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au! Intergalactic Akatsuki for @naruto-scifi-week

Machina

From The Void

Neon Noir

Across Space and Time

Lost Ship

Superhuman

the thing about owning & operating a clown meat deli is that for some reason i was required to hunt the clowns myself, which required a hunting permit. 

I was so full of shit I should have burst like a balloon, but I said it with such conviction that everyone hesitated and took a step back.

I stood in that hot, damp courtroom, surrounded by reporters, detested former customers, and my Texan lawyer in his silly white suit-and-mustache, and I listen in awe and occasional nausea as a New York City Coroner recounted to a shellshocked jury that one of the most common forensic issues that law enforcement encounters in new york is when bodies are pulled out of the harbor–in particular, severed body parts, which are a fine new york harbor tradition. the issue being, the degradation of subcutaneous tissue (aka skin) makes it difficult if not impossible to 100% conclusively identify the deceased remains as specifically HUMAN or specifically CLOWN.

To the point that throughout the nation there are morgues exclusively dedicated to storing what might be humans remains…or what might simply be discarded byproducts from local Clown Processing Plants. Because there was no way of knowing.

In fact, the Coroner went on, there was a long, rich history of human and clown remains being, shall we say, interchanged as needed. Medical students, for example, in need of cadavers to study, used to dig up human corpses and replace them with dead, varnished clown of more or less the same size and shape (a heavy layer of varnish was necessary to disguise the natural vivid coloring of clown markings, which only fade several weeks postmortem).

the fact is, doctors have been struggling for thousands of years to find an accurate litmus test between human flesh and clown flesh.

(well. i wish they’d told me sooner.)

That, i think, was what finally did it. Not for the jury, there was no way a jury was ever going to let me walk, but it was enough to get a deadlock, resulting in a MISTRIAL, BABY!!! oh the whole courtroom glared at me all right while the judge read the verdict (the judge glared loudest of all) but I just merrily wiggled my toes as the bailiff resentfully unlocked my handcuffs. In the end the District Attorney’s office judiciously decided there was no way they could conclusively prove i’d been serving human meat to my customers. they could still prove the beef and pork charges though, which was enough to strip me of my deli license and pile on some heavy fines + plus minor jail time.

In the end, I got off with time served, and funnily enough the interview i gave to Time Magazine ended up paying all the legal fines, with just enough left over for a little retirement cottage I’d had my eye on down in the Florida swamplands. (They have great clown hunting areas in the swamplands. large, healthy populations, robust herds, multiple generations of healthy family clans roaming free. the folks at Fish & Wildlife must actually know what the hell they’re doing.)

So I packed up the remains of my little deli and prudently skipped town in the dark of the night, carrying my little hobo stick-bag and cackling dastardly all the way! And that, my friends, is the story of my Rise and Fall as a Purveyor of Fine Foodstuffs & Exotic Clown Meats. 

I think every single scene Kishimoto included in Sasori’s backstory is very important in understanding who he is, and why he is what he is. No scene is wasted. Sasori’s story is the perfect example on how to make a psychopathic killing machine. Sasori’s struggle with his relationship with emotion is the core of his character.

Ok, let’s dig into this chronologically.

She fought the Cancer for 17 years. Today, sadly, her struggle ended. She is at peace now and left a great legacy.

May 30th, 1958 - December 9, 2019.