I COME COMPLETE AND INVINCIBLE

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

birds are so privileged for being able to sit on top of street lamps and judge people. i wish i was up there

straight up i haven’t been looking for a new job i’ve just been blowing each and every unemployment check on balloons to tie to people’s chihuahuas to make them float away never to be seen again

costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain

The margarita wants you to heal

writing isn’t hard. i just have to extract 80,000 words from my brain using sheer psychic force

do i want to come to "the circus"? (apprehensive) describe it with two adjectives first

i am a dog locked in a car in the summer. the a/c is not on. i do not have water. no music is playing

being neurodivergent and having a contentious relationship with your own discomfort will have you in your thirties having basic ass baby revelations like "oh, I feel bad when I'm going to do a thing that causes me pain. and I feel more calm when I'm not in pain or about to experience pain."

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

everytime I’m reminded that men will straight up complain about how pussy smells and there’s a whole industry around women buying products trying to cure it like some kind of disease it Goes in the evidence pile towards heterosexuality being some kind of obligation based death cult wherein each side despises one another truly and deeply . What I wanted to post is I would huff pussy smell out of a paper bag in a back alley like it’s paint fumes but the thought went elsewhere

She took my fucking mind palace, I'm thinking out of my mind car now.

Fired from the Walmart for having a “usurper’s disposition”