We're all queer here

And everyone's been a little concerned for a while about julian's erratic behaviour and bag-laden eyes, but on one of these nights, when Miles spots bruises up Julian's arm - which Julian hurriedly covers up muttering something about a holosuite accident - a heavy suspicion suddenly occurs to to him, that Julian's behaviour isn't about the war or anything like that. It's all about Garak.

He and Keiko don't press Julian too much that night, but the next few days they pay close attention and try to stick close to Julian so he's never alone with Garak, and get Dax and Odo in on it too. (Sisko they plan bring in once they get proof and know what Julian wants to do. They're not quite sure how Nerys would react if she heard Julian was being abused by Garak, but they figure it probably wouldn't be "discreet".)

Several misinterpretations later, with Julian having been as vague and closed-up as possible (and not having twigged what his friends are thinking), they have a hushed meeting in Quark's (Julian's gone off to play some new holoprogram, apparently), and decide they need to confront Garak about what he's been doing to their friend.

But before they can, Garak turns up to confront them about what they've been doing to Julian. Have they been taking advantage of Julian's poor mental health to seduce him away from Garak? Why haven't they been taking better care of their doctor and making sure Julian's getting the same medical attention that everyone else on the station receives from him?

--

From the looks of things, either Julian was doing some sort of mental stock take, or he was standing staring blankly at some shelves. In Miles' opinion, both of those activities could wait.

"Hey, you got a moment?" he called, crossing the room towards his friend. Julian spun around - evidently a touch startled - but he quickly schooled his expression, even reaching for a small smile.

"If it's just a moment. I am working, you know."

"I thought your shift didn't start 'til nine today?"

Looking away from him, Julian shrugged. "CMO's prerogative?" he offered.

Miles snorted. "You couldn't sleep, more like. How early did you leave ours this morning?"

A month ago, he'd have earnt himself a scorching glare for a comment like that. Now, Julian seemed too tired to muster up more than a slight frown.

"Maybe a few hours ago?" Julian said vaguely, as though Miles wasn't fully aware that the doctor timed everything to the minute. "I've not been here long, though. If you must know, I was apologising to Garak."

"Apologising? Julian, what—"

He broke off, the Keiko-in-his-head reminding him that this was a sensitive situation, which couldn't afford any uncontrolled emotional outburst.

"I mean - it's just you said last night that Garak had been being a prick, that's all."

Running a hand through his hair, Julian gimaced. "Fuck. I guess I did say that didn't I?"

"It was just about the only thing you'd say."

Julian looked away again, letting out what Miles could only describe as a nervous chuckle. "I was a bit of a mess last night, that's all. I shouldn't even have bothered you over it, really. Er, sorry about that."

"Shouldn't have bothered— I mean, Christ, Julian, you were really upset last night—"

"I know," Julian said quickly, cutting him off. "And I didn't need to be. It's my fault. I was just... making a fuss out of nothing."

Fuck. This was textbook abuse, wasn't it? All the hurried research he'd done last was piling up; phrases like "coercive control", "gaslighting", "reverse victimisation" had started to run through Miles' head on loop. He took a deep breath - and then another two, for good measure - jaw clenching as he bit back his anger. To openly criticise Garak now would be to run the risk of pushing Julian away from him, further into the Cardassian's arms, and he couldn't take that chance.

"Well, uh— it's okay if "nothing" feels like a big deal, sometimes, y'know," he managed, hoping he didn't sound too strained. "Me and Keiko are always happy to see you, whenever you need - whatever you need..."

Feelings - let alone truthful ones - were always awkward, but Miles couldn't regret it: he'd hit his mark, and Julian's eyes were briefly illuminated by a genuine smile.

"Thanks," he said quietly. "I won't make you continue."

Miles knew what was expected of him, and grinned. "Well thank goodness for that. If I'd've known we'd be talking feelings, I'd have sent Keiko down here instead."

Julian shook his head, scoffing lightly. "Come on, I'll walk you to the door." He started forward, briefly clasping Miles by the shoulder as he moved past.

"I'm being escorted out?"

"Well, I do have some work to do. As do you— oh, what's wrong now?"

"Nothing," Miles lied, "I'm coming, it's fine."

It wasn't fine. As he'd turned around to follow Julian, he had thought he'd noticed a hitch in Julian's stride - but he needed to watch more closely to be certain.

And a few steps later, when they'd reached the entrance of the infirmary, he was certain.

"Julian... are you limping?"

