Some pain is okay

a former coworker is a kind of dead wife

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

the beach that. makes you dead

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

what the fuck is a salesforce. we're briefly alive for a few violent decades