Welcome to my coffee shop! Here you can find decaf coffee, good tea, spiked coffee, and any beverage that comes to mind.
Take a seat and check what I can offer.
Think you have seen me before? Here you can find my little mishap!
â§âËâ âď¸â§âË â About me and the blog...
27yo. | Proudly Mexican. | Introvert forced to be an extrovert. | Bisexual. | Married. |
NSFW | +18 MDNI |
This whole account is not a safe place for minors. Please refrain from interacting if you are ageless or a minor. Mind the tags in each post and works.
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âď¸á°.á My menu...
Here, you can find my own work, which comes in a variety of styles.
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ââď¸Ë My faves...
(soon) Here, you can find my own taste in drinks. Drink them if we have similar tastes!
About my tags...
#bdlwrites â You can find my works!Â
#bdltbr â You can find things I want to read!
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Extras!
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@saradika-graphics â Shout out to the blog that owns the almost full decoration of my blog.
@kileyking â My one and only. Beta reader, mastermind, say hi to her. If you follow me, you will see a lot of her!
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After what feels like an eternity of talking about it, planning it, tweaking it, and probably spending way too long staring at purple pixels⌠the 800 Followers Celebration is finally unlocked!
Yes, it took me a while. Weâre calling that extended development time and moving on. đ
More than anything, Iâd really love for this to be a chance to interact with more of you, so please donât be shy about joining in. Pick your quest, roll the dice, hit start, and come play with me.
I promise I donât bite.
I can, however, make you cry with some carefully selected angst. That feature is unfortunately permanently enabled.
Youâll have until the end of the month to send in your participation/messages, so thereâs plenty of time to explore the menu and decide what you want to play. đ
Achievement unlocked: 800 of you somehow decided to stick around.
Now letâs have some fun. đžâ¨
đŽ OPEN TO EVERYONE
đ˛ Random Encounter - Fic Request
Let RNG build your request for you.
First, spin the wheel: it will randomly choose both the character and the genre of your fic - angst, fluff, or whatever other chaos I decided to put in there.
Then, use the prompt generator. It will pull one sentence at random from a list of prompts.
Put the two results together and voilĂ : thatâs your fic request.
For example:
Send me the combination you get, and Iâll take it from there. đŽ
Bucky Barnes - Angst
+
âI thought you werenât coming back.â
And because even RNG should respect consent, if you land on a character, genre, or prompt you really donât want, you can reroll. This is a celebration, not a punishment. đ
đšď¸ Build Mode - Build an AU / Headcanons
Give me a character and a few building blocks, and Iâll turn them into an AU, a set of headcanons, or a little concept for you.
You can send things like a trope, a setting, an occupation, a relationship dynamic, an object, a vibe, or even a completely ridiculous idea you want to see me make sense of.
For example: Bucky + coffee shop + enemies to lovers + one bed.
Think of it as giving me the pieces and letting me build the game world around them.
đŹ Dialogue Option - Ask the Writer
Welcome to the part of the game where you get to interrogate the developer.
You can ask me anything about my fics, AUs, characters, writing choices, abandoned ideas, future plans, behind-the-scenes details, or things youâve always wondered about while reading one of my stories.
Want to know what a character was thinking during a particular scene? Whether I considered a completely different ending? Which character gave me the biggest headache?
This is your chance to ask.
đ Dev Commentary - Directorâs Commentary
Choose a specific scene, paragraph, line, or moment from one of my stories and send it to me.
Iâll give you the behind-the-scenes commentary: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I made certain choices, details or foreshadowing you may have missed, alternate versions I considered, or anything else hiding behind the finished scene.
Basically: DVD commentary, but for fic.
And possibly with significantly more rambling.
đ MUTUALS ONLY: BONUS CONTENT UNLOCKED
đźď¸ Custom Loadout - Moodboard Request
Mutuals get access to the customization menu. đ
Send me a character, ship, OC, AU, fic, trope, or general concept and Iâll create a moodboard inspired by it.
You can give me a specific aesthetic, colors, season, location, song, quote, or overall vibe if you have something particular in mind - or you can give me complete creative freedom and see what happens.
Yes, purple requests are particularly welcome. Obviously.
đ Player Match - MCU Matchmaker
Send me a little bit about yourself and Iâll match you with an MCU character.
Tell me whatever youâre comfortable sharing: your personality, hobbies, likes and dislikes, habits, love language, biggest green flag, biggest red flag, ideal date, or simply a handful of random facts about yourself.
Then choose your game mode:
Iâll pick your match and tell you exactly why I think the two of you would work - or, in some cases, spectacularly fail.
đ Romantic Match - who would fall for you
𫶠Best Friend - your ride-or-die
âď¸ Nemesis - who you would absolutely clash with
đĽ Bad Decision - incredible chemistry, questionable consequences
đ Domestic Ending - who youâd somehow end up building a life with
âď¸ GAME RULES: A Few Guidelines
Before you hit Start, just a few things to keep in mind:
đŽ There is no limit to how many times you can participate.
You can send as many messages as you want, whether you want to stick to one category or try several of them. Go wild. đ
This applies to fic requests, Build Mode, Matchmaker, moodboards, and anything else included in the celebration.
đž For every category, I will only work with the following characters:
Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Thor, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Pietro Maximoff, and Sam Wilson.
đ§ŠPlease start your message with the emoji corresponding to your chosen category, itâll help me keep everything organized!
đŤ No DDNE content.
As a general rule, there will be no Dead Dove: Do Not Eat content on my blog. Darker themes, angst, violence, or heavier subjects may occasionally appear when appropriate, but there are lines I simply wonât cross.
đ And, as always, please keep things respectful. This event is meant to be fun for everyone, including me.
Tagging a few of my lovely mutuals who might want to join the game - absolutely no pressure, of course. đđŽ
I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end⌠but on a Wednesday in a cafÊ, I watched it begin again.
pairing: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x reader
word count: 28.9 k
summary: after a messy divorce, you try to find yourself again in a new townâbetween streets smelling of salt and sun, workshops and a pond full of boats slowly mending, life starts showing you that beginnings aren't always loud; sometimes they're just the world asking you to try again.
warnings: +18 MDNI! explicit sexual content/ implied smut â divorce trauma, PTSD mentions, angst, hurt/comfort, mention of cheating (by ex husband), mentions of grief, slow burn, fluff, domestic fluff, nightmares, panic attacks.
part 1 â autumn When old things fall away. The season of endings, of letting go, of learning that some chapters must close so others can begin.
part 2 â winter When the world grows quiet. A season of healing, fragile beginnings, and learning to survive the cold with someone beside you.
part 3 â spring When everything starts to bloom. New feelings, new roots, and the slow realization that hope can grow again.
part 4 â summer When everything feels alive. The season of warmth, belonging, and choosing the life youâve built.
a/n: I might eventually come back to the finale because itâs bugging me a little + I have some blurbs to be added as well as a special request from my dearest bubu, so hopefully Iâll be updating this soon.
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Summary: After you tell Bucky you're expecting, the Blip happens, now you have to deal with the fact of not knowing if he was just not ready for the commitment or if he blipped.
Author's Note: This came out of a short idea I had, plus a bad day. Enjoy it! This was also for my one and only @kileyking đ¤ she betaread it the first time and she still says it's her favorite.
This is a repost; if you've seen it before, I've added one or two things at the end. Feel free to read it again. I'll also appreciate support to get back to the community I had.
If this is the first time you've read me, I'd love for you to read this post.
You had been on and onâandâoff relationship with Bucky Barnes for the last year; it was not that someone had failed in the relationship, it was more that he tended to pay attention to his selfâdeprecating thoughts. Sometimes he could disappear for a day or two, since he felt a kind of guilt for enjoying having something as good as you.
You knew his past, who The Winter Soldier was, and what he did; he told you everything with details, but he always preferred to keep you the most private thing he could ever have. It was half preservation, half fear. And thatâs why you never met any of his friends, not even Steve Rogers.
And thatâs how you ended up in that positionâalone, pregnant, without information about Buckyâs whereabouts. The Blip came two days after you confessed to Bucky that you were pregnant. You had always worn protection; you weren't irresponsible. He was very clear on the fact that he didnât want childrenâhe didnât feel like someone who could protect a child.Â
Since you both started to get intimate, he was very cautious; it didn't matter how eager he was, how much you pleaded or tried to convince him you were on the pill too, he never went through unless he had condoms.Â
When your period didnât come on time, it was not a very big deal; that happened from time to time, but after the second month with no menstruation, you got suspiciousâand without even letting Bucky know, you took a pregnancy test.
Positive.
You sighed. You knew it was not that simple, you knew that this pregnancy came with a lot of nuances, Bucky always made sure of letting everyone know he was not ready for something like thisâevery time you were in front of a child he created a distance, he never carried your niece or your nephew when he came to see you and you were taking care of them.Â
He had been on and off on some important missions, but he never displayed much information. âThe less you know, the better,â he always said. But somehow you knew this was something bigger, his tired eyes told you something was wrong, you knew the pregnancy didnât arrive in the best moment, not of the relationship, not in his lifeânot in your life.Â
Five years earlier
âWhatâs going on?â He said, taking his jacket off and placing it on a hanger.
