do one good thing before you go

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

four line sentences are good and okay. its cool. you dont need to end your setnence or that thought! add another comma or an em dash. everything will be okay. it makes sense and flows well. #awesome #mybehemothsentence

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

9.8 m/s^2 is one of the most classic accelerations to undergo

your cat was an honor to see in the window

[claws out of a wave of nebulous panic to make a self-aware ironic little quip]

mmmh... arrogant/egotistical whumpees who then get humiliated and broken down are good, but i truly do love when The Character has an ego that's partly rooted *in* their whumpy situation. i can take more pain than you. i'm a prettier pet than you. i'm the best weapon you've got. of course everyone wants to touch me, i'm irresistible. of course i'm bleeding out on the altar, i'm holy. etc etc etc