Yury Gagarin

These scientists are frantically leaving haunting voice recordings and health packs around their lab as we speak. Look, that one's writing a message in blood on the wall.

That illustration looks like, "Whatcha gonna do about THAT, HUH?"

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

"taylor swift is elon musk for girls" well all right maybe we should scale it back because elon musk has killed nearly a million people globally in his time at DOGE

Blondie only touches minors before her dad shoves them in the family woodchipper

Beyond Belief with Jonathan Frakes except it's tumblr posts