Julian rolled his eyes. "Goodbye, Miles," he said firmly, giving him a little nudge towards the exit as though he thought Miles could be that easily deterred.

"You were, weren't you?"

"Yes," said Julian. "But it's really none of your business why."

"But you weren't yesterd-"

"Miles," Julian interrupted - looking, to the engineer's surprise, more amused than anything else. "I'm pretty sure you don't want to know the details of what apology sex involved."

"You're saying he hurt you?"

"No more than I hurt him."

Miles could feel himself going red, could hear his heart starting to race. So Garak had, what? Convinced the doctor that their fight last night had been Julian's fault, that Julian had "hurt Garak's feelings" or something, and therefore that made it okay for Garak to demand—

He was going to be sick.

"I told you you wouldn't want to know," said Julian evenly. "Maybe next time, you'll listen."

Keep it cool, O'Brien, Miles thought desperately. At least get Keiko's opinion before you do anything you regret.

"I should go," he gritted out. "I'll see you later?"

"See you later," Julian replied, not acknowledging the question. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Anytime," Miles said fervently. "Seriously, Julian - any time. I mean it."

And before his emotions could get the better of him, he turned and all but fled, fists clenching as he strode down the promenade - not past the tailor's shop - and back up to the habitat ring, and to Keiko. It felt wrong leaving like that, but Julian would be safe enough in the infirmary - or should be, at any rate...

And it was up to them ot make sure he remained safe outside of it. Fuck. Garak.

Ah, thank you, yes, I have something to add about Jake Sisko's outfits, especially as he grew older in the series, and why it was actually really beautiful and meaningful in context of the time it was airing.

In they came, a waddle of blue-coated ducks, each holding a padd and a visible ego. The Vulcan woman leading them stepped to the side so the residents could fan out a half-circle around my bed. They lined up neatly, a choreography of habit.

“Ms. Delon,” she said, nodding a further hello. “Twenty-four years of age, presenting with unusual syncope and cold feet. She is a professional ballerina here through SFDCU, training for a performance of Andorian ballet. She is here because she briefly fell unconscious during a leap.”

The stocky one wasn’t quick enough to stop his scoff.  The Vulcan doctor used as little movement as possible to turn to him. “Dr. Jarman?” she asked. 

“Sorry,” he said, “but, we’re doing rounds for just a faint?” The others looked embarrassed. The tallest one, disdainful.

“Do you consider that beneath you?” Her demeanor indicated there was a right answer. 

His neck began to flush. “I – no, sir.”

“Then we shall continue. You may begin.”

I nearly laughed when they lifted their padds all at once; medicine’s en première.

The blonde went first. “Dehydration? Sleep deficiency?”

“No,” the Vulcan doctor said. “As is befitting an Andorian troupe, they are militaristic in the care of their dancers, Human and Andorian.”

“Normal sinus rhythm?” asked the Tellarite.

“Thus far,” she said.

“Any family history of fainting spells?” 

“None reported.”

“Vitamin deficiencies? Raynaud’s?”

“No.”

The tallest duckling looked right at me. “Which ballet?”

The room seemed to quiet. He was bright, ebullient. Gaze soft, but attentive, insisting. Welcoming. I felt... acknowledged. It caught me off-guard. They don’t talk to you in teaching hospitals, not usually. Certainly not about dance.

The surprise was a kind one, so I answered his question myself. “Grelthya,” I told him.

“The Spider!” he said, lighting up impossibly more. “I’ve even heard of it! Requires a high degree of technical skill and athleticism.”

I could not help my smirk. “So you see why I am here after ‘just a faint.’”

The Vulcan woman nodded at him. “Bashir.”

The tall man seemed delighted to step forward. “Hello, I’m Dr. Julian Bashir. Would you mind terribly if I took your pulse?”

“No,” I said, raising my hand. “You may.”

He smiled. “Allow me.”

My opinions might not be tolerated by everyone, they are welcome to ignore, mute or block me as they deem necessary, I will harbour no ill will either way.

Responding to content you don't like, by curating your own feed (by blocking etc) is normal and healthy, policing how the person making that content uses their own social media presence is not normal, and is in fact a dick move.

Still rude. Because they made it because they enjoy the character. If someone draws a picture about a character, or writes a fic about a character, or makes a gifset about a character, they are sharing it for those people who also enjoy it.

