Kjedelige meg

well shit

Clearly, to the crows, we’re the pets.

At least they only used the edible parts of Mr. Mime.

This is now an even MORE cursed post, thank you for reminding me of that.

does anyone agree that we do not have enough heart emojis

There are eleven heart emojis why do you need more

Because I want more

full offense but like…. ladies and gentlemen…. this is mambo number 5

Burying it cleaned it super well though so honestly I did the right thing.

So I’m getting a lot of messages from people who have similar stories and I think we need to pose this to archaeologists as a new theory to major pottery finds

i think rickrolling is the only meme that gets objectively funnier with age. in 2009 you learned to anticipate it but in 2019 it happens just infreqently enough that i fall for it every single time

like people still make rage comics and doge jokes and shit but it’s always ironic (the real punchline is that you’re using an outdated format) or more in line with modern absurd internet humor. rickrolling is the only meme i can think of that’s been the exact same for a full decade- click on a link thinking you’re getting something else, get rick astley instead, and it’s still consistently funny

honestly the funniest thing about the lord of the rings is how gandalf is literally a minor god sent to middle-earth by The Big Man Himself and yet literally nobody apart from the elves seems to recognise this or take him seriously

like yeah gandalf is pretty grumpy most of the time but how would YOU feel if you were the fantasy equivalent of an angel and a bunch of people who only come up to your knee were just like “oh fuck it’s that spooky old wizard” every time you showed up for a friend’s birthday party

That’s what it’s like to be the queer cousin at the family reunion

that one extremely homoerotic painting of a babylonian man listening to a babylonian twink playing babylonian harp. that one

this is my favorite painting full stop

that “babylonian twink” is King David

The baffled twink composing Hallelujah

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

When I was working at a Thai restaurant one summer I heard the guys in the kitchen talk/yelling (it’s a kitchen, so… loud) and I thought I heard my name so I stuck my head through the door and asked if they’d called me, and they all stopped and stared for a really long moment and then started laughing like crazy. Turns out my name sounds exactly like the Thai word for garbage.

Language barriers: a source of unlimited hilarity since the evolution of vocal cords.