1x04. "I think I will find someone else."
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1x04. "I think I will find someone else."

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So one afternoon at the cottage, Ilya has been in and out of the lake all day, excited like a kid, splashing around and clowning and fascinated by the wildlife and showing off for Shane. And after they finally head back inside and shower off the lake smell, Shane settles on the couch with a book and Ilya flops down with him, stretched out with his head in Shane's lap and whining until Shane frees a hand to sink into his hair. And it's been such a nice full day and it's all warm dozy sunshine and the lovely earthy nature smell that's everywhere around the cottage and Ilya has his face tucked into Shane's stomach where he can breathe him in, the familiar scent of his detergent and body wash, and Shane's big warm hand is in his hair and Ilya's pleasantly tired and drowsy and so comfortable that he just... drifts off, the kind of wonderfully indulgent nap that he never really gets during the season and finds hard to justify when he's in Russia for the summer.
But this year he's not in Russia, and he slips into this warm syrupy slumber while Shane pets through his hair (incidentally making a disastrous mess of his curls) and reads his book. When Ilya eventually rouses, with a happy grumble of contentment, nuzzling closer into Shane's stomach, he can feels Shane laughing gently at him almost before he hears it.
"Did you sleep well?" Shane asks, and that sounds warm and syrupy too, and Ilya rolls over so he can smile at Shane and revel in the smile he gets in return.
And then Shane says, "Are you hungry? It's almost dinnertime," and Ilya realises he's been lying here, napping and pinning Shane to the couch and wasting both of their time, for hours, and he jackknifes upright so suddenly that Shane startles back.
"Fuck!" Ilya spits out. "I was--fuck, has been so long. Why didn't you wake me up?" already guilty because Shane had wanted to make some pasta thing that he was weirdly excited about and they'd talked about maybe playing more Chel but now the whole day's been napped away and--Ilya sneaks a look---Shane's book is lying closed on the couch, bookmark set neatly aside, so Shane had finished his book and not even been able to get up to go do something else.
And he's just smiling at Ilya, completely unconcerned that Ilya's been idle and asleep and... and... lazy, all afternoon, just glad Ilya had a good nap.
Shane's frowning in mild confusion at him. "Why?" he says, genuinely not seeing the problem. "You were napping, it was nice. I mean, if I'd needed to pee or something I'd have got up but I was fine." He reaches out and smoothes some of Ilya's hair down. "Oh, the pasta. We can do that tomorrow, we have all that salad from lunch and rolls and there's peaches if we want dessert."
Ilya must have responded somehow because Shane beams at him and says, "Cool, I'll go set the table if you want to go wash your face." He smirks and pokes at Ilya's cheek. "Got a little drool there." And then he smacks a kiss on Ilya's head, gets up, and trots over to the kitchen while Ilya just sits there reeling.
Anyway it's really important to me that Shane dismantles all of Ilya's awful self-talk about laziness.
1x04. You like tuna melt?
i tried making a contrapuntal poem for hollanov, which can be read 3 ways: shane’s side alone, ilya’s side alone, or both sides together. inspired by the long game.
diva (🤨🚬)

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we kiss with our eyes closed
˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇ . ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇ ˚.✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇ . ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇ ˚.✦.˳·˖✶
bradley "rooster" bradshaw/jake "hangman" seresin || 2.7k || T
Usually, Bradley was better at shoving these feelings down. That didn't mean that they wouldn't ever creep up on him from time to time. A flash of warm skin beneath his hands here, soft murmurs over a table set for two there, a broken hand and a twisted knife and all the nasty truths that he, regrettably, would accept if it meant that he had the sweeter parts back. Jake's in rare form tonight, chattering over a game of darts, winning without trying but reeling in the signature smarmy attitude. Coyote stands at his side and laughs at something he’s said. Jealousy simmers in Bradley's gut and spreads through his chest; nobody but him should know that Jake is funny, even when he’s not making his jokes at someone else's expense. Those softer sides should be all his own to know and hoard.
