I'm A Damsel, I'm In Distress, I Can Handle This

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

Please send me the training or tutorial in a written format with maybe some screenshots if necessary. I don't want a video tutorial. I don't want to waste time trying to scroll to the exact moment in the instructions that I need and then have to pause and replay it because I missed the .01 seconds of actually relevant information.

[ID: A tweet from Liam O’Brien @.VoiceOfOBrien which reads: “This has been quietly sitting in my office for years. Make of that what you will.” There’s a picture attached of a large polished obsidian sphere resting in a brass stand, set on the corner of a desk. /end ID]

Since it's a season of...something...mostly lights...do me a favour would you? You know this image of Tutankhamun?

The documentary it comes from was terrible. It grossly exaggerated some deformities present on Tutankhamun's mummy, and is not even remotely how he looked in real life. The people who did this study never had access to his mummy, and really fudged their conclusions for a 'showstopper documentary' so much so that the Egyptian government was angry about it.

Lets list the things that are wrong!

The 'wide hips' only exist on this model because they wanted him to look more 'Amarna like'. The loin cloths found in his tomb are all standard size.

He doesn't have an overbite. This is a result of poor mummification and Carter's poor treatment of the mummy when removing it from the death mask.

He does have a cleft palate, but it's in the soft palate and he wouldn't have noticed it.

He doesn't have a severe club foot. Medical professionals have examined him repeatedly over the years. None have ever pointed it out bar the noting of a 'slight rotation' which wouldn't have been noticeable when he walked if this is indeed a club foot and not another mummification mess up. He would not have needed a staff to walk with this slight rotation. Some staffs in his tomb show wear, but it is normal in Egyptian society to walk with a staff as a sign of power. He has 120 and only 3 show slight wear.

The articles about him 'always being seated and thus very disabled' fail to note that it is common for Pharaoh's of this period to be depicted seated, and there are numerous depictions of him standing doing actions too.

This documentary made him look as bad as possible, based on terrible science, and now every time someone doesn't depict him 'gross and disabled' people complain that he's not 'ugly enough', which is ableist as hell alongside the already ableist exaggerated CGI depiction.

One of my favourite images of Tutankhamun is this one from the top of an ivory box found within his tomb:

Hips that wide would be noticeable even looking at the CT. His pelvis looks exactly how I’d expect a young man’s pelvis to look.

Club foot like that would be really obvious on the bones and would also be visible on the CT image.

His feet in the CT image look pretty normal so any abnormality that is present is so minor that it would need very close examination and measurement of precise angles to notice and/or diagnose. 

It’s certainly possible that he had pain and/or had it impact his mobility without a severe case but that’s not even a good depiction of a severe case of clubfoot. If it was really that severe all his toes would be curled under, not just half of them, and it would also be really fucking obvious in the CT and in the mummy, which is it not.

They’ve done something weird to his head/torso proportions, probably by failing to take into account that if someone is wrapped then it squeezes all the bones in so his shoulders look narrower in mummified form than they would have in life.

I personally like to close my eyes and pretend I'm the one who's screaming.

Unstoppable force meets... Immovable Object?

This is stupid. All of the problems complained about are due to

- wearing the wrong corsets or stays

- wearing ill-fitting corsets or stays

- not wearing a shift under the corset

The Bridgerton actresses were complaining about how horrible and painful their corsets were, which is bizarre, because Regency corsets have no boning.

Look at them:

Do you see any boning there?? There’s nothing to tight lace!! They didn’t even care about the waist, it was all about the bust! Regency stays hoisted your boobs up so you looked like the figurehead of a ship, they didn’t smush them down like sad booby pancakes.

(you also couldn’t tight lace, because to tight lace you need metal eyelets, and they hadn’t even been invented yet)

I have worn 18th century stays; they were more comfortable than an underwire bra. There was nothing restrictive about them. You’re going to sit up straight, but that’s about it. Also, all women wore corsets, not just the wealthy. Women cleaned houses, worked in factories, and did farm work while wearing corsets and without fainting all the time. If you can’t breathe while wearing a corset, loosen the corset.

Also also, corsets were structural garments, in that they supported the weight of the clothing. Nothing is going to look right. They’re going to spend all this money on their next fancy costume drama, and everyone’s going to look like they’re wearing a halloween costume.