🎃

no one else twists the knife as good as u come over

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit

TESTOSTEROEN CIGARETTE BEING SMOKED BY A BUTCH DYKE OUTSIDE THE BAR SHE SHOTGUN THR SMOKE INTO MYMOUTH I GET SO HARD I PASS OUT SMASH MY HEAD AND DIE

sorry that was meant for the tags

it’s okay. You’ve painted a beautiful and true picture

the tragedy of tumblr is you will inevitably meet people who you should be having a sleepover with. you should be rolling around on their floor and rummaging through their fridge and watching shitty movies with. you should be shopping with should be going out to a cafe with should be wandering through the aquarium with. people who you should be experiencing quotidian joys with... and you cannot! because they live one million miles away

shoutout to the local radio dj reporting on the tornado warning and going "I will keep you entertained while you shelter in place" and then playing some really fucking creepy noise and ambient music

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)