The Department of Psychic War Veteran Affairs

it's like he just cycled through all the emotes in a MMORPG

hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you

Hey yeah so this post literally kept me alive for like 6 months. Thank you. And OP is so right. Everyone on this island became my best friends. And guess what? Now they can't wait to meet *you* and they talk about you every single day.

100% AND i was able to name all the real ones

one thing i will say for Sports as a source of human drama is that it's possible to be literally one of the best human beings in the ENTIRE WORLD at [thing] and still be Eternal Second Best

if i were jonas vingegaard they would have to name a new mental illness after me

imagine. you're a Cycling Guy. that's your job. you are literally one of the best in the whole world. you've won the tour de france twice, and only like fifteen guys ever have done that. and everyone who has ever even heard of you knows you as the guy who is just not quite as good as another guy

this dude won the tour twice but he has come second behind tadej pogacar four times. and it's gonna happen again this year. vingegaard's first tour win literally only happened because pogacar got in a crash. pogacar's about to take his fifth tour win, and five is the most tours anyone has ever won except lance armstrong lol. and vingegaard is behind him, in second. as always. if i were pogacar i would have someone tasting my food

also in the tour de france, the guy who is Currently Winning gets to wear a special jersey. the yellow jersey. but also the tour de france has multiple winner jerseys for different things. obviously the guy who is overall winning wears the yellow jersey, but there are other things to compete for. including the polka dotted jersey, which is for king of the mountains, i.e. the guy who climbs up each of the mountains fastest. and the polka dotted jersey is coveted it's like the second most important after yellow. but it is less important than yellow. which means that if, say, you are entitled to wear both the yellow jersey and the polka dotted jersey. you wear the yellow jersey. and the polka dotted jersey goes to the guy in second place for king of the mountains. which means that right now, tadej pogacar, who is currently both overall winner and king of the mountains, is racing in yellow. and jonas vingegaard is wearing tadej pogacar's cast off polka dots. because he is also in second place for king of the mountains