âCan you take a seat?âÂ
Your hands were trembling, and you felt cold in your bones.Â
The blood test came back as positive as it could, and the ultrasound didnât lie either. Your reddened eyes burned with the tears you were trying to hold.
âSweetheart, what is going on?â He took your hands and sat you down, his jaw clenched while he tried to read your face.
âI knowâthis is not something you wanted to happen, itâs something we both tried to avoid,â you sighed and started tearing up, âGod, I wish I wasnât this emotional.â
âWhatever thing youâre talking aboutâwe can deal with it together, I know Iâm not the best, but I try my best for you, and that should count for you to believe that I can be reliable.âÂ
Your hiccups didnât let you talk anymoreâand before you could stutter any other thing, you took out the paper and placed it on his hands. He sighed and started reading it. His hands were shakingâyou could swear you saw fear in his eyes. Real fear.Â
âOh.âÂ
It was the only sound that came out of his parted lips. He caressed the paper; his eyes were now closed, his head tilted up.
âHow did this happen?â He mumbled; it was more an internal question that escaped than a real question for you.Â
âIâm sorry, Bucky. I am on the pill, I tried to take it as punctually as possible, thisââ
He shook his head.Â
âNoâthis is not your fault, itâs uhâwell it happened.âÂ
âIt happened?â You said, a kind of disappointed tint came out in your tone.Â
âNo, uhâfuck. Thatâs not what I meant.âÂ
âI knew this was going to happen, Iâgod.âÂ
He stood up, crumpled up the paper, and shoved it in his pocket. âI think I need a minute.â
He had left your apartment without saying any other wordâhis jacket was still hanging on the entrance, the apartment felt cold, you could swear it was freezing, the whole world was dizzy, and you couldnât even process what had happened at that moment.
And that was the last time you saw him after that.Â
It was not something weird coming from him; he used to disappear if he had a rough day, or if he felt he did something horribleâeven if he didnât.
Then, The Blip.Â
It happened like it was nothingâone minute you were talking with someone, and in front of your eyes they disappeared, they turned into literally dustâand you couldnât do anything. They were just gone.Â
And what else could you do? Just wait, just wait and see who had survivedâif âsurvivedâ was the correct word.
A week passed, and the government started to issue statements, even some of The Avengers had been turned into dust, or had âblippedâ as they called it. Â
But Bucky Barnes never appearedâin any list. Not on the list of people who had died fighting against Thanos, not on the people who had blipped.Â
And you accepted it.Â
You accepted he had disappeared into thin airânot literally.Â
You accepted he wasnât coming back and that he had decided all this was not worth it.Â
And you spent the next five years raising a lovely girl, Gwen.Â
She resembled Bucky in every way possible; the older she got, the more she looked like himâshe smiled like him, had his deep blue eyes, and the worst part? Somehow, along the way, her nickname turned into Winnie, which was his motherâs nickname.Â
And she loved itâif you tried to call her Gwen, she would make a whole tantrum, and you would have to correct yourself and call her Winnie.Â
The first year was roughâpeople didnât even know how to navigate in this new world, and you moved in with your sister since she had lost her partner with The Blip. She knew you were dating someone, but didnât meet him, and your niece and nephews were too young to even remember him.
And life was better like thatâno one even mentioned him again, you didnât call his name ever again. Winnieâs father? Gone, deadbeat.Â
In the second year, when things started to settle in the literal world, you and your sister got a job opportunity, the cost of living was lower, you could afford to buy a bigger house for you and her with the three children.Â
The problem was the place. Brooklyn. Fucking Brooklyn.
But, oh well. Life must go on, right?Â
Years passed, you really tried to date, but no one felt like himâeven with his flaws, he was like no one else.Â
You missed everythingâeven after he left. You missed his touch, his sad smile, his blue eyes, the way he always tried not to touch you with his metal arm; he always said you didnât deserve to be touched with something that was created to kill.
You missed how he loved to sleep tangled with you, how he never got off the bed before youâhe never wanted you to feel lonely if he was in the apartment.Â
Was he perfect? Of course not. He tried not to go off on you, but sometimes it happenedâand then he was all apologetic after all.Â
And there you were, work was rough that day, something felt off in the airâyou could swear it felt similar to the day The Blip happened. The street was too quiet, the sky was too clear, something felt oddly similar.Â
You were walking to get Winnie from school when it happenedâsomeone in front of your eyes appeared from thin airâdust all over the place, people running, people coming out of nowhere, and panic began to spread. Your blood ran cold, you went numb, for a split second, you stood frozen, watching people running.Â
But reality hit you hard, and you started to run to get Winnie.Â
The school was no better; everything was a disaster, and students were cryingâthere were at least double the number of people they were used to having in the premises. A teacher recognized you and waved to hand you Winnie. You gripped her hand as hard as you could, you carried her in your arms, and walked as fast as you could to get home.Â
After everything settledâand everything came to an end with ThanosâBucky, Steve, and Sam were on the quinjet, he was sitting on top of an armory box, his hands roaming through the back of his neck to the crown of his head. He sighed and despaired. When his mind could process everything he was told, he understood that nothing was sure.Â
He didnât know anything about youâ nor did Steve know, how could he? He didnât even know you existed in his life.Â
âBuck, I know itâs a lot to processâbut we need to get you checked.â
âNo, I need to find her.â
âTo find who?â Sam asked, furrowing.Â
âMyâfuck, my girlfriend,â he sighed. Sam and Steve sat with their mouths on the floor, âsheâshe was pregnant.âÂ
âWhat the fuck, man?â Sam questioned.Â
âWhy didnât you tell us?âÂ
âItâI was about toâbut all this happened, she told me just two days before we got into this."
When they arrived in New York, Steve took Bucky to your apartment, even when deep down he knew you wouldnât be thereâbut he held a hope you were going to be there.
Nothing.
Then Steve did research, he found you were now living in Brooklyn, he found your address andâyes, he found you had a daughter who was almost five years old.Â
Steve handed him the information, âThis is what I could find. Sheâs very lowâprofile.â
âExactly how I taught her.â He tried to smile, but the photo on the printed page made him feel horrible. You looked slightly older, but you looked so beautiful, you looked mature, you looked like someone so distant and close at the same time.
He started digging more and more until he found where you lived.
There were bikes in the front yardâthree bikes, he assumed you had gotten married and maybe had stepchildren, and a lot of toys could be seen on the porch. The neighborhood reminded him a lot of where he was raised, and he was happy to know you were raising your daughter in such a beautiful place, in such a beautiful house.
How could he blame you if you decided to get married? You probably struggled the first years, and then met him maybe at your workplace, maybe on a quick visit to Brooklynâand then he moved you here.
But even with all those thoughts roaming his head, he didnât dare yet to come in and knock on your door. What was he going to say? âHey, I blipped, and Iâm back. Can I help you with your childâ?
So he started to follow youânot in a psycho way, he really tried to make it the least weird possible. He drove past your house from time to timeâonce he caught a glimpse of like five children, some older, some younger, and he didnât dare to stare at them and catch who your child was, or if any other was yours with someone else.
He didnât tell anyone what was going onâhe just disappeared for hours and then came back as if he hadnât been stalking your house just to see a glimpse of you.Â
But one day he was there, sitting on the corner of your street, something he would do to not be seen that often, creeping on the street.Â
He was so focused on your house that he didnât even notice when Steve leaned on his open window, âShe has a nice house.âÂ
Bucky jumped on his seat; he was sure he was about to have a heart attack.
âFuck, Stevie. Donât do that shit again.â
âMe? Iâm not the one stalking my⌠ex girlfriendâs neighborhood.âÂ
âWerenât you the one who broke into my apartment in Bucharest?âÂ
He chuckled, âMan, you should really go and knock on her door, itâs been a month, if she had any hope of you being blipped at this point, sheâs probably sure you ran away.â Â
âI need more timeâif at this point she already hates me, a month or a day wonât make any difference.âÂ
And three weeks later, he found the strength to be in front of youâSteve was three houses down, leaning outside the car, and Bucky was in front of your door.Â
His hands were shaking; he didnât even know how to start the conversation.Â
He knocked three times and waitedâyour voice came through the door.
âComing!âÂ
And when you opened the door, your heart fell to your feet. You felt cold; you could swear the floor under your feet was shaking.Â
James Buchanan Barnes.
He was in front of you after almost five years of going MIAâand he looked exactly the sameâdid that mean that he had blipped? But it had been almost two months since everyone had come back. Why didnât he come before?Â
âBucky?âÂ
His name came out of your mouth like a prayer; you couldnât even feel your body at that moment. He couldnât speak either.
