My silly little ramblings.

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

From observation, another one would seem to be ‘if you have to get off your horse to do it, let someone else take care of it’

love when ppl ask to see pics of my axolotl and are expecting something cute + pink + all smiles and instead with genuine fear in their eyes, and in their heart, say WHAT the fuck is that.

once i write this book that lives in my head that has no ending or solid plot it’s over for all of you

"um, no, I don't think we live in some sort of fanservice AU where each house has a device you must strip down to use" I say as I confidently step into the shower fully clothed.

i assumed this was porn

wHERE TH FUCK IM I

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

i’m only interested in going back to sleep

I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.

Or even like... Cannon warfare.

Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.