Ye Olde Meme

With a crack her head hit the ground, the ringing in her ears becoming deafening. This is how it always began. She pushed herself up and started to run. The forest grew darker and more overgrown with every step but she pushed on, she didn’t even think about it anymore, she just ran. It was always the same, she just had to keep running until

Tap.

Finally! It had taking longer and longer to hear it over the ringing in her ears recently. She pushed on trying to focus on the sound of the tapping over the ringing and her heaving breath and pounding feet and the ringing in her ears it’s so loud she can’t think it’s so

Tap tap.

Focus on the tapping. Focus on the tapping. Wake up wake up WAKE UP.

Her eyes snapped open. Sweat matted her hair to her forehead but she didn’t care. She rolled over and there was the familiar blackbird tapping at her window. Smiling, she rolled out of bed and opened the window, tipping out the bag of birdseed she kept on her sill. She felt a she owed the bird. As impossible as it was, he felt like a sort of guardian. Ever since the dreams began, plaguing her early hours he was always there to pull her out - tapping on the window and bridging her dream to the real world. Even though she knew it was only after food, it was comforting to imagine the sleek creature as a protector.

A harsh buzz snapped her out of her early morning haze and she grabbed her phone. The blackbird darted off into the tree outside her room.

Mariam [06:42 25/11/2018]: Has Merulan woken you up from your creepy forest dream yet? Also dont be late for school today Liv we have that stupid assembly thing

Mariam had decided since the first day the bird had appeared (and Liv had chased it down the garden and nearly broken her arm climbing a tree) that they should name the bird. So Merulan it was, after the Latin name for blackbirds ‘Turdus Merula’ (somehow Turdus didn’t have the same enchanting fantasy ring.)

Tapping out a quick reply she trudged to the bathroom to start the day. As fun as it was to imagining her life as an exhilarating adventure, a half hour seminar on UCAS applications awaited.

—

Crack! Her head hit the root. This nightmare really would suck a lot less if she could start it literally any other way. At least it would be over in a few minutes. She pushed herself up and began to run. As she did so, something dripped into her eye. That was odd, that certainly hadn’t happened before. Not daring to stop running, she dabbed her head tenderly with her fingers. They came back red.

Just a dream.

Her feet slammed rhythmically against the earth. The ringing reverberated round her skull. Just a dream. Just wait for the tapping. Just a dream. Just a dream. Why was this taking so long. A sob rose in her throat but she choked it back, pushing herself to run faster. She dodged round a tree and…

Tap.

…stopped. For the first time she ignored the tapping. She ignored her hammering heart screaming at her to run. She knew that tree. She knew that stream.

Tap tap.

Why was she here again? It had been years and it looked so different now. She didn’t understand. The tears came now, flowing silently down her cheeks and mixing with the blood that had dripped down from her temple.

Tap tap tap tap.

The tapping came more urgently and she willed herself to listen to it, no matter how much she wanted answers. She couldn’t stay here. She screwed her eyes shut, focusing on the tapping until she could no longer hear the ringing in her ears.

Groaning, she sat up in bed, blinking in the light. It felt different this morning - more real. Her bones ached and her head was still pounding. On autopilot she got up and attended to the bird on her window ledge but her mind was elsewhere. The dream had changed. Why had the dream changed? She looked down at Merulan. He was ignoring the food, staring up at her with surprisingly intelligent, curious eyes.

Why was this happening? It had been funny the first time, joking with Mariam about the spooky dream and chasing a bird like she had stepped into a Lewis Carroll novel but she wasn’t sure she could handle the pressure of becoming the protagonist of her own story. She had always much preferred taking a back seat and letting decisions be made for her. Merulan continued to stare unblinking, apparently oblivious to her racing mind. She sighed.

“I know buddy, I’m totally reading to much into this. Just a dream right? It probably just means I am ‘at a crossroads in my life’ or something.”

The bird stared.

“… and that I’m going nuts talking to a bird, great.”