You sighed, touching your chest, caressing it slowly, tears welling in your eyes, âWhat are you doing here?âÂ
He didnât even say anythingâhe just moved closer, cutting the distance to hug you, both hands gripping your shirt from your back. You really tried to stop yourself, but smelling that woodsy scent once again after five years was too much to handle, was enough to tear your walls down.Â
Your face was buried on his chest, tears fighting to leave your eyesâhe was stroking your hair with that softness he had always had when it was about you. And then, a sudden noise made you both come back to reality
âMommy! Are you ready to play?â Winnieâs voice echoed through the hallway. Bucky stood frozen. You cut the hug and knelt in front of her.
âCan you give mommy a minute? Aâfriend came to visit,â Bucky didnât allow himself to look at the child, he didnât feel worthy of it, âDo you want to introduce yourself?â
âHi!â She said, looking up at him, âIâm Winnie.âÂ
That nicknameâhe bit his lip hard, âHiâWinnie, Iâm Bucky.â
âAre you Bucky Barnes?â She asked with that wiggly voice she had.Â
âUhâyes,â he looked at you, and you shook your head, you really didnât know how she knew who he was.Â
âHow do you know, sweetie?â You asked, still kneeling in front of her.
âWe read about superheroes this week! And he was thereâhe's a friend of Captain America!âÂ
Both of you chuckled, âYeahâyeah. I'm a friend of Captain America.âÂ
âHoney, what about you go with Auntie, and after that we can play?â She nodded and waved goodbye to Bucky.âÂ
âBye, Bucky! Nice to meet you.â
He nodded, âNice to meet you, too, Winnie.âÂ
And then she wiggled back down the hallway.
âI would highly recommend going out before the rest of the kids come.âÂ
He laughed and nodded. You closed the door behind youâthree houses down, Steve waved at you shyly.
âOhââ You felt the rush you used to feel when you were about to get caught five years ago.Â
âNo. He knows⌠everything.â
âThereâs a park one block away,â you said, and he gestured to make you lead the way.
When you sat on a bench, your knees touched for a moment, you felt a lot of things at the same time, and you couldnât decide which one you wanted to feel completely.
âSoââ
âLook, I know it looks horribleâSteve told me he asked for me not to be announced as blipped since my legal status was still complicated, he didnât know you existedâif he had known he would have looked for you and taken care of you, Iâdonât know what youâve been through, and you probably felt like I ran awayâŚâ
âYesâbasically thatâs what Iâve been saying and thinking for the last five years.â Â
âSo, Winnie?â He asked, smiling, and a tint of nostalgia could be seen.
âHer nameâs Gwen, someone in school called her Winnieâsheâs been Winnie since she was three, you canât call her otherwise, or she will be pissed.âÂ
He chuckled, âWell, I refused to be called James most of my lifeâI guess it was my payback, but you received it.âÂ
His laugh made you tremble. You didnât even remember it before todayâit was good to have the blessing of hearing it again.
âI really want to do things right, you know?â He gazed down, âbut I will do whatever you wantâIf you got married, I get it, it was five years. If your husband is her dad, I will have to live with it.â
âWaitâwhy do you assume I got married?âÂ
âWell, I saw three bikes on your front.â
âBucky, those are my nieceâs and nephewâs, we live togetherâwell, I guess things are going to change now, her husband came back too.â
âOh,â he paused for a moment, âwhat did you tell Winnie about her father?âÂ
âThat he passed away, it was easier to lie than to confront life and explain you had run away because you were afraid.âÂ
You were ashamed; you couldnât believe what you were saying at that moment.
âHey, look at me,â he placed his hand on your knee, and you looked at him, âwhatever thing you had done, said, or liedâit was for the best.âÂ
âI shouldâve thought you blipped, I shouldâve looked for Steve, but I was afraid no one would believe meâImagine it? A crazy lady out of nowhere on the Stark Tower âHey, Iâm Buckyâs girlfriend, and Iâm pregnant with his child, and you have no option but to believe me.â God, sounds ridiculous.âÂ
âTo be fairâI was terrified, I never thought of running away, but I didnât know what I was going to do.âÂ
âAnd what do you want to do now?â You asked, looking at him.Â
He sighed, his flesh hand cupping your chin, âIf you let meâkiss you, Iâve missed you these months like an idiot.â
You nodded, and he didnât wait longerâhe closed the distance and kissed you. It was tender, but you could feel the yearning behind it.Â
He missed you for a couple of months, but you tried to continue your life without him for five years. That kiss was everything you thought you would never feel again.
General taglist: @maplesyrizzup @wickedfun9 @herejustforbuckybarnes @w1nter-fairy @sassandscribbles @globetrotter28 @buckysouvenir @singulartoast @buckybsdoll @mathcat345 @elliestwoleftfingerss @biaswreckedbybuckybarnes @phoenix-in-writing @onyx8514 @shitbewild @idkbeautiful @misswhiddless @buckybarneswife08 @beefybuckyplease @maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals +add yourself to my tag list!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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All my stories are R18. IÂ write smut, and I may touch sensitive topics or topics that are not intended to be read by minors.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN CONTENT CONSUMPTIONS.
Masterlist
Pairing: '40s!Bucky Barnes x '40s Nurse F!Reader
Warning/Tags: Canon Divergence, Bucky is a menace, Angst, Smut (Porn with Plot!), Breeding kink, Heavy on historical inaccuracies, Military Inaccuracies, Cheating (Everyone cheats on everyone, okay?), Public Sex (Lots of it), Unprotected Sex and its obvious consequences, Happy Ending. If I'm missing any tag, I'll add them later.
Word Count: ~10.5k ('40s bucky does things to me)
Summary: Even when you have someone waiting for you at home, you start to fall for Bucky, and when you go back home to get married, he keeps reminding you that your heart is now somewhere else.
Author's Note: IT'S HERE! AND I LOVE THIS FOR ME. If you know me enough you know Sgt. Barnes has a very big piece of my heart. And after my series, 40's Bucky was my first fic ever posted. And if you ask, why my 40s Bucky always has something to do with Breeding kinks, eloping, running away, and getting someone knocked up... ask my ovulation. Thank you to my one and only for beta-reading this @kileyking and of course to my babiesss @w1nter-fairy @herejustforbuckybarnes! Love you three so much!
Nurse Williams is folding linens next to you as you finish writing down some reports on earlier patients. You see him walking in with another soldier, dragging his feet while he carries him on his shoulders.
âGood morning, sergeant.â You look up at him as you leave your paperwork on the makeshift desk. âWhat brings Johnson around now?â
Bucky scoffs, âHeâs got a new sprain.â
You grumble. âBring it over. Let me assess him.â
You are humming a song that you heard just a few months before the doctor who had trained you for months asked you to join the Army Nurse Corps.
âIâll Never Smile Again?â Bucky asks as he leans on the desk. Nurse Williams looks at you, smiling.
âYes, sir.â You mumble in response as you treat Johnsonâs injury.
âWilliams, could you bring some cold patches? You can find them in the infirmary depot.â
But before she can leave, Bucky yells, âBrown.â A man chimes in immediately. âCan you take this lady to the med depot?â
He nods, and both of them walk away. âMy partner is very capable of going on her own.â You look at him.
âAnd our squad is highly trained on never leaving our nurses alone.â
You scoff and look at Johnson. âJohnson, this is the last time I patch you up today. If you come back again, Iâll report you for slacking.â
The blond opens his mouth, surprised.
As you are furrowing, creating pressure with a bandage on his foot, Bucky finally notices.
You two go way further back than he thought.
âYouâre from Brooklyn Heights, right?â Bucky leans in and fixes his eyes on you. âWe met in high school. Youâre the Lieutenantâs daughter, arenât ya?â
âIn the flesh,â You mumble as you pat Johnsonâs back. âYouâre dismissed. Please be careful, and find Williams; ask her for that cold patch. When you finish your daily duties, elevate it and press it with that.â
Johnson turns to see Bucky, who tilts his head to leave you both alone. He rushes to the door and disappears immediately.
âAnd whatâs the daughter of a Lieutenant doing as a nurse?â
âDealing with cocky men.â You sigh as you look at him, already fed up.
He lifts his hands in feigned surrender. âI'll leave you alone, Miss Nurse.â
âThank you so much, Sergeant Barnes.â
He finally leaves the tent youâre settled in, and Williams walks in.
âSo, you and Barnes?â She looks at you, and you just roll your eyes at her.
âJust childhood neighbors.â
âHe seems interestedâŚâ Mockingly, she adds.
âHe seems interested in anyone wearing a skirt.â
âHeâs not. Leiny has been trying to shoot her shot with him, and he doesnât even bat an eye at her.â
âBecause sheâs being easy. They never like their girls like that.â
Williams scoffs and continues her folding duties.
The worst? That only leads to Bucky getting caught up on you. You now have all his attention, and he is ready to show you how persistent he can be.
