Much Ado About RWBY

being a kid watching the spongebob movie and having no knowledge of why david hasselhoff would make a cameo in that film, nor who he is in general, and just radically accepting the fact that spongebob and patrick were saved by some shirtless speedboat dude with no context

tbh that's the average experience for non-american kids who grew up before the internet and complete americanization of our pop culture. oh the character is now wearing Some Dude's clothes and singing on stage? cool i guess

For me it was like "that guy was mentioned in Animorphs, he was on some beach show or something"

okay. fine. i have a solution that will make no one happy. let's make pluto a planet. if we launch one tungsten cube per day for 200 years precisely aimed at pluto's surface it will become massive enough to gravitationally clear its orbit of other kuiper belt objects. this will be completely useless and extremely expensive as well as potentially dangerous. and it will destroy the heart

see, this is again exactly the type of thinking i was roasting. you can't even name the kuiper belt objects or the features that make them unique or interesting for study. you don't know any of the things we have learned following this change in nomenclature. you can't accept empiricism or adapt to change. you're trying to use a "punk" label imagining yourself postured in some kind of resistance to authority when what you're really doing is clinging to the way things were when you were a child, which changed twenty years ago, and invoking a ridiculous and pointless threat of nuclear bombs to defend it, aligning yourself precisely with the actions of the state. it's sad

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

the great thing about the wuxia genre is you can start a sect called the Evil Blood Cult in a place called Demon Mountain that’s a volcano full of poison and you all wear crazy gothic black and red hanfu and practice Sinister Backstabber Style kung fu and like. that’s not a deterrent to prospective disciples. do all that and a fuckton of bright eyed youngsters will still show up at your door and say hello i would like to join the demon mountain evil blood cult where do i sign up?

Lockheed Martin was at my college's job fair

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

give us back carcinization, bunjy. first warning.

lining a yaoi paddle with dollar store razors in some crude approximation of a macuahuitl, for the fujoshi wars

Enchanted weapon

cats have a long history of freaking out at invisible objects so this is normal