:)

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

Fourth time now I've tried to propose to my wife and has gone horribly wrong first I put the engagement ring in the wine glass she drank that next time I tried putting it in the cake she ate that at the last point I decided to give it to the waiter to give to her she still ate him too like I've lost so much money but God what a woman

sorry, your boyfriend’s whitecough turned into greencough. the medicine cat’s been looking at him for days and he’s not getting better. he’s in starclan’s paws now, sorry about that.

i plan on becoming a child prodigy at 44

Evolution of Nissan

My cat does this before throwing up

It's because you're always on that damn pilgrimage

I try very hard to be normal at work but they know..

genuinely insane how difficult it is to participate in your own life

so much of being an ok person is just 1) not panicking, 2) not taking things personally, and 3) not letting the vindictive gargoyle that lives in your head tell you what to do. this sucks because brains love doing those things

this email could’ve been a fight to the death

genuinely took me a few seconds to realize it's a drawing, wow-

ART ART ART NOT A PHOTO GO BACK AND LOOK