read on ao3 here
don't get me wrong i love the fact that shane and ilya retcon their relationship to be love at first sight. like good for them!! but when i look at the source material im like .. you were charmed. you were jealous. he had everything you wanted (supportive family and his country behind him, able to be big and brash and move through life with ease) and you wanted to see if you could make him feel good (can you debauch the golden boy, can you be good for the man who's had everyone) but the love didn't come until you started to take apart the things that attracted you to this person in the first place. shane fell in love with the ilya who checked in on him and with the sweetness behind the barbs and with the ilya who couldn't stop kissing him in that stairwell. and ilya fell in love with the shane who thinks buffalo is stupid and can barely get his shoes off before he throws himself at ilya and can't tell his parents he's gay because he's suffocating behind his own image not because he thinks they don't love him but because he wants to honor everything they've done for him. and so it's really nice that ilya goes "i loved you from the first time i saw you" but i, omniscient reader, call bullshit. i think you love that boy now because no version of you could ever not love any version of him. but at the time i think you were mostly just curious and then the love grew despite all odds in the most hostile of circumstances because everything you learned about each other made you want more and more and more. and also probably that's even MORE beautiful. so.
You know it’s load bearing to me that Shane’s breathlessly cruel comment to Ilya on the Boxing Day fight is just…Shane being Shane. Sometimes he’s like that. Sometimes people are like that.
I saw someone say that they need to make it clear that Shane’s getting bullied on the Mets and that’s why he lashes out at Ilya but like. What if he isn’t. What if he lashes out at Ilya because Ilya’s asking him for something off script, and getting pissy with him, and Shane doesn’t know why, and he just wanted to have a nice day, and the last time he went over to Ilya’s the whole place smelled like weed, and they haven’t talked about hockey in months, and Shane knows from experience how to hit people where they hurt. And maybe he gets a little thrill doing that.
Maybe he’s being a shitty person in that moment. Maybe it’s not justifiable. Maybe sometimes people are shitty and there’s no Reason that makes it okay that they did that
And also, this is them at their lowest point in the narrative. They've been repressing and shoving aside every emotion that's not compatible with the fairy tale and all the pressure that's built up on account of that, on both sides, comes out here. They're both practicing avoidance in different ways and are expecting the other person to align with their own brand of it while also expecting to be understood completely when they are communicating less than they ever have. And kind of the point of this part of the story is that neither of them is behaving well, I thought? I mean, if they had been, they'd never have got to this point. This nadir is what reminds them to give each other grace! It's load bearing! I would even argue that it's crucial to the narrative in a way that even the plane crash isn't, simply because of what it throws up.
so I think sometimes, at the end of the day when they're both in bed and shane is sleepy and ilya isn't so much because he's more of a night owl than shane, ilya will bring shane close and kiss along his neck and move his hands over his body until shane is warmed up and hard against ilya's hip. then ilya will slick his fingers up so he can finger shane, nice and slow the way he knows will have shane arching and trembling in his arms. ilya will be kissing him but not as much as usual, moreso pulled back so he can gaze at shane's face as he works him up.
and when shane inevitably starts pushing his hips into ilya's hand, whispering "fuck me, please. please please fuck me. ilya" ilya will shake his head and hold shane tighter and say "I want to watch you" and shane will shiver all over and close his eyes, overwhelmed. he'll let ilya have it. let him just see. the flush that draws to the surface of his skin. the furrow of his brow that makes it look like there's nothing more serious in the world than his pleasure—which ilya believes, wholeheartedly. the wet, warm cave of his mouth as he pants and moans. occasionally, when ilya can bring himself to look down and away from shane's face: the appearance and disappearance of ilya's shiny fingers from and into shane's body, between his strong parted thighs, below his swollen beating cock.
but always always ilya will look up when shane is coming. shane's face in the moments he knows nothing but pleasure is the most beautiful sight in the world to ilya.
