Hhmmng Chipotel

It was. A lot dirtier. So much dirtier.

Ewww. (She needs a BATH)

Anyway. This is Daisy! (Paired with Dottie, my 80yo sewing machine, not pictured here.)

She's a 1956 Royal Quiet De Luxe, with a green finish on her plastic keys, a fiberglass case in green on the inside and a crinkle finish on the outside in brown. (Not pictured). The case's latch still works, and while disassembling it for cleaning, the key for the latch fell out of the keyboard! It likely fell off of the string attached to the name card holder on the top of the lid and fell inside.

I bought it, case and all, for $10 at Goodwill. Pristine ones sell for anywhere from $800 to $2700. (At least, Ernest Hemingway's original one did.)

This one, was, unfortunately, in much worse condition than Ernie boy's.

The sheer mold and dust and old crusty machine oil on this thing... ugh.

The keys were all entirely WHITE with dust and who knows what else when I bought it. (INCREDIBLE FIND EITHER WAY OH MY GOD)

Anyway. Now she looks like this:

Or. She did. She's currently fully disassembled in my basement awaiting proper sandblasting for a fresh paint job and polish.

See the white shit on the keys? Yeah. They were COVERED in it.

Love the green, though. They're keeping the green.

Also, did you know that these babies are made with nickel, aside from steel? I sure didn't.

The brushed nickel under the paint looks more like copper, and I'm seriously considering cleaning ALL of the paint off of everything (just to be safe) and either repainting just the steel or aluminum or whatever the silver metal is made of, and leaving the brushed nickel exposed cause it looks so nice with the green keys, or leaving the entire thing with a polished metal finish. Because mmm that typewriter skeleton is SO FINE.

Nakey.

The only problem is putting it back together once its all clean. And what color to repaint it with. I spent ALL DAY today JUST disassembling this mechanical beauty. And I'm doing all of this knowing that restoring her might reduce the value significantly, since I'm removing the original paint and what have you, but how can you not the old paint, while an interesting plaster texture... (crinkle? Are we sure?) Unfortunately, the grey's gotta go. I have to restripe the carriage anyway, as well as redo a couple of the keys, and while I DESPERATELY wanted to keep the original ribbon, because it's actually completely inked still! It's SATURATED with mold, and vintage ribbons are fairly cheap, anyway.

Ugh it's so neat. The aesthetic is so good I can't wait to use it. The dirt's gotta go, though.

Here's a video of me swishing the screws and bits around in a sacrificial tupperware container.

Got it on that fork in the garbage disposal spin cycle mode. (Satisfying metal noises but if they were in a washing machine) Also pictured, the almost empty skeleton of the typewriter, and a piece of the typing arms mechanism! (So many little metal arms and springs, OH MY GOD. Where's the video.of the lady taking stock of the springs found behind the washing machine? Cause that was literally me. All day. Spring... Spring... Spring... NO DONT FALL ON THE FLOOR I NEED THAT. ... spring.)

Dish soap and 70% isopropyl alcohol, btw. Did NOT use straight up water, to prevent rust. And mold. Gotta kill the mold. Soft scrub is also apparently effective, but I haven't used it yet. I'll use it on the carriage later, probably.

I probably didn't have to fully disassemble her to clean her. Probably. But now that I have, the result is gonna be a fully polished, fully restored, and well oiled typewriter on which I'll be HOPEFULLY writing some prepublished work... hopefully.

I got most of the paint off the exterior of the main bezel, but the interior is still the original paint.

She stinky. She smelly. Her glow up will be legendary, though.

UnfORTUNATELY i failed to expect that maybe the PLASTIC VINTAGE KEYCAPS WOULD MELT IN MY ALCOHOL SOLUTION.

So now i have to source MORE VINTAGE KEYCAPS or find a resin mold to make my own. Which I am low key pissed about. But after a soak and a rinse, yeah those keys aren't salvageable.

I do have an extra set of modern keys that I'm curious to see if they'll fit, but they might not... I'm wondering if I can rescue the clips from inside them, but if they're all made from the same plastic, then... womp womp.

I got a nice copper patina teal color to compliment the brushed nickel once it's clean, I'm literally so excited. I just have to. Figure out. How to clean. ALL THE INDIVIDUAL MECHANISM PIECES IN BULK because polishing them all clean with the dremel like I did the main bezel is going to take a million years.

Isabelle was happy to see you. She always is, but seeing as the last time you played was... 9 years ago, this seemed significant to mention.

The campground has undergone a renovation, and I can now use MEOW coupons to buy things from the camp store and the CAT machine.