When you finally finish your shift and you are ready to go to your quarters, where you share space with the rest of the nurses on duty, you donât see the soldier whoâs assigned to take you to your quad and bring the night nurse here.
You are waiting for him at a station when you hear his very easily recognizable voice on your back.
âNight, Miss Nurse.â
âGood Night, Sergeant.â
âSeems Iâll be the one taking you to your quads tonight.â
âHow exciting.â You say as you start walking. He follows you a few steps behind.
âCâmon, sweetheart! Iâm not that badâŚâ He pleads as he walks behind you. âJust a chance⌠get to know me.â
You sigh and look at him. In the light of the moon, he doesnât seem so cocky. Somehow, he looks even sweeter. You can still notice those features you saw when you both lived in a base when your fathers shared a station.
âWhatâya want, Barnes? We havenât even talked in years⌠and the fact that we are sharing now⌠again⌠base, itâs just because our parents decided to stay in Brooklyn.â
âI promise I just⌠want to be friendly. Just that.â
You sigh and look at him. âBarnes⌠I have a boyfriend. Heâs in a different division, so anything you try will be worthless. Do you still want to keep being friendly?â
He scoffs a laugh. âJust friends.â
He is being honest. Or at least, he is trying. His intention is not to fall for youâbut every time he brings you one of his peers, or slides a chocolate into your hands when no one is looking, he falls a little bit more.
Or, every time he pats the spot next to him he saved just for you, and you roll your eyes just to go through and sit by his side. The way he notices you are slightly softer when you are patching him up, or the way you scold him because he was being reckless in the training and got injured.
For weeks, everyone teases him about how he is basically your guard dog when he is not following his Captainâs orders, or how every time the quarters are threatened, you are his first thought and how he can protect you from getting injured.
And you are not doing any better.
Every time you learn his convoy left for a mission, you get anxious. You donât even fake anymore that you are still waiting for Joshâs letters.
And he notices, too.
In the first weeks, you used to run to the mailman, who gave you the letterâor notâof the week.
The last two weeks? You even forgot it was delivery day, and your girlfriends have brought you your letters.
He says nothing. He does not want to pressure you. But he loves the way that now your hands linger a little longer on his armâthe way you soothe his uniform after you patch him up.
One night, the girls from your infirmary station and you are sitting at a bonfire; it is one of those moments where your nurse in charge allows you to feel a kind of normalcy that war doesnât exactly offer.
âSo, Sergeant BarnesâŚâ Nilda Williams finally says, and the other three nurses fix their eyes on you.
âWhat?â You roll your eyes.
âCâmon! We all have seen how you two interact.â Adeline adds. âAnd heâs so⌠soft with you.â
You grunt, âGirls⌠Iâve got someone waiting for meâŚâ
âSomeone who you havenât responded to in weeksâŚâ Nilda mumbles. âIâm just saying⌠Youâre waiting for a man who you donât even know if heâs coming back⌠and you got Barnes hereâŚâ
Your eyes snap open. âWhat are you implying? That I should⌠just be unfaithful to Josh?â
âIt wonât be cheating if he⌠doesnât knowâŚâ Lilian says softly, âAnd⌠letâs be honest⌠Do you think he is not over there⌠flirting with a cute nurse?â
âWell, I hope heâs notâŚâ The three girls snort a laugh, and you furrow. âDo you really think heâs flirting with a nurse over there?â
âSweetheart, heâs not even sure heâll survive the next missionâhe wonât be wasting time on someone whoâs not thereâŚâ
âWhat the eyes donât see⌠the heart doesnât feelâŚâ
And that thought sticks in your mind. You want to think Josh is a good man; you want to think he will never do something like thatâbut you have seen it with your own eyes. The three girls in front of you have fraternized with soldiers; they have relationships that will last as long as the tour lastsâin their own words.
After that night, you decide to throw a bone to him, just to see what can happen.
Bucky notices.
He notices how you start to laugh more at his jokes; the way you accept his invitations to eat next to him more than you did before.
One night, you are waiting for the man in charge to take you to your quarters when you see him coming with a grin on his face.
âI thought your night was yesterday.â You shout when he gets closer.
âI called in some favors.â He smugly says. He offers his arm to you, and for the first time, you hook your arm with his.
The night is cold, and you both know you are not supposed to fraternize, but after some hours, after some days, every boundary set by your higher-ups has been blurred into nothing. No one sees, no one speaks.
âHowâs Josh?â Bucky asks, teasingly rather than interested.
âFine, I guess⌠We havenât written too much the last few weeks.â
Liar. You havenât responded, and he stopped writing so often.
The light from the lamps starts to fade, and you are now at that spot where the only light that comes is from the moon. He looks down at you, and his blue eyes pierce through your soul. He can notice your cheeks are heatedâthe colors running through themâand for the first time he finally notices what you are doing.
âIf it werenât you, Iâd think you were flirting with me.â He husks, placing a hand over your hand holding his arm.
You purr a laugh. âAnd what if I told you I was doing exactly that?â
He cocks an eyebrow and stops in his tracksâyou feel it, you feel how his arm tenses on your hand, and before you can ask what is going on, you feel his arm getting loose on your grip and finding your hand to guide you into a darker place between two shelters used for the injured men who needed to rest.
He grips your waist, his hands crumpling your white uniform as your hands find his shirt, pulling him closer.
âAnd Iâm sure that if you were flirting, I could do this with no problem.â He crowds over you and grazes his lips on yours.
âAnd what if I were flirting?â He scoffs, warm air stroking your lips, then he finally meets your lips and kisses youâfirst carefully, like someone tasting the waters.
His chest rising up and down, hands enticing your hips on his, as his mouth keeps mooching yours fiercely.
You are getting lost in the feeling of his hands traveling over your uniform as he gropes your hips. Lips devouring yours, trying not to grunt between kissesâknowing well he would have to surrender for any disciplinary actions just to cover both your asses.
When your mind finally cleared up, you pushed him slowlyânot in a heated way, something more desperate, trying to make clear you were not offended, ratherâwanting to be careful.
âWaitâŚâ He mumbles, pulling you closer again. âIâm leaving tomorrow⌠and I wonât be back in a few daysâŚâ
He is staring at you carefully, pleading⌠and even in the moment, you know he is not even overreacting. Both of you know that every time he leaves for a patrol, it is almost uncertain if he will come back. So, you do it. You yank him by the collar of his shirt to a tent you know well is never used. Not because of anything in particular, but rather because the nurses call it âThe Love Shelterâ. A tent used for side quests and secret endeavors.
There, completely amused, he continues his task, his mouth finding your lips, and he sits on the cot; you feel like he is worshiping you in a way no one has done before. His hands fondle your thighs, and in a heated moment, he rips your stockings to grant himself better access. He pulls you down and sits you on his lap, leaning over the bed, finally unzips his uniform, and with extreme eagerness draws his cock from his briefs.
He looks up at you, trying to find approval to go on. You nod and eagerly kiss him. His calloused hands sink into you to pull you down on his cock. He pounds from below; his hips jostling to find a solace he has been deprived of.
Muffling every sound you make, you sink your teeth into his shoulder; he mewls a cry, gripping your back, bucking his hips as he fucks you like this is the last time he can enjoyâbecause maybe this is really the last time he can get to see you.
âIf I come backâŚâ He growls in your ear. âGotta promise me Iâll have more of this.â
âWhen you come backâŚâ You correct him. âIâm gonna give you all you want, Sergeant.â
He pinches his eyes closed as he drives you down once again; your hands anchor his shoulders as he jolts you on his cockâyou find his lips to strangle a cry that is stuck in your throat. When you finally reach your peak, you bite the crook of his neck, whining and cryingâyou have been in the base for so long that you have forgotten how good it feels to have someone doing you.
âDoes he do it like this?â The question brings you back to the harshness of his hands in your body, to the way your body squirms under his touch.
âNo,â You cry out. âHe doesnât.â
He smiles at your response.
âNeeda' cum.â He hoarsens in your ear as he pulls out; you can feel his thick cock twitching as it spurts thick warm ropes of cum.
He is panting in your ear; his hands hold you tight from your waist as he pulls you closer to his chest. âThank you, thank you.â
You titter, âWhy are you thanking me?â
He shakes his head. ââCause Iâm glad you let me have this before I have to leave.â
âYouâre ridiculous.â You roll your eyes and try to stand up.
âWhere are you going?â He grips your waist.
âBarnes⌠Not sure if you have forgottenâbut we are both on duty.â He grunts and helps you down. âAt what time do you leave?â
âEarly in the morning. I donât think Iâll see you.â He admits with a hint of pain in his voice. You try not to bite your lip, and he smirks. âCan I have a goodbye kiss?â
You tip on your toes and kiss him for the last time. You finally try to fix the last drop of dignity you have left after literally pulling him into the tent and letting him have his way with you.
Two days go by, and youâre almost positive he is not coming back. You know it too well; you can feel it in the air. And the rest of the nurses try to comfort youâthey all try to make you believe he is strong enough to endure whatever the enemy is putting him through.