and when shane starts coming back down ilya will draw him as close as he can possibly get and hug him and kiss his face and say "thank you, moy lyubimyy, that was beautiful, you were so good" and shane will smile, warm, with his eyes closed, and snuggle into ilya's chest. when he reaches a hand down to touch ilya's cock ilya will grab his wrist and shake his head, "no, malysh, it's okay. I'm okay" because that isn't what this is about for ilya, and shane can return the favour tomorrow if he wants, but right now ilya is shushing him to sleep and ilya feels so full and happy from getting to have shane like this he could lift a mountain
Hollanov Writing Camp – Week One!
We're so excited to announce that the first Hollanov Writers Camp will run from August 1st–7th!
Week One Concept: Canon Divergence
Day One – What if Shane hadn’t introduced himself to Ilya in Saskatchewan?
Day Two – What if Rose didn't break up Shane?
Day Three – What if Ilya really wanted to go through with his plan to marry Svetlana?
Day Four – What if only one of them got outed first?
Day Five – What if Shane came out publicly after breaking up with Rose?
Day Six – What if the proposal went wrong?
Day Seven – What if Shane didn't know if Ilya was okay after the almost plane crash?
We can't wait to write with all of you. đź«¶ FAQ | AO3 collection

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shane's first time anal "that was so fucking hot" a little dopey and fucked out and completely sincere... do you think that's what did it. ilya's nearly desperate "please. go" in sochi. hollander leaning to chase ilya's thumb in his mouth, eyelids sliding shut in pleasure, the way his whole body went loose. it's just sex, hollander. you can't-- you don't even know what you're doing. big wet eyes, heart wide open. it's going to hurt. it's going to hurt you. i'm going to--
Hi! We're mareastralis and AkirasStories and we've been writing fanfiction for quite a while now. We're huge fans of Heated Rivalry (both the books and the TV adaptation) and, of course, we love writing Hollanov ourselves.
As the fandom has grown so quickly over the past months, we've noticed that it can sometimes feel surprisingly lonely to be a writer. There are so many talented people creating amazing stories, but not always many opportunities to connect with one another.
We've also noticed that, as the fandom keeps growing, fanfiction can sometimes start to feel more about consumption than community. It's easy to scroll, read, move on, or forget that there's a real person behind every story who spent hours, days, or even months creating it. At the same time, online spaces can sometimes become unnecessarily harsh, and that's the opposite of the environment we want to foster.
We want this event to be rooted in kindness. We want people to leave comments because they genuinely enjoyed something, encourage writers who are just starting out, celebrate each other's successes and remember that fandom thrives because people choose to create and support one another. We believe that a little kindness goes a long way, and we hope this camp can be a small reminder of that.
Strating in August, we'll post one main concept and seven daily prompts. You can write for one day, several days, or all seven—whatever fits your schedule and inspires you. Whether you write 500 words or 50,000, you're welcome here. If people enjoy the event, we'd absolutely love to keep it going and turn it into something we can all look forward to regularly.
More than anything, though, we hope this becomes a place for community.
We want writers to cheer each other on, leave comments, celebrate every finished fic, brainstorm together, ask for advice, share headcanons and simply have fun creating again.
With AI-generated writing becoming more common, we also wanted to create a space that celebrates human creativity. We're proudly anti-AI when it comes to fanfiction. We believe writing is about imagination, growth, collaboration and finding your own voice—not replacing it. Everyone starts somewhere, and we hope this can be a place where writers of every experience level can learn from one another, improve together, and feel supported.
We'd also love to help people connect! If you're looking for a beta reader, would like to beta for someone else, or just want a writing buddy to bounce ideas off, let us know! Send us an ask or leave a comment and we'll do our best to help match people up.
This event isn't about writing the "best" fic. It's about building friendships, encouraging each other, and remembering why we fell in love with writing in the first place.
We're so excited to see what everyone creates.
