Maybe you're a little late, maybe you're a hurricane.

i need to proudly embrace my identity as a loser slacker boy

real talk i was thinking about hanging out with a friend and then i fell into a self-hatred spiral like oh i'm such a failure etc but for the most part i'm holding myself up to standards that are either incredibly difficult or impossible for me to achieve (or it's something i don't even want to do yet feel like i have to) and it's making me miserable. and i'm overworking myself too. i need to accept myself as a loser slacker boy so i can heal. and also because i like the vibes

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

I love the whole 30 is the new 21 trend like yes queen so true. Your 30s are not for having children and settling down. They are for traveling, building your career, and going to the CLUB. Freeze ur eggs if u must I don’t care. Any 30 something year old woman who’s choosing to enjoy her newfound financial stability and not spend it in an unhappy marriage has my wholehearted stamp of approval.

go white boy! get stupid!

lost in the sauce

Happy Wet Beast Wednesday

reblog to tell a 14 year old that these are the very, very hard years and they're not wrong to feel the way they do.

I had a fifteen minute long crying session yesternight over the fact that all I was 10 years ago, at the ripe old age of 14, is lost and lonely, and now, at 24, I am neither and that filled me with so much gratitude

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

"forgor" did irreversible damage didn't it

yeag

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

also note this is a PARASITIC infection. most diarrhea-causing pathogens you expect to contaminate your greens are bacteria (e.g. e. coli and salmonella), which are a different domain of organism altogether. cyclospora is a protozoan, which is bigger and more complicated than a bacteria (for reference, malaria is also caused by a protozoan). bacterial diarrhea can be dangerous, but you might also expect to weather it and survive unscathed. do NOT fuck with PARASITIC contamination. you should be scared of this one!

Extra note: this parasite can only be found in human feces, this food was contaminated due to a lack of bathrooms and washing stations on harvesting sites due to loosening enforcement of food safety regulations. This was more than preventable, we used to prevent it.