no feeling is final

your weird obsession with having a fully formed white picket fence found family who all speak like they've inhaled their therapist who you subconsciously want to be adopted into is ruining your ability to interact with the source material

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

I just mowed my 88 year old papas lawn and when i came back inside he lifted my arm to reveal a bug that was attempting to hitchhike into the house. At which point he said "you will NEVER escape my garden." And flicked it back into the grass

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

“but he did [this horrific thing]” i am neither his keeper nor happy with every single decision he makes. Also he is not real

not to be a buzzkill but i kinda hate when i see a video of teenagers goofing off or construction workers having fun and people in the replies are like "now THIS is what 'boys will be boys' should mean!" goofing off isn't a boys exclusive activity......... why did you immediately tie it to their boy-ness....... what's going on there huh............

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back