I'm too ace for this

  |=|_____________    /In This House \   / We Respect   \  /_Bitchy Trans Girls\   ||  || /--\ ||  ||   ||[]|| | .| ||[]|| ()||__||_|__|_||__||() ( )|-|-|-|====|-|-|-|( ) ^^^^^^^^^^====^^^^^^^^^^^

If I woke up tomorrow and I was suddenly bisexual and polyamorous, the first thing I'd do is get two girlfriends and make my spouse and my two girlfriends learn the sick as fuck Halloween dance choreography from Once Bitten (1985) and perform it for me. Second thing I'd do is make coffee I guess because I just woke up in this scenario.

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

Misunderstood genius : Understood genius is M :: Artisanal coffee : Anal coffee is art

:: A long & overly elaborate Punisher fanfic : Her fanfic is a long & overly elaborate pun

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

all roads lead to road dude. and when in road do as the rodents do.

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

can we get anne carson on hot ones

No one - and I mean no one- could have prepared me just how much of my adult life would consist of keeping the dumbest dog ever created alive against his will

It's 103 degrees out and your brain is the size of pea dude I can't let you lay out there and bake all day you'll literally LITERALLY fry your little pea brain please stop screaming at me

Am I putting the mop bucket up high to keep it from my child? Now I am not. This dummy thinks Lysol is just flavoring even though it made him vomit.

i love my incorrect song interpretation #myincorrectsonginterpretation

sometimes, for the greater good, you just gotta be a raging hater (with a friend) (in a private convo)

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with