but there actually are some social cues that can be taught. like the obvious one is when someone says “how are you” they usually mean “friendly noise” and are not actually asking how you are, although some people ARE genuinely asking how you are and it’s usually up to the context of your relationship to determine the difference
also that apparently “when you get a chance” usually means “when you take a break from the thing you’re immediately doing” and not “on a list among various other things you are doing today or tomorrow”
and when someone says “i’ll let you get going” they mean “please leave”
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Listen I get it but you CANNOT use "sensory nightmare" as an excuse to avoid essential things. You HAVE to find a way to make it work, such as finding effective alternatives. But you can't just avoid it.
You need to eat some vegetables in your diet or you will become a lich.
You have to wear a life jacket or you will literally drown and die.
You need to be able to exist in public spaces with children.
I keep seeing this on my dash and it bothers me every time. I've thought about and I think that I don't necessarily disagree with the message but the delivery is... the opposite of helpful. This is not a helpful thing to say. This is just more of what people with disabilities hear all the time. No new information, no encouragement, no understanding, just being told you have to do something painful/difficult/impossible with a dash of shame for not being able to. This is the same thing people with disabilities hear all the time.
This is the same thing people with disabilities hear all the time.
So yeah! Generally speaking, I would say we are aware. And I personally would say the only thing this post accomplishes is allowing a way for OP to vent some kind of frustration, express those feelings and get validation for them. Because it doesn't accomplish anything else that I can see. New information? Nope. Helpful framing of problem to set up people to successfully address the problem? No again.
As someone with disabilities including sensory processing deficits and as someone whose job is to help people do what they need to do even if they have impairments of any kind (I am an occupational therapist), I would like to offer some information that may be helpful or interesting. It will be extremely simplified and may not be the best most accurate depiction of reality because while I have experience I would not consider myself an expert. And I'm going to talk about things a bit clinically so be prepared in case that is uncomfortable to engage with.
There are a few ways you can address a situation in which you are not able to function in some way that is important to you/your well-being.
Remediation refers to improving your abilities to the point you are able to function as needed. In the case of sensory difficulties, this could look like reducing your sensitivity to certain stimuli. Another example would be to strengthen your leg muscles if you were too weak from some kind of inactivity to walk safely. Great! That would be the best outcome for most right? Fix the underlying problem. Obviously this is not always possible due to the limits of the human body and other pesky things like the laws of physics.
Compensation means fixing the problem with some kind of additional support. For auditory sensitivity, this could look like wearing headphones to reduce the amount of stimuli to the point you are able to handle. For weak leg muscles, this could look like using some kind of mobility device like a brace or a cane. Sometimes, for infinite possible reasons, even with compensatory support a person is not able to overcome whatever impairment or deficit is impacting them.
So, accommodation. Accommodation means, we can't fix the problem so we are going to work around it. If you can't overcome your sensory difficulties even with supports to allow you to engage in an activity like going to the grocery store or a child's birthday party, then something else would need to be changed for you to meet whatever needs/goals those activities would accomplish. Maybe in order to get groceries it would be best if you had them delivered by a service or someone in your support network. Maybe to celebrate a child's birthday and maintain family relationships, it would be best to go see the child at a different time to wish them a happy birthday. Going back to the leg weakness example, maybe you would need to use a wheelchair if you can't walk safely even with supports.
Now there are a million considerations as to which approach is best, like if it's possible to remediate you might not want to accommodate in order to avoid losing the ability to improve the impairment. It might be possible to remediate but the cost in resources like time and energy is too high to make it feasible, or it just doesn't fit into your priorities. You don't have the budget for your ideal accommodation so you have to look at other options. There may be a way for you to compensate but the compensation could cause other problems, like headache or hearing issues from prolonged headphone use or wounds on your skin from where a brace digs into your leg.
My main issue from the original post's message being that "you have to find a way to do certain things" is that sometimes...there is no way. Sometimes you can't do the things that you need or want to do. We're talking about disabilities - that's what having a disability means! There's one little mention about finding alternative ways to do things in the original post but this is buried under reiterations of the same idea - basically, "there is a way to do things you are not able to do and you just have to do it."
There are people who cannot go to certain places. There are people who cannot eat certain foods. There are people who cannot wear certain things even including safety devices that work for a majority of other people.
You cannot force yourself through willpower or shame to be able to do things you don't have the ability to do. It may be possible to improve things that are giving you trouble but this will be accomplished through patience, effort, understanding, and other resources including time and energy.
Please consider this perspective if you too read this post and it was added to all the other experiences in which you were made to feel belittled, ashamed, and frustrated because of your disability.
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when jorge luis borges wrote in a copy of beowulf that he was working on translating, “beyond my anxiety, beyond this writing, the universe waits, inexhaustible, inviting.”
here’s the full poem! it’s so. something so transcendent something so inevitable and real and conceptually like looking into the abyss and hearing a choir sing your humanity back to you
I actually really like the term genderqueer, because the only thing it specifies about your gender is that it's queer in some way. Does that mean you're nonbinary? Binary trans? Cis with some freaky cool gender presentation stuff going on? None of those or all of those? It doesn't matter and I think that's beautiful.
saying this as mildly as possible but the anti ai posting tenor on this website (not last post, but in general - i have been biting my tongue for a long long time) is one generally oriented towards a maximal amount of self-righteousness. in my experience, self-righteousness only ever produces martyrdom and a punitive desire for "justice" that can never quite be quenched. none of it is actually conducive towards good politics around the matter in question, least of all ai, which is frankly poorly understood and thought about on here. a little more compassion and thoughtfulness and a little less solipsistic self-absorption perhaps is in order.
Speaking of psych wards picking and choosing which patients they want to save, for some reason local psych wards have been like... bragging? They only take willing admissions, nobody against their will. But as like a "look we're the GOOD people who don't force people in" instead of "we pick and choose for only the easiest patients to care for and will send you to the first county owned grippy sock oubliette we can throw you in otherwise."
Right. I only know how it works in my particular US state but here are 3 reasons it's bullshit off the top of my head. It's not the hospitals who decide that someone needs to be involuntarily admitted, it's the legal system, so a hospital denying admission to people who are detained is basically just denying care to vulnerable populations. Some people are legally declared to not have capacity to consent to treatment based on their mental status so even if they explicitly request treatment such as a psych admission they still have to go through the involuntary detainment process to make it legal, so this denies care to more vulnerable people who are actually trying to make decisions about their care but legally cannot. It's incredibly common to get someone to voluntarily admit themselves just by threatening to go through the process of involuntary admission if they don't agree so they go along with it to make it easier on themselves, rendering the distinction between voluntary and involuntary pretty much useless.
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Everyone who plays around with Tarot cards long enough winds up with a “bad” card that they love. I just barely persuaded my husband not to get the Ten of Swords tattooed on his body; traditionally, it shows a corpse with ten swords stuck in their body and means “utter ruin,” but he thought that if it took ten swords to kill you, then you must have put up a pretty good fight.
honestly this is the most badass ten of swords interpretation i've ever heard. i'm stealing this
Can't tell if it's the autism or the cynicism or the human in me but I distinctly dislike receiving a well-crafted and complimentary message from someone I know professionally and having to wonder which parts, if any, reflect sincerity vs. how much is just stock language/sentiments that were copy-pasted from some default template that gets sent to literally everybody.
[ID: An embroidery hoop depicting a sheep eating green thread which flows from a geometric floral pattern in varying shades of green across the hoop. The sheep's black parts are cross-stitched; the rest of the piece is done in back stitch.
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