I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

*uses an em dash and a colon in the same sentence* we're done when i say we're done.

yes teenage girls can be dramatic and wild but honestly have u ever even seen what happens when u tell a grown man ‘no’

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

Hey Potato, cure my -ing cold so I can have a good time while away.

Here's the potato. Make what use of it you will. :)

hey no worries lol that just hurt my feelings forever

I can’t sleep, I have to torture myself psychologically

nvm i’ve said too much #unknowme

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

so ive been thinking again and it's not going great

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

the horrors persist but my friends write beautiful fanfic

I know it is a privilege to feel things deeply but what the fuck