[Yasmin Benoit: You barely see asexual people as it is, let alone a black asexual person.
I am a model and an asexuality activist, and I am an aromantic asexual.
There was never really a time where I didnât think I was asexual. I noticed when I was about eight and I was in primary school like everyoneâs hormones seemed to kick in and all of a sudden the boys and girls didnât want to just play with each other; they were going out with each other and they fancied each other and I was like, âAlright, whatâs this?â
The default is straight so when people would ask me Iâd be like âWell I guess Iâm straight but I donât like boys.â And they were like: âWell then youâre probably not straight.â They said: âWell do you like girls?â and I was like âNo, I donât really like anybody.â And they were like: âWell maybe youâre asexual or something?â And I was like âAlright, that sounds good.â So I Googled that and I was like âYeah, sounds about right.â So when I was about 14, I just started using that word.
I find that most of the time, in my personal life, people just kind of re-interpret it their own way. So Iâll say: âHey, Iâm asexualâ and theyâll be like: âOh ok, so youâre well behaved.â Theyâll just switch it. Iâll be like âIâm asexualâ and theyâll be like: âOh, youâll find the right person, donât worryâ and Iâll be like âThatâs not what I said.â
It has nothing to do with being a prude, it has nothing to do with being insecure, and antisocial, and introverted. It has nothing to do with how you lookâthatâs something I get a lotâpeople are like: âOh but youâre good looking, you donât need to be asexual,â which usually tells me that A) people think that there is an asexual look and that it isnât a good one, and 2) that asexuality is a choice that people take when they canât get dates or that they canât get laid, which is really strange.
One of the benefits of being asexual is definitely that you donât have to worry aboutâif youâre aromanticâyou really donât worry about relationship stuff. I know some asexual people do worry about that but I donât have that problem.
I think that representation is definitely very important because I think the LGBTQIA+ community in general is pretty whitewashed in its representation. That is not only ironic for the community thatâs supposed to be so inclusive and diverse if it doesnât look like that, itâs also counterproductive for minorities that are part of it because itâs kind of seen as being a white thing, which definitely doesnât help when you are trying to come out and people donât take it seriously in your community because itâs seen as being this white kid thing.
Even in the LGBTQIA community, I find that people tend to cut out the A or think that the A stands for allies. I notice a lot of the time in organisations or in the media, people only care about the LGBT part and even though they put the plus, they donât actually acknowledge the plus. But last time I checked the community is about, you know, people that arenât heteronormative and they donât fit that and itâs supposed to be inclusive of that. I think that LGBTQIA+ platforms should do a better job of acknowledging whatâs in the plus and not just the LGB and the T.]