It's all relative except when it's not.

so when i was at camp we had a dress up superhero day and so i dressed up as black widow but like super cheaply (cheap wig, black leggings, black jacket) so it takes most ppl a second to figure out what i’m going for anyway i ran into a little girl who loved my costume and after a brief conversation it transpired it was because she was under the impression that i was ariel. i was like oh cool yeah that makes sense, how did you guess? expecting her to be like “the hair!” and she gave me this ‘duh’ look and said “it’s her costume from the avengers” because she’s under the impression that the little mermaid is also the black widow and i love her and the world she must live in

d&d setting where all the elves use too many apostrophes because they talk with a southern accent, featuring the magical sword y’all’d’ve

@the-real-seebs

elf: We come from the land of yer mom’n’em. 

@cryosession

FUCKING HERE FOR IT

This has ALWAYS been my experience in food service. Rich people tip like shit because they feel your job isn’t a ‘real’ job. They’re used to being serviced so they don’t appreciate hard labor. It’s so gross. And poorer people always tip nice because…well the opposite reason.

why is this me though

Guy 1: (yelling)“ would you please stop talking about your sexuality for five minutes!!” *Silence* Thomas: “Any gay..”

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

may 5778 be the year justice is realized for the oppressed peoples of the world

So long as at least some of them are Jews played by Jews, i’m down

His wife is Jewish, so I have high hopes that he’ll do a good job seeing to it that everybody is represented