✨

🎶 The wizard takes it alllllll

notice how everyones 30 now

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

(sending a normal message and getting a normal response) theres no coming back from this

we need more hackers and tech junkers

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

i think i will get lucky and find $10,000 in cash today

My sapphic ass just missed the toilet bowl & slipped in the puddle & fractured muy hulking iron body & now im too crying to get up now theres bugs crawling on me everywhere cuz i spilled my slurpy on my shirt 5 days ago & they want the sugars stuck in it wich i dont even blame them for at all

you’re telling me it’s sunday night?

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

55 beetles 55 flies 55 locusts 55 lice 55 mites 100 butterflies 100 spiders 100 termites 100 maggots 100 crickets 55 wasps 55 slugs 55 pillbugs 55 psyllids 55 pinworms and 155 tapeworms