we have withered

) <- super parenthesis. reblog to close all parentheticals you opened and forgot to close in your life and return to equilibrium

wishing spiders a successful strike, may they get everything they want

I mean like the game devs from the company Spiders who are on strike right now. Not the. Not the leggy fellers. I don't think they're on strike

half the reblogs are people saying "the leggy fellers should strike too!" and I can't tell if it's because they hate spiders or love strikes. but I'll never figure that out because I still can't move past the implication that the spiders are employed

once you start saying “yippee!” you will never stop

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it

"anakin shouldn't have done that" he was huffing space gasoline at age 7 literally what did you expect. "obi-wan shouldn't have done that" he literally goes through a window face first in episode 2. "padme shouldn't have done that" she's had a career since she was 10

i've crunched the numbers and analyzed the situations man and i tell you i ran this in the most favorable of conditions. assuming this boy turned 19 literally 5 minutes before AOTC picks up and Space Years can be substituted by our years, and by '20+' we mean 21, this dude gets electrocuted every 7.4 weeks. dude...... like bro. like man.

HEY SO IT WASN'T FAVORABLE CONDITIONS APPARENTLY IT WAS FUCKING 30 TIMES FOR A RATE OF 1 ELECTROCUTION EVERY 5 WEEKS HAHAHAHAHAHA

please be patient with me im from the 1900s

Thank you, lady 🤗

The Nigerian accent. God. She reminds me of home…

Always grateful when this makes the rounds

leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this

Sometimes something fucked up happens to the guy and their melody gets fucked up too. Sometimes the thing that fucked them up also has its own melody and when the first melody gets fucked up the second melody gets mixed in

no fucking way dude. are you serious

spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.

happy we’re just normal men wednesday

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to miss the application window

you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

in the google doc. straight up "writing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. Nothing

people who don’t have boops on, I respect your peace but also picture me standing outside your blog scratching the door like a cat wanting to be let in

Ceaseless booper smack your paw upon this wretched thing

"what have you been doing on your phone for the past two fucking hours" hitting people leave me alone