the world is my whale carcass

if the emperors of rome can add extra months that actually fuck the calendar up i'm allowed to add a new month that lasts 0.0000 picoseconds

the last holiday that hasn't been commercialized

i made this up when i was a little kid and nothing would make me happier than to see people celebrating it for years to come

zenquish approaches. prepare to rejoice! briefly!

So briefly in fact that the preparation and the afterparty for the celebration makes up exactly 100% of the celebration, kinda like new years except even shorter

see, you get it

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad

Whenever I used to see one on the road I’d just start pointing and screaming at the top of my lungs “EWWWWWWWW!!!!” It happened to frequently that I would scare the shit out of my mom driving and I would get yelled at to stop

I flip them off whenever I see one. Full arm extended, finger up. And usually some sort of disgusted/ disappointed look on my face.

mim. *hearty laugh* sos. kay, now let me-HOW AM I GONNA GET MIM WHEN I ONLY HAVE A BUCKAYEYUP? well you gotta SUCC and you gotta SUCC ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ SUCC  ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒᵗᵗᵃ seis. I CAN’T SEIS, I’M DWITCH. not with that attitude you 𝖇𝖎𝖌𝖊𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖗𝖋. [break for chuckling]       DON’T YOU CALL ME A FRrᵣ rᵣʳᵣᵣ ₐᵃₐᵃₐᵃₐᵃᵃₐ ᵃₐᵃₐᵃₐᵧʸᵧʸᵧ ᵧʸᵧ ᵧ ᵧʸᵧ ᵧʸ I’M SWIS. you better. FUF. and then, you better BRRROOB, cause if you don’t BROOB, you’re NOTHING but a NOTHING and then the NOTHING becomes a NOTHING and then you’re NOTHING as a 𝓙𝓞𝓙 and then you’re NOTHING 𝓢𝓞𝓢 and then you think you’re thatthe top and you’re the Bottom and you’re a 𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚖 and youRearAvoovavoovavsusadSON. shis. I’ve been epIC, pa-

I… I legitimately can’t tell, did someone do sentence mixing on this clip or are they just somehow doing the most dead-on impression of sentence-mixing shitposting to ever be captured on audio?

they are actually doing dead on impressions of YTP mixing and they did this for like a solid hour

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

Why is it referred to as coming out of the closet? 

It could be coming out of anything. What wasted potential.

Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just guys

Bro you definitely added too much soy sauce. Change your name and move to a new city

Just go missing bro it's ruined

Believe women

If I was there she’d have 39,999 cugarwtes

40,001

If I was there she’d be S13 Ep19

40,002 cigaretws