I'm too ace for this

if david lynch was a crab hed be called david pinch and hed be able to edit his movies by hand with his sharp claws. so think about that a little

bbc merlin has a lot of faults but i do think the way they blithely ignored the existence of christianity was very funny of them

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

Wednesday the 15th. What an excellent day. Middle of the week, middle of the month. Truly, we are in the middle of things.

sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is

the secret truth is that men and women are literally exactly the same

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

I was drinking tomato juice while gaming, and I finished it, but then I died and had to reload a save from before I finished my tomato juice, and for a moment, I was genuinely confused about why my tomato juice was still empty.