And what are you supposed to do with all the pain in your chest? You are not even supposed to fraternize with themâlet alone to develop something this way.
Three more days later, a convoy races through the place; all hands on deck are called inâyou have faithâyou really do.
And he comes out from one of the vehicles; he is all wound up, and you run to the litter. A soldier is rushing to carry him; you instruct them to take him to your tentâand when he finally focuses and sees you, he smiles through the pain.
You scowl at him and try to keep your attention on the summary of his injuries as your fellows run to help other soldiers.
By the time he is stabilized, you start to write down a record as he lies on the cot. He grunts in pain once the painkillers are wearing off.
âHow bad am I?â He mumbles through the grunts.
âUnfortunately, enough to survive. Just some scratches, Sergeant.â You finally look up at him, and he is still facing up. âA penny for your thoughts?â
âThought Iâd never see you again.â
âTold you you were coming back, Barnes. You owe me things.â You snort a laugh.
And that was enough; you both knew you were not going anywhere without the other anymore. You both were tired of pretending to be nonchalant, and not even twelve hours later, he got you on top of himâhe was grunting, and you were not sure if it was from the pain or the pleasure, but every time you tried to stop, he made you resume your movements.
âSergeant⌠Iâm gonna need to patch you up again if you keep doing this.â You mumble.
The noise outside muffles your voices enough.
Everyone outside is celebrating their comeback. You know well you are probably not the only nurse in this same scandalous situation; you know well, at least, Nilda is in this same position with a soldier in the tent next to yours. You saw them earlier sneaking into the tent just before you did the same with Bucky.
âItâs great that I got the prettiest nurse to patch me up as many times as needed.â His cock draws and slams into you, and that makes you roll your eyes. âLook at you, and you werenât even open to look my way.â
âThatâs because Iâm takenââ your voice comes out brokenâalmost like a cry.
He scoffs the dirtiest laugh ever and slams again. âYou donât seem to be taken right now.â
You place your hands over his mouth, and he laughs again.
Time passes by, and boundaries and lines faded away weeks ago. No one really cares enough at this point, and Bucky is almost parading you all over the placeâother soldiers are well aware that you are âhis girlâ, and no one ever messes with you anymore.
Then, the letter came by.
You are not even aware until your boss pulls you aside.
âYour father sent a letter.â She hands you the paper. âJosh is back home, and he wants to get you dismissed by the end of the week.â
Greenaway is a young veteran nurseâas you all call herâshe knows the show, and knows well that you are having something with Bucky. Not that she cares; she did the same when she was young, but now, widowed and married again, she is not seeking a new man anymore.
âHe wants me to get marriedâŚâ Greenaway nods.
âIâve seen this before, and he called on some favors; you are leaving next convoy tomorrow morning.â She sounds apologetic.
âTomorrow morning?â You snap unintentionally at her.
âItâs the most time I could get you⌠I⌠called on some favors tooâŚâ Her voice is soft, like she is trying to make up for an inconvenience. âBarnes will be at dusk in the thing you all use as a private room.â
âDoes he know?â Greenaway shakes her head.
âThatâs on you, kid.â
âThank you, Greenaway.â She smiles, his lips not even reaching her eyes.
âNurse,â She says before you start to walk out, âDonât rush yourselvesâI took care of everything.â You smile back almost in the same way.
Later that night, you are sitting on the cot, scratching your fingers enough to pull some skin with a blood drop when he finally walks in.
âHow much are you gonna owe Greenaway after this?â He starts to unbutton his uniform; he doesnât even waste a minute before his chest is finally exposed in front of you. You smile and try to hide the tears you have been holding.
He finally towers over you and pulls up your uniform; his buttoned-down shirt exposes the dog tags that dangle from his chest, making you weak in the knees.
His finger finds the hem of your underwear and pulls it aside, then you remind yourself of Greenawayâs words. âDonât rush yourselvesâŚâ
âWaitâŚâ You softly interrupted.
âWhat?â
âCan you⌠Can we take all our clothes off?â He snaps his head in surprise, but nods immediately.
âDo we have the time for this?â You nod at him.
He kneels and carefully gets rid of his shirtâyou sit and start to unbutton your dress; he starts to help you when his shirt is completely out of sight.
You look at him as if he were the most beautiful thing your eyes have landed onâbecause, to be fair, at the moment, he is. Your clothes lie on the floor as you finally notice him as a whole, and it is the first time you both get to see each other completely exposed, and you are loving every moment.
Your lungs are filled with musk and dust, a faint scent of his now worn-off soap and the sweat covering his bodyâit is not even a smell you particularly like, but when he is the one wearing it, it feels right to have your nose full of it. It feels like the only thing you would like to smell for the rest of your life, given the chance.
His hand falls on your hips, finally making you lower and sit on the cot once again. He towers over you, and you can feel every inch of skin gazing at yoursâand you even let yourself think for at least a second about the life you could have had if it were a different situation.
When you finally come back to your senses, you notice one hand is holding you by the waist and his other hand is jerking his cock, his eyes are not even fixed on your most sensitive spotâthey are fixed on your eyes, and even when he doesnât want to admit it, he is growing fond of every moment near you. Every time your shoulder bumps into his in the kitchen area, or every time he runs to you to get patched, and every time he slides into youâhe feels like heaven; he feels like every time he goes to patrol, it is worth it if he comes back to you.
He slams into you, his mouth muffles every moan in your lips, and his hands grip tight in your waist, like he wants to pull you closer and become one. His hands try to grasp at every part of you he can. Tracing paths on your arms, gripping your waist, even groping your breasts, even when you let out a giggle every time he does it.
And then, you realize.
It is literally the last time you will ever feel this in your life.
Not even because you are leaving, but because you are leaving to marry your actual boyfriend.
A tear starts to run down your cheek, and even before you try to hide it, you feel his hand soothing your cheekâhis hips stop their pace until he is only looking at you.
âDonât stop,â You cry out. âPlease donât.â
âYouâreâŚâ Shaking your head, you straddle his waist, pulling him deeper.
Nodding, he starts to pump yet again; his hand is still soothing every tear that is falling, as he kisses the crown of your head every time he thrusts.
When you feel that indistinctly twitching on his cock, you know he is about to come, you have learned each otherâs body now, and he knows he has taught your body to follow his leadâthe heat in your core starts to grow and travel to your lower stomach, and before you can even control your body, you straddle himâyour legs creating a lock on his back, and he wants to resist. He knows he has to do it, but he canât, and starts to pump you full. And you know it is wrong too; if this sticks, you are fucked, because now youâre not sure if you can go back home and let Josh touch you the way Bucky has been doing it for the past month.
He lets his body go stiff over you. Your legs are still locked in his back, and now you soothe him, stroking his back delicately. He chuckles softly and looks at you.
âIf the Nazis donât kill me, your father will if you get pregnant, you know that? What are you gonna say when they dismiss you, and you go back home all round with someoneâs baby but not your boyfriendâs?â
And you start to break down; you know he is not doing it on purpose. He is teasing. But oh, if it hurts.
âNo, goddamn. I'm an idiot, sweetheart. Thatâs not what I meantâŚâ He rushes to soothe your tears.
âJamesâŚâ You cry out, and he hurries to hug you.
âNo, baby. You know Iâll respond to your father if something ever happens⌠I wonât let you be alone; Iâm not that kind of manâŚâ
âJames⌠please listen to meâŚâ You are finally able to form a sentence. He looks at you; his eyes are growing worried. âIâm leaving at dawn in the first convoy.â
âWhat do you mean?â He stops and holds you by your shoulders. âWhat are you even talking about?â
âMy father called in some favors because Josh is back in townâŚâ
Bucky sighs. He knows well what it means. He has seen it before. He blinks twice before he tugs you to his chest. âYouâre gonna be the most beautiful bride in all of Brooklyn.â
You canât see it, but Bucky is staring blankly as he kisses the crown of your head. He wants to tell you not to go, to dismiss your father and stay here with him. But at least in Brooklyn you will be safe and have a future.
âYouâre a sweet coincidence, sweetheart. And I loved that I got the chance to have you at least for a while, but we both knew you werenât mine.â
The night washes over you as Bucky explores your body once and twice; his calloused hands graze every inch of skin as he pecks your face, your neck, his tongue exploring your breasts, swirling his tongue in your nipplesâhe took every minute he had in his hands to let your body know his touchâthe coat groaning with every movement Bucky inflicts in you. It burns your inside; it burns the way you know you will be touching another manâs body and thinking about him.
The morning comes with the first soldiers getting ready for their roundsâvoices of Generals guiding, Nurses walking to change shifts, and you start to wake up. You notice Bucky is tangled around your legs, his hands holding you close.
You hear Nurse Greenaway ordering outside, âNext Convoy leaves in three hours.â
She announces to the nurse who is walking next to her, and you know it is your signal. You look up at Bucky, who is sleeping so peacefully that you feel bad for waking him upâhe has probably not slept this well in a hell of a time.
