Hodge-Podge

But of course, humans are humans. And one day he’s coiled up in the bookshop on a chair, and a human wanders in and he prepares for the screaming and the panic and he’s secretly pleased because two birds/one stone. he gets left alone and Aziraphale will be pleased Crowley made a customer leave. He keeps his eyes closed, but slithers a little. Just enough for the sun to catch on his scales. 

He hears a sharp intake of breath. He prepares himself for the cacophony of horror. Once a woman had knocked over an entire book shelf in her haste to exit the shop upon encountering the ‘pet snake’ of the owner. 

“I’m Crowley’s replacement,” the demon says.  “He’s not done anything impressive lately, and Downstairs doesn’t like how ineffective he is at keeping you in line.  So now he’s shuffling paperwork and scooping up hellhound shit while I do his job for him.”

“Ah… I see,”  Aziraphale says icily.  “Well, I most assuredly do not look forward to working with you.”

The demon laughs.  “Feeling’s mutual.”

Twenty-four hours later, the demon is very surprised to find himself discorporated in his sleep.  He can’t explain what happened, he has absolutely no idea.

“Don’t let it happen again,” Beelzebub says, annoyed, and sends the demon back up.

After a mere three days, the demon ends up discorporated again.

A new replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for a week and a day.

A third replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for exactly four hours.

Three demons are sent up next time.  Two manage to stay alive for at least five months.  In that time, they botch four very important temptations, and the citizens of London inexplicably find their daily lives much improved in thousands of little ways.  Traffic and pollution are nonexistent, injury and illness are miraculously avoided.  Church attendance is up five hundred percent, and every politician and CEO is struck by the urge to donate as much money as possible to charity.  There’s a general feeling of contentedness and goodwill in the air that wasn’t there before.  It feels downright heavenly.

Suddenly, Beelzebub is having a very hard time finding anyone to take Crowley’s post.  Bribes and threats make no difference.  The rumors have spread and only grown more disturbing in the telling.  Not one demon is willing to go up there and face the cold, calculated, merciless wrath of the angel known as Aziraphale.

Crowley absolutely loses it when someone gets around to telling him.  “Y’know, I could’ve warned you,” he says gleefully.  “Been working with him for thousands of years.  I know exactly how much of a bastard he can be.”

After running the numbers and seeing how many souls they’ve lost to Heaven in the past year, Beelzebub gives up and concludes that trying to replace Crowley is a massive waste of resources Hell can’t afford.

After one year, Aziraphale receives another phone call.  He answers, with bated breath, and nearly shouts for joy when he hears a familiar voice.

Look at that third gif. Look at the way he moves his head as he begins to grin. That’s a little challenge. That’s 100% absolutely “you’re supposed to be the one tempting me, shouldn’t you get started?”

A little good omens comic that goes way back! it took me a long time to finish but i did it! There’s not much to it other than the fact that I wanted to draw a younger version of Aziraphale and Crowley, 

juxtapose that against david tennant’s portrayal of crowley, which relies on so much outside his eyes - his movement of his mouth and forehead and eyebrows become dramatic, the baring of teeth, the raising of his brow, and then of course his entire body comes into the picture, that distinctive walk we’ve all yelled so much about. when we do see crowley’s eyes they’re so open and vulnerable - in many cases dramatically enlarged, even - much like the rest of his expressions. david tennant’s portrayal of crowley is a portrayal that can’t help but give itself away, despite not seeing his eyes - the crumbling face in the bar scene, the devastation at the bandstand and on the soho street, almost shocked, the soft smiles on the bench and in the ritz, you know the ones, and the one, very bright, very big smile after the paintball scene. david tennant’s portrayal gives you everything everywhere else because he so often can’t give you the eyes, or he can’t give aziraphale the eyes - we see more of crowley’s eyes when he’s alone than any other time - so the soul of crowley is lodged everywhere else. you don’t need the eyes to know him. 

crowley suggests they run away together, aziraphale rejects it. crowley reframes it - hell knows it was me! and aziraphale rejects it again.

crowley had every reason to believe that aziraphale was going to give in eventually. that’s the dance. i’m sorry, whatever i said, i didn’t mean it. now get in the car. he’s panicked, but he is still trying to complete the dance. crowley might have expected the bandstand break-up as par for the course, but crowley doesn’t really understand that aziraphale is really, actually rejecting him until he tries a second time, because he’s always had to try a second time. but aziraphale says no. maybe for the first time ever, aziraphale gets to the end of the dance, and he still says no. you can see crowley finally realize it too: 

Helping Crowley get dressed, or not. Based on this post

theres a convo on reddit going on rn abt how europeans see americans working conditions and a bunch of americans are like "its really not bad unless you work an entry level job, i have a medium wage job i got with my degree and i get about 15 days of paid vacation a year and i even get some sick days and can accrue more, the people complaining are low wage workers who should get something better"

like. you realize that for a fulltime job 20 paid vacation days are mandatory here right? and that even entry level job offer more paid vacation days? and that any ot you work gets paid more AND counts as more vacation time right? like if your work week is 38 hours and you work 40 hours a week you get paid overtime AND an extra paid 12 vacation days a year right? and that sick days are mandatory to be paid by your employer right? that theres no limit on sick days, right?