Schizoid Self-Conversion Questions
TW: mention of psychological and physical self harming
Questions:
Have you ever tried schizoid self-conversion (trying to convert yourself to be an extrovert and social)?
Did any of you view this time period as traumatic in a way, since you’re inducing emotions like engulfment, and feelings of being psychologically smothered or buried alive?
I ask because I’m going through this right now. I don’t have a GED, no job, and I’m not in college. I can’t do any of these things due to disability. But I want to make my mom proud of me by reaching at least one milestone, such as friendship. Also, all of my relatives have insulted her and called her a bad parent. I want them to admire my mom.
But I feel like this self-conversion attempt is a form of self-harm. I used to cut and burn myself and this feels the same. I’ve made an online friend (who I’ll be meeting in-person tomorrow) and my mental health is suffering. I was so much more content before this and I want to go back to being isolated. But I feel so selfish because I know my isolation hurts my mom.
To me, it feels like I am being invaded. Like there’s a never-ending urgency to stop what’s going on and if I don’t I’ll never be able to relax again. Psychological smothering is a good way to word it. I never really consciously forced myself to be more social or extroverted, but sometimes it’s an obligation.
Me too! That’s also how I feel, a nonstop urgency. And it feels like the other person is psychologically crawling under my skin and it also gives me that invasion feeling.















