Blue Jeans... Fat Cock

i am not afraid to keep on living. etc

me after one bagel sandwich

Enjoy a drink on one of my special coasters. Yea I custom made them (the coasters) to be so light the drinks condensation makes em stick to the bottom of your glass, but still heavy enough that when it (the coaster) finally clatters to the ground it's loud as fuck and shatters your nerves and makes you spill your drink everywhere. Why am I doing this? Well, it's a sex thing for me

omg imagine being born and you are on a spaceship and everyone aboard is sooo so mad at you just because you burst out of some guy's chest to be born. like um sorry i've not been alive before i didn't even know that's not allowed please be nice to me um the spaceship floor is cold is no one going to knit me some little booties i am calling child protective services

How are my sweetie pees

Ummmm. Wow. Never thought about that angle.

@creatures-in-posts

Boy why are you so paws??

for swimmin' and paddlin', obviously

Soon they're going to make it illegal to sing a haunting siren song that drives people to the brink of madness 🙄 because of woke

I’m out here buying tshirts and pants like a chump while some people are just wearing the world’s best rectangles

there’s a type of creature that lives six miles underwater in the sunless void and it’s hatched in two bodies and unless they find each other and fuse into a single chimaeric whole they can never grow up properly. hello? hello??

That's extremely cool! also, distracted and enraptured by the writing style at the second link.

scientists need to start doing scooby doo hoaxes

Chat they made Minecraft into a silly goofy cringe movie even through Minecraft is actually about life and earth and the universe and tearing meaning out of the ground and molding it with your hands into something that you can be proud of. They made the pink sheep look ugly and funny for a cheap laugh when it should’ve been a beautiful moment where you, age eleven, come across this rarity, this beautiful anomaly and you hold its face in your hands and stare into its chocolate brown eyes and you realize what the whole world is about. Chat they made it into a joke