!

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

You stole damn daniel blood

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

Were you hurt by my cruelty ?

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

new bit, it’s called “the wrong twin died.” any time you’re talking about an alive person who you dont like, say something like “yeah he sucks. the wrong twin died.” make up a fake story about how the person used to have a twin but the twin died tragically and they were probably nicer than the one who survived.

Livin la penis smoka