Along with some new initiatives, PomPom still hasnt had a chance to move in yet. So far it seems that you haven't done much with your town. In fact, Renée only just moved in. It's no surprise she wasn't sure who you were at first. Lolly and Cousteau, however, praised your return.

I guess it is kinda hard to keep up with Animal Crossing given it's day to day mechanic.

Poor Chow cried when he saw you again. Tiffany thinks it's good to see you.

Your tent is modest, to say the least. I hope you got more playtime out of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. From the state of the progress here, it seems that you may have gotten bored too quickly, or moved on to the Wii U, or the Switch, as soon as it came out. Which, I can't blame you.

Your cartridge is in good hands. I'll take good care of your villagers, as well. They'll make a permanent comeback if I end up starting over, or if I continue your save, as Chimmi of Changa, they'll take permanent residence in the VIP neighborhood.

Sincerely, your neighbor,

Marcy of Bean Team

I hope you're still doing well.

Isabelle thinks you've been gone for 10 years, but as of May 31st, you've still only been gone 9. When I set the time on my 3DS, the game power vaulted me into the year after, so to them, it's been a much longer time. I'm glad I can give them some closure.

I've started to fill the museum finally, much to Blather's delight and dismay. Leif has moved in on Main Street, and the mayor finally has a house. (A tent for 10 years? No wonder the first scene back was on the train. Poor Chimmi couldn't handle sleeping on the ground every day.)

There are new faces on the island again, some who have really no clue that you've been gone, only that you've recently returned. And yet Isabelle is commemorating your 10th anniversary anyway.

(Is it for you, or for her? So long as she insists it's for you, I won't quibble. I'll send her something nice in the mail for working so hard all by herself.)

Animal Crossing is a deeply unserious game. However, I shall continue.

Best of luck to you, wherever you may be, write to me if you can.

Your friend,

Marcy of Bean Team

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

FIRST THING TO UNDERSTAND: Baroque music is really really fucking cool. You could see it as a reaction to more constrained medieval/renaissance music, which was often obsessive about certain musical rules. Baroque comes from the Portuguese barroco, "an irregularly-shaped pearl", and was actually used as a criticism meaning something very weird, dissonant, overly extravagant, etc. It's seen as very structured but is in fact a collection of big ol' "fuck yous" to the previous era of musical structure. SECOND THING TO UNDERSTAND: Vivaldi was really really fucking cool. He was nicknamed "The Red Priest" as a young spicey ginger, and for many years he was the violin maestro at a combo orphanage/music school for girls. He wrote a zillion works specifically for the girls to perform, coached them in music theory and instruments, and helped many of them launch esteemed careers abroad. Also the board of directors hated him and kept firing him and then realizing they needed him and bringing him back, for reasons completely lost to history, but probably related to his spiciness. THIRD THING TO UNDERSTAND: "The Four Seasons" is really really fucking cool. It's written to accompany four sonnets with super vivid imagery including sudden spring/summer storms ("Thunderstorms, those heralds of Spring, roar, casting their dark mantle over heaven!"), mad drunken revelry, the chase of hunting dogs, slipping on ice and eating shit, etc. When you hear it played properly it's very much not "this pretty song kinda reminds me of spring" but "oh wow I can hear dogs barking in the viola section, chirping birds in the violins, a summer storm wrecking the fuck out of my grain, and dangerously crackling ice!" FOURTH THING TO UNDERSTAND: "The Four Seasons" is rarely played in the spirit of its time. This is Mozart's fault. Well, not really, he didn't tell anyone to play it wrong. But he did give rise to a cult of strings players who play in a very "Mozartian" style - light, pretty, clean, effortless. And for some reason (ahem. some reason i won't go into as this is long enough), this playing style has become the predominant mode for The Four Seasons. Which makes it sound like light, pretty, clean, fancy music.

As we covered above, it is baroque music, so it is not any those things! It's weird and crunchy and extravagant, with musical affectations that would have been considered revolutionary at the time. If you're playing it in the baroque tradition you're also going to be adding your own ornamentations and expressions. Bringing your own weirdness is encouraged in baroque music.

Basically, it's a crime that everyone sees Four Seasons as "fancy music that plays in movies when rich people are onscreen" when it was written by The Red Priest Who Ran A Girls School For Orphans When That Was Very Much Not The Done Thing And Pissed Off the Board At Every Opportunity, and written during a musical period that history has classified specifically as a fuck-you to "pretty and clean and fancy."

For some real crunchy Four Seasons, I will always recommend Adrian Chandler & the Serenissima. BUCKLE UP TO GET YOUR SHIT WRECKED AND YOUR WHEAT CROPS MURDERED BY A SUMMER STORM!!