Totally Gonna Be the Best Evil Wizard Ever

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

you guys are ruining brunch

fuuuccckk ive beeen cursed again

I notice you're wearing purple still, which hasn't been the wizard fashion in nearly sixty years. Get with the times and put on some green.

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

you guys are ruining brunch

fuuuccckk ive beeen cursed again

I notice you're wearing purple still, which hasn't been the wizard fashion in nearly sixty years. Get with the times and put on some green.

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

you guys are ruining brunch

fuuuccckk ive beeen cursed again

I notice you're wearing purple still, which hasn't been the wizard fashion in nearly sixty years. Get with the times and put on some green.

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

you guys are ruining brunch

fuuuccckk ive beeen cursed again

I notice you're wearing purple still, which hasn't been the wizard fashion in nearly sixty years. Get with the times and put on some green.

Seems I will have to take thy word for it... Bestest of lucks on reclaiming your mortal form! Ha ha ha. Don't get... Heheheh. Split in halves!!! Mwahahaha..

Maybe I will, just to show you who's boss!

Has anyone seen my original body? I'm trying to get out of worm mode.

Yeah, I think a necromancer grabbed it by mistake and threw it in his cart. Looks like he went that way, from the tracks (necromancers have very small feet).

oh sick someone paved this whole road with good intentions. i wonder where it leads

My dream home is a super tall spire with a lot of windows in a place where the days are always gray and cloudy and the nights are always rain and thunder storms. Also everyone thinks I'm some kind of evil wizard

Like. I like sun. But my eyes are sensitive to bright lights and I like wearing lots of layers, so days that are kind of chilly and cloudy are perfect for me. And I simply love going to sleep to the sound of rain.

Would you still feel threatened by my evil plans if I was a worm?

Mwahahaha! Evil continues!

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

Would you still feel threatened by my evil plans if I was a worm?

How big of a worm? Like earthworm, or like a sandworm from Dune

About five inches! And sort of fuzzy and pink, wirh googly eyes.