ﾟ･*.KaijuuWaifu.*･ﾟ

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

it's been months and I'm still baffled by how this one-sentence post keeps getting so many responses that go "this exists except without the last part of the sentence"

there should be a tumblr without piss poor reading comprehension

we already have that except with piss poor reading comprehension, which i assume is like an extraneous detail rather than a major part of the point you're making

i want lists and solutions by the time i finish this jiyuiceh box. warning ⚠️ I. AM. TIRSTY! and it is ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ punch! and it is delicious

I'm getting a lot of "people who only like the "americans explaining a concept to each other: ok so imagine a burger..." meme explaining the "guy who has only seen The Boss Baby before watching his second movie: I'm getting a lot of Boss Baby vibes from this one" meme to each other: okay so imagine the "americans explaining a concept to each other: okay so imagine a burger..." meme..." vibes from this one

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

I'm glad everyone is alive rn

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

c'mon, don't you want to be a good girl? it'd feel soooo good to fall to corruption, don't you think? you want that right? to feel each and every part of you indelibly stained by her touch? it's so easy. all you have to do is let her hit you with another 1/1 phyrexian mite. can you be a good girl and declare no blockers for her now?

I can't get over "and comes fucks me".

This video ruined all those aesthetic photos of fog for me. I can’t see a foggy landscape without this video playing in my head.

It's Comes Fucks Me Wednesday babes

I was gonna queue this but then tumblr user commandtower-solring-go declared it a Wednesday post and