more fun than your body has room for

can you stop going up and down for a sec

oh sorry my fault actually. i was jumping and i forgot

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

Check out this CD I burned. (Puts it in my car radio and plays it and it's just a medium quality recording of you coughing)

Now, your resume says you spent seven years as a “sex wizard”

Currently boiling Three count em Three baby carrots to feed my bugs because one person on reddit said their bugs liked that 👍

Apple has announced a new emoji of a little gay guy getting fucked in the butthole by a big gay guy and an emoji of a big gay guy getting fucked in the butthole by a little gay guy

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

There should be cigarettes made from night time

"drug seeking" as a patient one of the most dogshit stupid concepts of all time. fuuuck everybody look out this guy came in here expecting medical treatment. better watch out in case he goes to a restaurant and starts food seeking

combine eight pieces of UNCLE TECH SCRAP to create one random UNCLE DEVICE