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will byers stan first human second
todays bird

shark vs the universe
tumblr dot com
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EXPECTATIONS
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
macklin celebrini has autism
noise dept.

Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
Today's Document
cherry valley forever
Claire Keane
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Misplaced Lens Cap

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@why-does-nobody-expect

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I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you
I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products
the girls are fighting over it today. and by “it”, haha, well. lets just say food. and by “girls”, i mean my shrims

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No joke is one-size-fits-all, but adding "but I remain optimistic" at the end of any somewhat-speculating statement makes it funny, taking a different tone in each.
Adding it to the end of something positive gives it an unexpected twist - implying that whatever the good thing that happened was, it wasn't what you expected or hoped to happen, but you're yet to give up hope of whatever the fuck you've now vaguely implied towards might still happen. "He survived and is expected to make a full recovery, but I remain optimistic."
Adding it to a neutral statement implies that you think something can be done about it, funniest if the statement is something that obviously can't be affected. "Apparently it's tuesday tomorrow, but I remain optimistic."
And the bleakest, most hopeless statements just become bleakly funny by the grim absurdity. "About 30 seconds remain until impact, and the chances of any of us surviving the crash are zero. But I remain optimistic."
free use? *smirks snartly* so naive. you know nothing in this damned society is really free...
can't look up what snartly means because i don't have a dictionary account

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hares look like nefarious rabbits. hares look like normal bunnies but with malice brimming in their beady little eyes. if you had never seen a hare before, you would look at one and say “wow, this bunny fucking hates me”
The element of surprise was in it being a killer rabbit, if it was a bloodthirsty killer hare, everyone would expect that.
you might expect that, but…
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
Yosano Akiko, from a poem featured in River of Stars: The Poetry of Yosano Akiko
*trying not to doxx myself* shoutout to that one thing in a place somewhere
just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

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this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye
these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name
his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?
i am wrong, what the fuck
world heritage post
🎵Happy
to me.🎵
🎵Happy
to me!🎵
🎵Happy
to me!🎵