[Hyphenating-Brackets]

Yes! Just make something to look forward to

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

Yea, you tell em’ Mr Weed

Reblogged on the wrong blog but whatever

I have an idea. it’s a little revolutionary and the world might not be ready for it but hear me out. a man & a woman meet. the man acts rude and arrogant and the woman dislikes him for it. and then the woman continues to dislike him throughout the entirety of the work of fiction in question and never falls in love with him and they never get married, not even a little bit. thank you for your time

later on after many events and tribulations they meet again. and the man has changed! he has learned lessons in humility & how not to be a terrible person! he presents his growth to the woman and she says “wow, good for you, I’m glad you improved as a person. good job! hope I can do as well!” & then they continue to not get married even slightly

I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move *spends 30 minutes on character customisation before starting the game only to immediately restart the entire thing because my characters nose looks weird*

sir, i love you and have that same shirt

I'm the girl in the mall becoming increasingly more gay as this spectacle progresses

Im the kid working the non-stick pan kiosk wishing wlw would find less destructive mating rituals

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

Is it a glitch or a feature?

Feature

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

@bengalbutch