âBuckyâŚâ You mumble, tracing paths on his chest. âYou need to get going.â
He mumbles something and pulls you closer, and you giggle.
âCâmon, Sergeant. I donât think Greenaway can give us more than this.â He grunts and sets you free.
He finally sits on the edge of the cot. âI guess Iâll see you if I survive the Nazis⌠and youâll be the most beautiful wife of another man.â
He stands up and starts to gather his own things when heâs finally ready. He looks at you and smiles for the last time.
âBuckyâŚâ
âTake care, Sunshine.â
And your heart pangs in your chest. You know this is how it is supposed to endâthere is no way to have a happy ending on this one.
When you finally get home, your father is waiting for you in the station. He is talking about things you are not paying much attention to. He is probably explaining how excited you should feel about being back home and getting ready to finally marry Josh. How Miss DeLauren, the most famous seamstress in town, is already ready to start with the fitting appointmentsâand you just nod and smile at his words. Just the bare minimum for him not to notice you are not even understanding half his words.
Your house looks exactly the sameâand your mother looks eagerly happy to have you there. She has always been fond of Josh, and it was her dream to see you married to him.
âAnd Josh?â You finally ask when you notice not even a trace is seen.
âOh, poor soul had to run some errands with his father out of town, but they will be back soon. Donât worry; in the meantime, we will be preparing things so when he comes back you will be ready.â
It is at that moment when you try to remember why you are with himâyou try to remember to yourself that he is a good manâthat he was probably not the man everyone was describing at the baseâa man who fucked another nurse just as you were fucked by Bucky.
Your father does not even ask how your months at the base were. He was not even happy you had goneâeven when all your neighborhood was proud that you had served your country in a way. He kept insisting that it could be dangerous.
You knew it was not that.
You knew he never wanted you to expose yourself in such a way, but he also knew you were so stubborn and you were never going to follow his words to that extent.
Almost two weeks go by; Josh is still out of town with his fatherâit is just that you understand your father knew he was not going to be back as soon as you were told, but he wanted to be sure you were his to really welcome him. Your first real steps as a wife.
Evenings are spent searching for the best things for your wedding, and that morning is no different; you are walking at Sunset Park with your mother. She is trying to find the best flower shop to arrange your bridal bouquet as well as the decorationsâand as she is talking to an owner, you start to wander around the place. You know it well; you can even see the terminal surrounding the edges.
But something makes your blood run cold.
You see Winnifred, Buckyâs mother, walking with Beccaâhurrying Becca, better said, towards the terminal, and your heart fluttered in your chest.
You walked behind themânot enough to be noticed, but enough to see the platform from afar. You have been walking for what seems like an eternity, and you stand on a corner where the whole place is on display.
Some soldiers are being welcomedâdozens of themâfamilies being reunited, wives waiting for their husbands, children waiting for their father, and then you see Becca running towards a man.
Bucky holds her in the air. His face falls on her shoulder as her mother weeps in front of them, and you stay still. Not even a muscle falters at his sight; you know you can't do it; you canât have the benefit of running towards him and clinging to his neck.
When he finally puts Becca down and is about to hug his mother, he sees you from afar. His face softens for a split second before he hugs his mother tightâand you look away. You turn around and walk quickly to your mother, who is still talking with the lady about the floral arrangements.
The thought lingers in your mind, and you turn around, and you can barely see the platform.
âOh, look at it. It seems some soldiers made it back.â Ophelia, the owner, softens as soon as she notices the cars going back, with some soldiers in the windows cheering up.
âGod bless their souls.â Your mother answers, and you nod in response.
You finally see him; he is walking with Winnie and Becca on each side, smug as he is, proud as he should.
âLook at it, your boy's back.â Your mother cheers at Winnie, who hugs Bucky tighter.
âHealthy and handsome,â Winnie smiles and nudges him to greet you.
âMorning, ladies.â Bucky takes a step and leans; you three do the same.
âGlad to see you back, Sergeant.â You try to keep your stern face.
âYou were the main reason for it to happen,â He says, and you try not to gasp. âShe was the best nurse in charge in my troop, maâ. You gotta see her in action.â
And you get every word; you understand this is only a dagger disguised in colleague praising.
âYou shared base with him?â Your mother looks at you, and you feel the color rocketing on your face.
âYes⌠Yes.â You stutter, âWe shared base.â
âLook at it. Whatâs life? How many times your fathers didnât share base, and now you two did.â Winnie says with a nostalgic hint.
You smile at your mother but notice Bucky has not taken his eyes off you, and you hate it. You hate how affected you are by his staring eyes.
âWell, now we both have to celebrate!â Winnie adds, âYour beautiful daughter is getting married, and my handsome son is back home and not going anywhere ever again.â
âMaââ Bucky scolds, and she just pats his shoulder.
âLots to celebrate! And I really hope to see you three at the wedding.â Your chest, as well as Buckyâs, rise and falls at the mention.
âWe will be honored to be there.â Bucky looks down at you as he answers your mother.
And when the farewells are finally starting, you see Bucky walking with Becca in his arms, and a faint sound comes from his mouth, âIâll never smile again⌠until I smile at youâŚâ
âI thought you hated that song.â Becca looks up at him as he turns slightly back to see you.
âLetâs say itâs an acquired taste.â
And you are left there, a heavy feeling on your shoulders as Bucky walks away with his family in his arms, while your mother resumes her conversation about your upcoming wedding.
Your friends finally take you to celebrate your engagement.
What engagement? You were never asked. Everyone just decided, and you were too cowardly to comment on it.
You are sitting in a soda shop with two of your closest friends. They are all talking about different things as you try to keep up with all the conversations.
âWait, weâve been here for hours and she,â Kate points at you, âhasnât told us anything about her overseasâŚâ
You chuckle and shake your head. âNothing interesting, just patching up wounded soldiers, bad sleeping, worse uniform. What can I tell you?â
âOh, câmon!â Sara chimes in. âMy cousin served as a nurse too, and she told me every nurse there slept with one soldierâŚâ
You feel your cheeks getting heated. âYou all know me well; thatâs not my type of thing. Besides, I knew I was going back home to get married to Josh.â
âOh, you really think he did not do it?â You feel a knot in your throat.
âI like to think that.â You furrow your eyebrows at them. âDo you all think heâs capable of being with another woman?â
âWell, heâs been there for months, even before your departure; it is almost obvious he couldnât⌠be⌠unattended?â
You scrunch your nose. âSo, youâre saying I should have⌠been unfaithful to him to be even?â
âWe all know you could never, donât you worry. It was just a thought.â
If it were not enough, you see Bucky walking into the restaurant, and then you cuss at the fact that the neighborhood is the size of an apple.
You look down and sip on your Coke, trying to go unnoticedâjust as Sara squeezes your hand, she mumbles your name and looks at you.
âDid you really share base with him?â You sigh and nod.
âWe barely talked there. We were both too busy.â And suddenly, the reminder of his hips rolling above you made you shiver.
âWell, if Iâd had him on my base, I wouldnât be exactly loyal, mhhâŚâ
You roll your eyes, and when they get distracted, you notice he is staring intently at you. He tilts his head towards the back door, and before you can even register what it means, he disappears through it. You donât understand why you are doing it, but you excuse yourself to the bathroom and walk like a moth to a flame.
He is waiting for you in a hallway leading to the back door where the dumpsters are. Rapidly, he pushes you against the dark door and kisses you hungrily. His tongue swirls on yours, as his hands grope your hip. Your hands find his neck immediately, squishing your digits on it.
âHowâs the mister doing?â He mumbles in your ear, and you pant the warm air from his mouth. âOh, I heard. He hasnât even set foot in your house yet.â
âBuckyâŚâ You mumble, tilting your head back. He chuckles and carefully slips his hand from your hip to the inside of your skirtâfinding the hem of your underwear.
âItâs easier when youâre not using a goddamn tight uniform.â He coos in your ear and teasingly goes down until he finds your wet spot. His middle finger goes deeper and finds your clit. You gasp and bite his shoulder to muffle your moan.
âDonâtâŚâ You try to stop him, and try is the most fitting word you can think of, because you donât really want him to stop.
âAre you sure you want me to stop?â His finger pauses its movements as he tilts your head with a finger in your chin.
Pure lust is shown in his eyes, and you are sure you can cry from the withdrawal of pleasure. You shook your head, and he kissed the tip of your nose, resuming his ministrations. Not enough time later, you come undone immediately; he takes his hand out of your skirt and licks the wetness left on it as he looks directly at you.
He waits for you to recover, and before you can even ask anything, he disappears and goes back to the tables. You quickly go to the bathroom, trying to recompose yourself. Your cheeks are heating, your mouth is now slightly swollen, and you are sure that if someone sees under Buckyâs shirt, they will find a reddened spot about to go purple.
