stressed™

In a nonexistent perfect world, there is an 80s version of The Muppets Wizard of Oz, where the gang finally meet the wizard. And instead of “pay no mind to the man behind the curtain”- Toto knocks over a table in front of A Wizard Of Oz Muppet Head who bellows PAY NO MIND TO THE MAN BENEATH THE CAMERA!!! And it’s revealed that the wizard was Jim the whole time. And he’s like “im so sorry but i’m just an entertainer you guys are gonna have to go kill the witch on your own. you should probably hurry because there’s only 30 minutes left in the runtime.” I just think that would be funny.

I'd like to add, though, that one of the living Muppeteers is literally named Oz. Instead of the wizard being Jim all along, it can have been Frank instead and still be a pretty good joke.

Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped she’d gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures

You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.

Baby Miette!!!

Babe wake up new Miette lore just dropped

IT’S MIETTE!!!!

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

des

pa

There is something sooo deeply American going on with Seattle Children’s Hospital that I think would brick the minds of everyone outside of the United States.

The CHILDRENS hospital has to restrict helipad landings because of noise complaints from the wealthy home owners living next to it. Only the most urgent patients can land directly at the hospital. While the other kids have to land a mile away and are taken to the hospital via ambulance. Which is an unnecessary risk to the child’s life and also makes the families pay for the helicopter AND ambulance.

i had a really fucked up dream omg

p&f related?

sorry but phineas and ferb were not in it.

buford?

no characters from phineas and ferb were there.

is it culturally appropriate to say “here comes the airplane” to your baby if you had twins

I feel sorry for the old man, but it was stealing.  There is no apparently about it. Water is not free, it’s not a right to have it, and people pay must pay for it.  If a government gives a thing to you like utilities, its still not free because they take it from somewhere else, like in taxes.  

Nestle isn’t gonna fuck you

Also water IS a human right, it’s classified as one by the UN the only country that really disagrees with this is the United States

In my experience, they tend to actually go with the way dumber option of "Okay so this means that, every time we pit the hare against the tortoise, the tortoise would win, and therefore a tortoise can also beat all the other animals a hare could ordinarily beat in a race"

i'm going to argue that chronically online and chronically on phone are two different things actually. the phone internet is different from the real internet and companies are trying desperately to make the real internet more like the phone internet... and they're sadly succeeding. hope this makes sense and if it doesn't oh well

On the one hand, i’m amused at the joke. On the other hand, I’m a librarian and this shelving is horrifying.

Well, no shelving system is without fault.

stfu

When I was at the natural history museum, the fossil section had stickers on the glass to engage children - things like "Flap your arms like a pterodactyl" or "Measure your hand against the mosasaurus." However the first of these I encountered, which I found alarming and threatening without context, was a sticker reading "Struggle like you are stuck in a tar pit"