Happy writing! 🫶🏒🔥
super excited for this!! stay tuned for more information soon 🤫🏆
I'm sure this point has been made already but Adam from The Shots You Take really feels like a there-but-for-the-grace-of-god Shane Hollander. It's Shane if Rose had been less perceptive and compassionate, Shane who would have sacrificed his happiness at the altar of heteronormativity, gained the adulation of the world and ruthlessly strangled every last vestige of his true self. Seeing Shane in Adam really lent another dimension to my read of TSYT and made the whole thing even more tragic with the what-if of Adam and Riley's story literally being Shane and Ilya.
Riley is also a good, albeit not perfect, reflection of Ilya despite the obvious commonality of their mental health struggles. I think Ilya would have self-destructed in very different ways, and the huge difference of just the sheer size and depth of Riley's support system changes his trajectory pretty comprehensively, I think. The other big difference, no offence to Riley, is Ilya's sheer brilliance at hockey--it would have been a much bigger loss, I think, for Ilya to have walked away, and it would have hurt Shane much, much more. Which makes the what-if angle all the more poignant, to me!
There's even some shades of commonality in their sexual dynamic and the whole thing really did make me wonder if this was RR intentionally exploring this divergent path of Shane and Ilya's relationship, and if so it was intriguingly done.
To be clear I think it’s fine to criticize RR’s books or writing or not like TLG or whatever. Who cares. I criticize shit all the time
What I’m pushing back against is how intensely personal and parasocial this fandom is towards Rachel Reid. Instead of “I don’t like how the issues of eating disorders are portrayed in TLG” it’s “RACHEL REID HATES SHANE AND HATES PEOPLE WITH EATING DISORDERS”
Like guys. Calm down. Let’s just like. All chill about the hockey porn I guess

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Shane riding Ilya and Ilya getting lost in the rhythm until he subconsciously notices the pattern.
10-pause-10-pause-10-long pause, lean down to kiss-10-pause-10-pause-10.
“Are you…” Ilya said incredulously. “Are doing reps right now?!”
Shane notices that Ilya always has to be doing something. At first, he thinks its sweet, attentive.
"Is your blanket warm enough? I'll go get another one."
"I will carry plates, go sit."
"Practice is optional for players, Shane, not captain."
And, look, Shane isn't one to lay about. He's up for morning runs, he attends almost every optional practice, he's meticulous about his work out routines. He's a top athlete and so is Ilya, they both work incredibly hard to stay at the top. Still, Shane doesn't have a problem with a lazy afternoon reading in bed, or a free weekend spent at his cottage, or a summer relaxing.
He notices that sometimes Ilya will startle, just a little bit, if Shane walks into the room when he's laying on the couch, scrolling through his phone. If Shane makes even the slightest request, Ilya is jumping to get it done there and then. He's the first one at practice and the last one to leave.
He will take naps with Shane, but he's always up before Shane, working out in the gym, doing their monthly calendar, adding things Shane likes to their shopping list that he wouldn't add, etc.
"Just sit with me," Shane catches Ilya's arm on his latest trip to the kitchen."
"I know, I will," Ilya covers his hand. "I just want to wipe down counters before your parents get here."
"They won't care," Shane scrunches up his face. "They won't even notice. Come sit down."
"Okay," Ilya says, but looks a little torn. "We are suppose to be hosting, not lazing around."
"Ilya," Shane sat up more. "You cleaned the whole house like twice today. I cooked. We aren't lazing around."
"Yes, I know, but..."
"Ilya, you aren't lazy," Shane said directly. He doesn't know exactly why that word seems difficult for Ilya, but he has his suspicions. "And even if you were lazy sometimes, I wouldn't care. I would like it, probably."
Ilya softened. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Shane tugs him and Ilya finally lets himself be pulled into Shane's lap. "Just come be lazy with me."
"Hm," Ilya adjusts himself to better snuggle into his boyfriend. "That does not sound so bad."