You go back to your table, and the girls barely notice you were out for longer than a bathroom visit should take.
Later that night, when the girls were satisfied with the stories you gave them about the base, you go on your way back home, and you see a car you donât recognize. When you finally walk in, you see him sitting on your couch; your father is sharing a whiskey with him and his father, and you try to fake the biggest smile your lips let you.
He stands up and opens his arms; you walk fast toward him and hug himâand even there, you can feel Buckyâs scent filling your nose; you can still feel his finger rubbing your clit.
âHowâs the bravest nurse in the county?â You smile at him, but something feels different.
You both started so young; he did not even propose, and when he enlisted, he assumed you were just going to wait for him and get married as soon as he came back. And at first you were fine with the idea. What else could you do? It was every girl in town's plan, and he was a daydream for many girls.
But looking at him did not feel fine. He was someone else now, or maybe you were someone else.
The rest of the night you stay by his side, his calloused hand holding tight to yours, squeezing it once in a whileâand itâs the fact that you have never felt half the things Bucky made you feel; itâs the fact that you now think if he ever made a nurse in his base feel the way you feel now about Bucky.
They talk about the wedding, the house he has already bought out of townâand then you realize he wants you two out of town, and the idea of not seeing Bucky ever again seems realistic so suddenly.
After that, the wedding preparations become serious. You start to go with Mrs. DeLauren, and the first time you stand up in front of her, she looks so wise. Incredibly, there is not even one wrinkle on her face, even at her age.
You know her story vaguely. She was widowed some years ago, and her husband, Mr. Thomas DeLauren, helped her to found this whole businessâshe always loved to create, and she loved seeing her future brides excited to have their bridal dresses by her.
âLook at you; itâs gonna be easy on you. You got a perfect body, sweetheart.â She smiles and starts to measure parts of your body. âWho are you marrying?â
âJosh Foyer.â You mumble, looking at the window behind her.
âOh, good boy. Great parents. You got one of the good ones.â
And you feel a pang in your chest. In fact, every time you are there, you feel hollow in your chest, not only because this woman is pouring her heart into creating the perfect dress for your wedding, like with thousands of women who have married in real love, but because you still see Bucky in alleywaysâevery time you are on a date with your friends at Popâs, or every time you are lurking around at the park and he finds you there and takes you to dark places to remind you of everything you are losing by marrying Josh.
And now, this woman who has dedicated her life to this is wasting her sweet time on youâa girl who lets a man who is not her fiancĂŠ wander on her body in hidden places.
But rumours spread fast, and Bucky learns you spend your evening there, fitting your dress, getting all dolled up for a man that Bucky does not think deserves you.
The piece of silk of your petticoat that falls to your ankle looks so expensiveâand you know you donât even have to worry about it, but it looks like a waste of fabric to you.
You look down at her and smile. âTake the time you need, Mrs. DeLauren.â
âStop it with that; call me Dana. Mrs. DeLauren was my mother-in-law, and that woman was a bitch.â
Trying to hide a laugh, you cough, and she shakes her head. âNo hiding here. She knows well how much we hated each other; thatâs why she doesnât haunt me.â She stands up and irons her dress. âTake five, sweetie. If you need to, you can take the dress off and take a walk to get some air.â
âThank you, Dana.â
You sit on the small store window where a mannequin stands, and when you look away, you see him. Standing on a corner, cocky smile, eyes fixed on the store, and you know he is waiting for you.
You are now the one who tilts your head, guiding him to the alleyways you noticed in previous days. You run to the door and find him already there; he takes you by your waist and lifts you to straddle him. He corners you and starts attacking your neck.
âYou look so goddamn beautiful.â
âMe and how many more?â You pant, and he chuckles.
âIâm not the one getting married to someone else, sweetheart.â
He says before pinning you to the brick wall and unzipping his jeans.
âJames⌠We canâtâŚâ You try to stop him.
âItâs gonna be fast, I promise. I just⌠I miss youâŚâ
You feel his tip grazing your entrance even when your cunt is fully clothed. You nod, closing your eyes. Let hell go loose; if you are already going to hell, you should as well enjoy the way.
He hooks a finger and slides aside your underwear, finally sliding in. He thrusts and rolls his hips, and you can cry some moans into his shoulder, digging your nails into his backâthe last time you had something was him back in the baseâthe twitching of his dick takes you out of your thoughts, and he is about to pull out when you stop him immediately.
âIf you stain this dress, sheâs gonna know.â He chuckles and kisses you again.
âYou just want me to make it stick.â He grunts and pumps harder to fill you in. âYou're more worried âbout the damn dress than your future husband.â
You motion your head; you are not even sure if it is a nod or a shake, and he fills your ear with a laugh.
âYou're so lost on me that you're not even making sense.â
He rolls his hip once again and reaches your most sensitive spot, making you come undone, crying out. He lets you cool down and puts you down, helping you wipe away any trace of dust from your gown.
âLook at you, sweetheart. You look so beautiful.â He checks you up and down. âThat bastard is a lucky one.â
âBucky⌠We canât keep doing this⌠Iâm getting married⌠You should be out there looking for a woman who loves, and I know you can find plenty of them.â
You cup his cheek, and he leans into your touch, closing his eyes.
âI need to get back there, Bucky.â
âWhenâs your night appointment?â He says, gripping your wrist before you can even walk away.
âIâm not telling you.â
âThen Iâll be here every day âtill I see you.â He coos, and you know itâs not a fake threat.
âNext Friday night is my last fitting.â
âSee you here.â
You roll your eyes, and before you can even think, you sit again on the store window under the mannequin. Some minutes later, Dana comes back. âIâm sorry for taking so long; I got lost finding some things.â
You smile and shake your headâyou hurry to stand up on the platform as Dana starts to check on the fabricâand you donât notice, but she furrows her brow at a reddish-orange stain in the back of your gown; she laughs in a low voice.
After some minutes, she is done with todayâs fixing and lets you leave.
The week goes by without further ado, and you just canât find more excuses to go out when your wedding is barely some weeks away, and you should not be showing off yourself that much in the city with your single friends.
The date fades like nothing; he does not even mention the wedding until you do. He just drops that some of the remaining men in his troop who came back alive are attending, and that is just that. You then realize he is as interested in the wedding as you are.
When he is driving back home, you finally notice somethingâan undergarment, and you really try not to make a fuss out of it; you just stare at it while you remember Greenawayâs stories.
âOh, we were bolder than you all think,â She would say. âWe used to give them something to take home when they or us were dismissed; it could be underwearâanything would work.â
And you really try to be annoyed, but you are not.
You are somehow relieved.
You donât feel bad anymore; the problem now is what kind of marriage you are going into.
You canât talk with your mother. She is devoted to your fatherâand you donât want to know how your parents ruled their relationship.
After spending most of the day with him, he drops you off at DeLaurenâs shop, but before you can even walk in, you notice Bucky leaning on the wall near the alleyway. You look around, and no one is to be seen.
âYou can keep doing this; we will be caught up.â
âI know, but I wanted to catch a glimpse of the beautiful bride.â
âYou will see me at the event.â You roll your eyes.
âQuite not the sameâŚâ You roll your eyes.
âOh, why not?â
âIâm not the groom. I should get to see you with it before the wedding.â His eyes meet yours, and you feel the heat in your core.
âNeed to get going, but Iâll see if I can escape for a minute.â
âIâll be waiting all evening if itâs needed.â
Dana is finishing up the details, and she walks you to the mirror that is next to the windowâyou look at yourself, and you canât deny how beautiful you look. The dress fits and hugs you in an excellent way. You wish it were the dress you used for the wedding of your dreams.
When you look up, Bucky is now leaning against a wall on the other side of the street. He catches a glimpse of you, and you can even hear the whistle of his. That whistle he always did when he saw you in your uniform, just before telling you how beautiful you looked in it.
You want to stop yourself, but you smile at him.
âYou two need to be more careful,â Dana says from below, and your breath hitches.
âSorry?â
She scoffs and sits on the floor.
âI might look old, but I was young once and, unfortunately, not in a very different context than you are right now.â She leaves her tools to her side.
âYou did not know Mr DeLauren, but he was a gentleman. You donât see much of them nowadays.â Silence reigns in the shop. You lift your skirt and sit on the platform in front of her. âUnfortunately, I just learned to appreciate him, never to love him.â
And you look at her, agape. âMrs. DeLauren!â
âOh, donât âMrs. DeLaurenâ me! I had to wash and dry your gown from the brick stain at your last appointment. You, lady, have no place to judge.â
And heat rises to your cheeks.
âI get it, okay? We need to accomplish our parentsâ standardsâbut you donât have to marry that poor Josh just because you have been together for years.â
âAnd then why did you marry Mr. DeLauren?â
âHe asked me to. Thomas was a great man, and our parents worked togetherâthey thought it was the greatest idea. I was seeing Roberts in secretâand I got pregnant.â
âBy Thomas?â You ask, tilting your head, and she shakes her head.
