Wizard of Progression

it’s monday i’m in the labyrinth

it’s tuesday i’m in the evil lab

it’s wednesday i’m in the time loop

it’s thursday i’m in the medieval torture apparatus

🌸it’s friday i’m in love🌸

it's wednesday you're back in the time loop

hey guys is there a nice wizard on tumblr or is it only the evil one

it’s just me

just him sorry

"I hate when the skeletons on decorations aren't anatomically accurate." A Halloween skeleton isn't the same as what's inside you, idiot. It's different. A Halloween skeleton is, like. A guy or something. It's an animal.

If Halloween skeletons had bones like ours instead of hollow bones like that of a bird, they wouldn't be able to play their ribcages like xylophones. You sound so fucking uneducated right now.

I still love New Mexico real estate listings. They’re like “This iconic adobe structure was built in 1843. There is an abandoned flooded silver mine in the back yard. This home served as a brothel, saloon, general store, post office and military base during the Mexican-American War. The abandoned silver mine in the backyard is infested with vampire bats somehow, you’re not allowed to fill it in because scientists are will studying it. The house was remodeled in the 1970s when archeological excavation of the silver mine revealed it had been the dumping site of a serial killer who was active between 1896 and 1901. Three luxurious bathrooms, 5 spacious bedrooms and a lovely courtyard. Billy the Kid stayed here during the Lincoln County War and reportedly haunts the property. In addition to the vampire bat infestation, there are a number of poisonous spiders inhabiting the mine, do not go in the mine. We cannot warn you away from the mine enough. Otherwise, a fantastic property with so much history and so few malicious entities inhabiting the structure and land. $2.3 million dollar asking price.”

OH MY GOD THIS RULESSSSS

holy shit

mole interest. what spells can they cast

4pm ahhsjfjfnr

the further you go with the recursion the better it gets. but its like turning 9999 into 9999.9, and then 9999.99, and so on. diminishing returns. However this has not stopped me from keeping a pet summoning circle in my bathroom that i add to whenever I am pooping. we are currently 73 sets of circles and lines deep

I don't know which of you fuckers decided to cast Heat Wave but I'm countering that with Thunderstorm

...and this resulted in several peasant deaths in the tri-duchy area. Liches truly have no awareness of the hundred of lives they're. oh wait. yea. epic wizard battle time?

I kind of feel like drawing/painting something but I have no ideas that'd appeal to me. Someone suggest me things to make so I can go "no, not that one" until I come up with something completely different from any of that.

draw me casting chain lightning

common chain lightning W

dw they are using it for a good purpose

Hehehehe...now that I've gotten this evil skull, people are sure to take me seriously as a threat!

make it glow. preferably green. wear it if possible. get a robe. also preferably green but whereas the skull glows limeish your robe is much darker. it also needs to cover your feet because idk what a li- i mean apprentice's footwear looks like. learn necromancy (for scholarly purposes ofc). talk to @evilwizard and boom youre a proper apprentice and totally not fulfilling part of my contract with @evilwizard

... if you dont have the beard... where tf do you keep your bead talismans???

this is why wizard towers are built of stone obsidian and other assorted magical nonflammable materials. alternatively you could fire proof the whole house but thats a waste of mana

Me when I’m bored so I have to push my apprentice into the gelatinous cube

depending on the color of the cube you are either zardac the sinister or zardac the kind, and i have a feeling you chose the option that is gonna get wosha to have a word with you

Have you considered a stencil tome? Its really handy if you have aerosolized paint

thats actually a good idea i might try it out

one of these days ill figure out how to put blood in a spray paint can and i will do some very large amounts of demonic terrorism