Dreaming of my next adventure

Carrie Fisher’s autopsy reveals she had high levels of “Mind your own fucking business” as well as “Who the fuck made that report public anyway”

The autopsy revealed she  drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. We already knew this

This is the worst life of my life

#iconic

i send 50 texts in 1 minute

Wow

just got a message saying im mean for this…..its not mean, its alternative facts honey 

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but I’d rather cry on a terrace with a Mediterranean seascape view and reach into a Birkin for kleenex to wipe my tears away.

‘but how are my kids supposed to sing along to moana if it’s in another language?’ the same way i sang along to lion king brenda tell your bitch ass kids to up their fucking game

holy shit a political comic that frames a tablet as a means to gather information rather than The Millennial Brain Rot Device™

searching for that fine line between “i need to stay informed” and “i can’t take any more of this.”

WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS 😂

i got a headache :/

google says im gonna die

why is google sending you death threats for having a headache