âThomas took him as his child as soon as he learned. We got married as soon as it started showing off.â
âWhy didnât you marry Robert?â
âRobert was just a soldier; it was not as well seen as it is right now. And he was someone without a name. Mr. DeLauren was not, and you can not compete with that.â
âThomas always knew Charles was not his. He never cared.â
âAnd what happened to Robert?â
âHe got married, passed away some years later, leaving his widow alone with one child; she remarried a few years later.â
âDid you get to see him after you got married?â Your voice is a thread; you can cry any minute.
âA few times, but then he got married, and even if Thomas was mildly aware of my affairs, Robertâs wife was not part of the deal. But I think she got married the same way I got marriedâbecause she had to.â She looks at the way you are almost crying. âWe donât always get our happy ending.â
Both of you smile with resignation.
âI know men nowadays are not the⌠most faithful, but⌠Can I ask something?â She nods and looks at you.
âIf a man keeps something that belongs to a mistressâŚâ
âThatâs not a mistress anymore; thatâs the woman who has his heart.â She admits, and you swallow.
âBut why are you giving away things when you are still seeing each other?â She chuckles at the irony. âOr was it back in the base?â
âNot really. I never thought of giving him something.â
âThen whyâŚâ Realization comes to her. âOh⌠I should say sorry, but neither of you are completely committed. Welcome to marriage, I guess.â
You sigh and look at him, whoâs staring back at youâthose longing eyes pleading for something he is sure he will never get.
âI need to pick up some things some stores away to finish the last details.â She says as she stands up, and you look at her, confused. âDonât know what you're doing, but your cups keep getting bigger, and I need to fix them before the big day.â
âOh⌠not sure.â You furrow, and she laughs.
She looks at the window and sees him waiting. âThirty minutes, and if any of you dare to ruin my dress, you will walk the aisle with a ruined dress.â
Your mouth falls to the floor once again, and Dana says nothing before closing the shopâs main entrance.
You look at him from afar, and he looks as confused as you, but you hurry him up to the back door. There, you pull him by his jacket and take him to a linen room. Before you can close the door, he stops on his tracks and looks at you.
You think you are about to see teary eyes, but what you find is pure lustâpure hotness pooling all over his eyes.
He pushes you inside and lifts your dress, making you take every piece of fabric between your hands as he drops to the floor.
âWhat are you doing?â You ask in a rush.
âSomething Iâve been dreaming of since the first day I kissed you.â He hooks up a leg on his shoulder as he slides aside your underwear; before you can even comprehend, he is already tracing a line on your slit with his tongue. You gasp loudly as you grip the fabric of your dress.
His tongue is working its way between your folds, while his hand traces paths on your thigh, while you try not to make any sound that will tell on you. His tongue is relentless, savouring and drinking every taste he can gather from your arousalâyou have never felt this way before. Josh was a classic man. He would never even think about doing this, and now Bucky is claiming every one of your memories as his.
You know that after this, he is the only thing you will be able to have in your mind, and then you start to feel the orgasm rocketing from your core to your stomachâyou shiver at the feeling and arch your back as you start to let yourself go.
He drops to his thighs and looks at you from below.
His chin is completely damp, glistening with your arousal, and when you think he is done, he stands up and turns you around, pinning you on the wardrobe, your hand grips the furtniture as you look to your side, his face is fixed on the way your ass is exposed with your lifted dress, and he strokes the curve of your ass before finally pulling down your underwear. He bends you over and exposes your breasts over the dress, spilling them out as he pinches one of your nipples, and you cry out one more timeâthe feeling is almost too much.
âYou were not that sensitive back in the base.â
You try to shake your head, but your mind is getting foggy. When you finally feel his tip kissing your entrance, you gasp and look at him.
âDid you really think I would let him be the one to fuck you in your wedding dress?â He mumbles in your ear, but you are far gone to even form a coherent sentence, and without previous warning, he just thrusts and slides in.
His now well-known movements over you feel perfect, like your body has accepted that he is the only one who can make you feel like this.
âI swear to God you put a spell on me, because every time I take you I feel like your body feels better and better, and these here,â he gropes your breasts, âfeel even bigger in my hands.â
He pumps again and, with trembling legs, spills inside his warm cum. You rest your body in the wardrobe, and he starts to kiss your hair, your neck, your shoulders, and at last your temple.
âLook at you, your dress smells like me, and you are marrying someone else.â He says as he turns you around again and lifts your dress, trying to soothe it.
âI think he cheated on me in his base,â You titter, and he scoffs, tugging a strand of hair in the back of your ear.
âWell, at least you are even now.â You shake your head. âI think he fell in love with her too.â
âWhy would you think that?â
âHe keeps her underwear and brings it everywhere. I saw it in his car just earlier.â
âPoor evil.â He tousles his hair back. âThen what? Are you calling off the wedding?â
âFor what? Underwear? Thereâs no way my father will accept it.â
He purses his lips and nods.
âI guess I wonât see you until the wedding then.â He cradles your face and looks at you.
âYou are gonna be there?â
âJust in case the bride needs a getaway ride.â
âThat wouldnât be fairâŚâ
âYou know what they sayâŚâ
You scoff and help him get out of the linen room.
He walks towards the back door and looks at you once again. âIâm keeping my word, even at the last minute. There will be a car waiting for you that day. I mean it.â
The big day comes by, and your mother is so busy with so many things that she sends you alone to Mrs. DeLauren. When you arrive, you see the wedding dress on the mannequin and the rest of the setup next to it.
âI was so sure you were going to chicken out.â Dana appears from the hallway, but her gaze shifts immediately. âThereâs no wayâŚâ
âWhat?â You turn around and look to your sides.
She walks quickly towards you and fixes her gaze directly on your breasts, then she looks around and points at your belly.
âYou didnât protect yourself?!â She shouts, and you jump on the spot. âI thought you were more intelligent than this, for Lordâs sake.â
âWhat are you talking about?!â
âYouâre pregnant! I can see it! Shit, I can smell it!â She hurries with the measuring tape to check your hips and waist and shakes in disbelief.
And then, every time you and Bucky were reckless enough not to give a shit come to your mind. She storms off immediately, and you can hear her walking upstairs and yelling now on the second floor.
You hear some commotion and then two pairs of steps coming downstairs, and then you see him.
Uniform spotless, hair mussed back, his eyes are now wide open, and his face is pale.
âI try to do one thing for you two, kids. And how do you pay me? Getting knocked up!â She grunts.
âWhat are you doing here?â
âI wanted to say goodbye to you. I wanted to see you one more time before you were Mrs. Foyer. Mrs. DeLauren saw me wandering and gave me a chance to see you here.â
âIâll give you a minute.â Dana pats his back and gives you a look.
Itâs not a scowl; she is not even mad. You can see it. She wants to tell you more than her years of experience can say, but she needs to remain professional. She is hired to help brides look beautiful the day they get married, not to run away with a soldier. But you know her eyes are pleading; you know she means to ask you to do what she did not have the guts to do decades ago.
You nod, and she walks away.
âBuckyâŚâ You finally look at him.
âLetâs go away. I canât promise you much, but I got some dimes under my name, and we can go as far as possible. Iâll give you everything. Iâm gonna work twice as hard; this is not even about the baby. I asked her to help me because I canât let you get married to someone who doesnât love you, and you donât love either.â
You start to tear up, and he kneels in front of you.
âIâm asking you to start something together. Far from here. And I know your parents will hate you and my mother will be worried as hell, but we will write them a letter when everything cools down. And if they never forgive us, we've got each otherâŚâ He is begging, and his hands grip your hips.
You donât stop to think and just nod. Looking at him. He stands up and towers over you, hugging you, holding you tightly as you keep tearing up.
âI love you, and I donât care what things come our way; we will face them together.â
He grips your hand, and before he can pull you out to start running towards the car, you stop him.
âNeed to do something before we flee.â You run towards the stairs, but before you get to them, you see Dana standing up in front of them. You hug her, and she hugs you back.
Words not said are understood, and you look up at her.
âI demand a happy ending.â Both of you chuckle, and she nods.
âYou have every right to have your happy ending.â
âIâm sorry you got to do such a beautiful dress, and it will go to wasteâŚâ You try to sound serious, but you laugh.
âThat thing? Will be sold by the end of the week. Iâm sorry you will be a runaway bride.â
âI think happy endings come in different forms.â
She nods. âPlease, leave. I will have to say you never even came to the store, and if you are seen here, it will be difficult to lie.â
You nod and run to Bucky, who is already looking around to be sure no one is near. You both hop into the car.
You look back and see Dana looking at you, and she is cryingâeven when she does not want to admit it, you know she wishes it had been different.
Bucky holds your hand and kisses the back of it when you finally pay attention to the radio in the background.
âIâm so in love with you⌠Iâll never thrill again to somebody newâŚâ Frank Sinatra sings to you, as if the world is trying to tell you that it could not have been different for you.