Illitha the Technocrat

Ok but Hadvar is right there, tell me that man isn't a hero

humans produce FAR to much mucus, to remedy this we’ve made a potion that replaces all your mucus with a pure element from the periodic table. Roll a d118, or roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage (your gross mucus gets in the way)

Omw to sell a gold plated turd to the pawnshop, thanks OP

Alien wizard abducted me and asked if I’m aware of all 7 schools of magic. But there’s 8 schools last I checked, so I’m not sure which school they’re excluding. But wizard aliens love to feel superior, so I lied and said I only know 6 and he must be so smart. I couldn’t break that little grey guy’s heart like that.

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.

Fourth circle needed: IT workers

You say that with such confidence that I am compelled to trust your vision. Personally I have no idea where this is going.

i'd say the overlap between "sex workers" and "people who work in morgues" is probably "seeing naked strangers a lot"

"professional handling of bodies of strangers"?

MY OVARIES!!!!!!

Our*

THEYRE COMMUNIZING MY FUCKING OVARIES!!!!!!!!

Our*

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FUCKING OVARIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our*

I DO NOT CONSENT TO YOU COMMUNIZING MY FUCKING OVARIES!!!!!!

Our*

you know what. i may be getting jumped by tumblrians but at least i have my clownfish. its me and you against the world buddy

Our clownfish

I CANT HAVE ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKIBG WORLD

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard