PTSD Confessions

Less: “You’re limitless.” More: “Everybody has limits and you’re not a failure if your diagnosis gives you limits that most people don’t have. Having limits and learning to accommodate them is a natural, important and healthy thing.

Less: “Change your attitude, change your life.” More: “Your diagnosis and how it impacts your life isn’t an attitude problem and getting better is much more complicated than thinking positive thoughts and that’s okay.”

Less: “Stay positive and you’ll be happy.” More: “It’s okay to struggle with negative emotions and nobody can be positive all the time. Struggling to stay positive doesn’t make you a bad or weak person.”

Less: “You have so many wonderful reasons to live.” More: “Your life is valuable and you deserve to be here even if it feels like you don’t have many reasons to live right now - cause you’ll find those reasons along the way.”

Less: “Remember that life is amazing!” More: “Your life may suck right now but that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it in the long run.”

you deserve someone who will make you happy

you deserve someone who doesn’t make you question if you’re their priority

you deserve someone who listens

you deserve someone who validates your feelings

you deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them

you deserve someone who makes time for you

you deserve someone who gushes about you

you deserve someone who makes sure you know they enjoy spending time with you

you deserve someone who makes you laugh on your worst days

you deserve someone who makes you go to bed with a smile on your face, not tears in your eyes

you deserve someone who doesn’t make you worry you might say the wrong thing

you deserve someone who is willing to drop everything to comfort you on a really bad day

you deserve someone who pays attention to the little things you like and dislike

you deserve someone who gets you

you deserve someone who sees a future with you

you deserve someone who appreciates you

Mentioning this to a much older person has gotten me scoffed at, “Oh, so you want me to give you a pat on the back for/ every little thing you do/?”

You’ll see a lot of posts saying “Don’t forget to talk to/send gifts/reconnect with family! Now is the time for forgiveness and understanding!” - but you don’t have to do that, you don’t owe anyone who has done you wrong a single thing.

“The Holidays” are not a magical eraser that wipes the slate clean, it’s not a “cure all” or “Band-Aid” for abusive people to use to get forgiveness without doing the work to earn it, it’s not a time to “put our differences aside and enjoy a meal” - you have your own agency and you should not let some Crappily Worded Greeting Card Post/Tweet/Commercial/Movie “message” sway you into forgiving people (even temporarily) who don’t deserve it.