Insanity over Genius

the mystery of them

Let yourself make mistakes. Be messy if you feel the need to.

OMG White Pawn and Black Rook are the next star-crossed lovers… so cute

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

in retrospect, video rental stores *would* probably still exist today in some capacity had it not been for blockbuster. the nostalgia for the blockbuster browsing experience undermines the reality of how aggressively the chain snuffed out smaller video rental stores and would eventually become notorious for its abusive late fee collection policy once there were no significant competitors standing. the rise of streaming is often attributed to blockbusters demise, but what’s not often recognized is how netflix’ earliest (and most successful) marketing tactics were in fact advertising the absence of the aforementioned terrible late fees as opposed to the convenience of not having to go to the store. I was actually surprised to find out how much of blockbuster’s demise can be attributed to spiraling out of control as it attempted to manage viacom’s ever increasing debts than to the fact that people just naturally gravitated towards streaming (which is not to say that it wouldn’t have happened eventually, but).

see also: borders / barnes & noble with bookstores. amazon’s original pitch was probably more “look how convenient!” than it was “look, you can avoid the awful sterility of the inside of a barnes & noble!” but it’s interesting that with its aggressive tracking and tailoring of recommendations amazon is having machines do (in an impersonal and invasive way) what the staff at a local, non-chain bookstore would do, which is match their selection to your preferences

Ohhh that last line.

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

‘Vagina-owners’

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

Reblogging because I didn’t know this and it needs to be shared.

Concept: immortal vampire scion of a dying royal line going to increasingly desperate lengths to get their various relations married off in a way that keeps themselves as far from the line of succession as possible, because the peculiar interaction between holy symbols and the vampiric condition means that if they ever actually inherit the divine right of kings, they’ll immediately explode.

So just… A really old guy forcing all of his grandkids to marry each other?

Precisely the opposite. Keeping it all in the family (so to speak) is a strategy for minimising competing claims to the succession; our hypothetical vampire wants there to be as many competing claims as possible, so that if one cadet branch dies out or gets delegitimised, there will be others to take up the slack.

If they’re the scion, they’ll have to go to some lengths to avoid it… depending on where they fall in the lineage. But, if it’s the English monarchy, they can just profess Roman Catholicism. Immediate disqualification.

I was about to propose some complicated metaphysical reason why that option isn’t on the table; upon consideration, however, it’s much funnier if there’s no reason it wouldn’t work, but the vampire would literally rather die than become Catholic.

Im gonna hold an egg in my mouth for 2 hours to challenge myself.

OGAHAGSIGf

buddy that is beyond monkey brain, you went all the way back to reptile brain. These are real Dimetrodon hours.

Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity

Thin people can reblog this btw

they wont tho lmao

I have been an unhealthily thin person for most my life. If I gained weight, my parents would make fun of me, and my sister (5′9 100lbs soaking wet) was constantly made fun of because she had a ‘bubble butt’ which is to say shes got wide hips/butt after 2 kids and a long torso and legs. I (5′6) had so much trouble getting up to 130lbs (the healthy weight for my body type and disability). My ex got paranoid I was pregnant because I gained a little weight, and so I shed it off fast out of shame.  I am now in a healthy relationship and finally at a healthy weight where I dont look like an emancipated skeleton, and happy. And even now, Im ashamed of the weight Ive gained as if I can still hear them commenting on it constantly... Weight shame is real. And while I have never been considered fat, I will never know that specific shame. But I know the shame of not wanting to be caught eating, or being seen by anyone because of the things they say. At least now Im not profiled by police as being on crack for how starved I was before.

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

Okay I reblogged and got into the entrepreneurship program I wanted. This WORKS

I reblogged this recently and boy have things fallen into place. And not just in one spot. In 2 at the same time. It’s almost uncannily perfect.