—

“I am really starting to hate whichever demons wrote the script to this nightmare”, Liv muttered under her breath as she wiped the blood off her forehead and began to run. The ringing in her ears was deafening, so loud she couldn’t even hear her feet thudding against the hard earth under her feet. Trees surrounded her on all directions but she ran with purpose. After yesterday’s realisation that she knew this forest, everything seemed more familiar. She screwed her eyes shut against the noise in her head. It was so loud today. (What if she couldn’t hear the tapping? What if she couldn’t escape?) She shook the thoughts from her head and realised she had once again made it to the stream by the old tree.

Still no tapping.

Slipping slightly to a stop, she scrambled to turn around as a sudden realisation hit her.

Why was she running?

She had had this dream night after night and she always ran, she couldn’t help it. It was like a primal urge took over and she knew she had to. But she could never remember why.

[7:49AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Okay so I just woke up from a dream of me running through a forest to this huge blackbird running up and down my window ledge and tapping it’s beak on my window

[7:49AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I am shook this seems like the beginning of a fantasy adventure book or something

[8:00AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: The blackbird is back!

[8:00AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Okay hold on ima try and get a pic

[8:01AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: It’s at the downstairs windows now here we go

[8:02AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: [Image Attached] Caption: it flew away from me but its still there

[8:03AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: But what is it up to??????

[8:04AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: It was tapping at my window for a solid couple minutes and then tapping downstairs until I heard it and came down to see

[8:04AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: It wants you to follow it

[8:04AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Go to a magical land with the bird

[8:04AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Maybe it’s hungry

[8:04AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Maybe that too

[8:05AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Gain it’s trust

[8:05AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Then it’ll take you to a magical world

[8:05AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: [Image Attached] Caption: my fantasy adventure novel begins with us getting this bread

[8:05AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Hopefully you won’t get bird flu

[8:05AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Bread is always important

[8:06AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: [Image Attached] Caption: muffin gets some too

[8:08AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Cute

[8:09AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Is she your witches familiar who’ll also join you in this fantasy adventure

[8:10AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Obviously, she can fight for me she’s a vicious rabbit

[8:11AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I hear tapping in next doors garden is it him????

[8:11AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Maybe he wants you to go there

[8:12AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Maybe there’s an alice in wonderland type tree in your neighbours garden

[8:12AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: [Image Attached] Caption: I climbed a tree let’s find out

[8:12AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: noice

[8:14AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I SEE HIM

[8:14AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Dammit where’d he go

[8:16AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Okay I can’t get a picture my phone camera is not good enough he was tapping on my neighbours playhouse window and now he is in a tree

[8:16AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: As am I still

[8:16AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: In my now very dirty pjs

[8:17AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Okay he flew off rip

I’m a keep watch of the bread in case he comes back I feel and affinity with this bird

[8:20AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Ngl sitting in a tree in the freezing cold and chasing this crazy blackbird has been oddly cathartic I have had a good time.

[8:20AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: That is good

[8:20AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Quick question how do i get down

[8:20AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Jump and break your arm

[8:20AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: But like actually retrace how you got up

[8:21AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Which branches did you use

[8:21AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: There are no lower branches I jumped onto my playhouse roof

[8:21AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: That’s where I am at now

[8:21AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: But its more intimidating this way round

[8:21AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: jump

[8:22AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: It’s sad but I don’t want to leave until I have seen it one more time

[8:22AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: wait until you see it one more time then

[8:24AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: HE CAME BACK

[8:24AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Yayy

[8:24AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I played blackbird female noises and he started tapping on the playhouse windows again

[8:24AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Aww cute

[8:27AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I can’t feel my fingers I am going back in

[8:27AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: You’re weak and would never survive the fantasy realm

[8:28AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: MARIAM

[8:28AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I have chemistry homework if the elf people are going to do that then I will stay but they are not so

[8:29AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: You don’t know that

[8:30AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Elf people could be smart

[8:30AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I’m gonna name the blackbird

[8:30AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: He needs a fancy fantasy name

[8:30AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: What are you naming him

[8:32AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: It doesn’t help that their Latin name is turdus merula

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I mean turdus

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Really

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: Although merulan would be a cool name

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Merula is pretty

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: It would

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: It’s a boy

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Mariam: Merulan the bird

[8:33AM, 25/11/2018] Liv: I like it