:)

the raw panic of hearing about your potential, positive or negative

a weird brand of imposter syndrome where you genuinely think you’ve fluked your way through every success and you’re gonna be Exposed as a Fraud

never having learned how to study and having no idea where to start now that you need to

reading college level books as a kid but being basically illiterate now

dismissing your struggles as irrelevant because other people have it harder and i should be smart enough to handle this

feeling like you’ve lost all control over your life (maybe manifesting into depression, anxiety and disordered eating in a grasp for control over something)

‘Charley Rumble makes a mean apple crumble’. 

If there was ever a time for apple crumble it is now. Outside is cold and dark and sad, while inside is warm with the promise of edible comfort. I couldn’t be more excited about this recipe! I don’t meant to talk myself down but I think I may have created the best apple crumble in the world. The secret to apples in general is, surprisingly, orange. Who knew! I first stumbled across this combination when I found a recipe for an orange and apple cake. You cook the apples in fresh orange juice and leave it all to cool before layering with the cake mixture. The result was the most exquisite cake I’ve ever had. You’d think the stimulating acidity would be too much but when a little sugar is applied, apples and oranges bring out the best in each other. Since then every apple based bake comes with a side order of oranges.  This worked out very well for today’s recipe because, as we all know, Paddington Bear lives on a diet on marmalade, and I’m sure a bit of apple and orange crumble wouldn’t do him any harm. For this recipe, freshly squeezed orange juice is mixed with marmalade to make a smooth syrup which bubbles up with the apples to create truly the most delicious bake for winter. The crumb topping is buttery, thick and steadying. They haven’t asked me to say this but my favourite thing to pair with…well, anything really, is Ambrosia clotted cream custard. It has subtle hints of vanilla that come together with crumble to create a hole in one, a last minute decider goal, a £10 note when you didn’t think you had one.  I’ll tell you what else is a hole in one; Paddington 2.  It’s sweet and brave I’m not ashamed to say I cried every time I saw it at the cinema. I don’t want to spoil it for those that haven’t seen it, but there’s a section in the film involving male prisoners. Paddington is there asking if any of them know any good recipes, something to liven the place up a bit. Typically men in films talk about themselves a lot but there is a man, meant to be a hardened criminal, standing up and saying a fellow prisoner makes ‘a mean apple crumble’. The subtext being that he’s proud of this, proud of his friend, and really likes apple crumble. I find that so lovely and it’s what Paddington is all about. Community spirit, building each other up, creating a better world. And it’s starting now, with this crumble. For our friend, Michael Bond. 

For the topping:       280g plain or 00 grade flour       85g caster sugar       140g butter, chilled and cubed             For the filling:       Juice of 1 large orange       4 tbsp marmalade       35g sugar      1kg green apples (such as coxes)        In a bowl, rub together the topping ingredients until all the butter is incorporated and you can pinch pieces together with your hands and they stay in reasonable clumps. I tend to squeeze some of the mixture together, then rough it up loose again with my fingers. Put this in the fridge while you make the filling. 

Preheat the oven 180C. 

In a large bowl, use a spoon to smooth the marmalade. Add the orange juice and sugar and mix together until smooth. Peel, core and thickly slice the apples, then place them into the orange juice mixture. Coat the apples in the mixture as much as you can, then put them evenly into the dish you are using for the crumble. I split mine into two, which is why it’s in a small round dish. 

Bake in the oven for 40 minutes, or until the top is golden and the apples are bubbling through. Leave to cool for a few minutes before serving with whatever you see fit. Paddington would say serve it with…more marmalade! 

Next time on Baking The Detectives…

This is a recent example from Glossa of what I would consider a longish squib of about 14 pages, exploring the difference between the use of singular they to refer to a specific person whose pronouns are they/them vs. using it to refer to an unspecified or generic individual. The squib's goal is just to call attention to the fact that these are two actually different uses of the word they, which should probably be treated separately for the purposes of theoretical analysis; its goal isn't to actually carry out that analysis.

IDK I’m just sick of hearing how Business Bros talk and how many people are suckers for it. I want blunt people standing there going “hey, that guy didn’t actually SAY anything, he just strung together a bunch of nonsense corporate words to make you think ‘ooo profit’ but there’s nothing substantial here”

Auditor is basically the most hardcore, rule compliant, and honest form of accountant.

Everyone in the notes saying that this sounds so fun and you would do it for free… no really this is a legit profession that people will pay you very real actual money to do.

If you like putting things in neat organized categories and having columns of numbers that always add up correctly then accountant may be a good career for you.