good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

Duuude don't question my version of events I'm such a reliable narrator. I'm literally the protagonist and the main character. You can literally read some of my internal thoughts, that clearly means you have complete access to an objective view of my thoughts and feelings and a correct impression of my characterization and the events unfolding around me. I'm not omitting any information from the audience. Nevermind that timeskip just now

i would so go on a walk with you

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

we need more deadbeat daughter stories

yeah yeah having a crush is embarassing but have you ever watched yourself develop a new category 5 character obsession in real time. agonizingly humiliating shit

I am always online. Scrolling. Clicking thibgs

(no beers in) do you guys think i'm redeemable

I can't believe November is almost over. What's next, December?? Thank god there aren't any months after that

okay i lied put your clothes back on we're not having sex i'm fundamentally evil and i need you to kill me

*procrastinates doing things I love for an unknown reason*