You have the right, of course, to comment and disagree, and that's something that any creator accepts could happen when they're posting in a public space. The point I'm making is that the community is a nicer place to exist in when people choose to treat fanworks with positivity, and leave the discussion and criticism for posts which aren't actively made for the purpose of loving a particular character/ship etc.

My opinions might not be tolerated by everyone, they are welcome to ignore, mute or block me as they deem necessary, I will harbour no ill will either way.

Responding to content you don't like, by curating your own feed (by blocking etc) is normal and healthy, policing how the person making that content uses their own social media presence is not normal, and is in fact a dick move.

there's a template email here you can use, it only takes a few minutes. sign the petition too.

The government is currently trying to change British Law so that "biological sex" is the definition of legal sex WITHOUT DEBATE OR VOTING. Even if your MP is NOT an ally, there is a template here that talks to them from an "is this democratic?" point of view that could still be persuasive if enough emails get written. PLEASE TRY.

(... This was going to end with "Cue Keiko dragging all three of them to bed each night and making them get a proper rest", but actually I don't want to put that on her...)

So, cue Keiko going to Sisko to ask him to sort it out and make sure his senior staff are looked after properly. He's kind of aware of it - it's not like he doesn't put in more hours than is reasonable, especially now Jake's moved out - but over the next few days he starts to get into the routine of hunting down the three of them to send to their quarters, and then going back to his own for the night. It's better for all of them.

Or at least, it seems to be, for a few days - maybe even just over a week - before they discover Julian's been sneaking back to his office to put in a few more hours of research and is getting just as little sleep as before.

And now Miles has had a week of proper sleep and remembered how good it actually feels to be well-rested, he and Keiko put in a team effort to start taking Julian back to theirs each night and making him sleep. (Since Kira's been with Odo, she only stays with them when Odo's regenerative cycle has got out-of-sync.)

It's... better for Julian. His nightmares are even more regular than Keiko and Miles', which is bad news for their newly-improved sleeping schedule... She mentions it to Nerys, who suggests Odo could put a tracker on him so he could go back to his own quarters. Keiko's not too sure about that one, but they were going to ask him to spend a few nights next week in his quarters anyway while Nerys came to stay, and when she tells Miles he laughs and thinks it's a great idea. So, they try it the following week, all fond banter and "wouldn't want you to ruin your progress the next few nights!" as Julian lets himself be fitted with the tracker.

Of course, once they're gone and he's suppposed to be sleeping, he removes it. And would have fooled them, too, if he hadn't been so euphoric about figuring out a seamless way to get around the tracker that he totally forgot about the people on the night shift who might physically see him and report him.

Odo drags him back to bed. It's not his proudest moment.

When Ben's told, he resigns himself to this being his problem again. After talking to Kasidy, he goes back to Julian and presents him with the option - no, the order, really - that if he's not going to sleep in his own quarters, he can go back with Sisko and stay in Jake's old room. Julian agrees a little too readily.

(He's not really got a handle on how he's feeling about all this. Embarassed that everyone's making such a fuss of it, warmed by all the attention, in some ways more relaxed since he's been sleeping with the O'Briens, but also more tense at the idea of being a burden on them, and not being 100% clear on what they are now? And still completely unable to unwind at the end of the day when he's on his own and desperately tired of all the fucking nightmares, and relieved that he won't be spending another night completely alone, but maybe Sisko won't hear him yell if he's in a different room...)

Ben wakes up in the middle of the night. Everything's still as he crosses the hallway to the refresher. As he walks back to his room, he remembers that, from how the O'Briens had been talking, he'd been expecting to be woken up by his visitor that night, but there's been no sign of the violent nightmares Julian apparently usually experienced.

An urge to check in on Julian, just as he used to look in on Jake, takes over him, and he changes course towards the other door. It slides open softly, giving gentle illumination to both the passageway, and Julian's sheepish expression as he looks up from the stack of padds surrounding him.

Ben sighs. He grabs a couple of the padds and places them on the desk, and Julian resignedly follows suit, uncharacteristically quiet—

Oh, that's not out of character, actually. It's the end of season six.

...Julian resignedly follows suit, in that quiet manner he's adopted over the past year. He becomes far more animate when Ben climbs into Jake's bed, awkward and fumbling and protesting, but Ben simply turns over and orders the lights off. Moments later, he feels the bed dip beside him, and a back bumping against his own. Good.

There is a nightmare - of course there is - but after waking them both up, Julian comes down from it pretty quickly. And, if he's being honest, Ben falls back to sleep as easy as ever with the warm weight of Julian in his arms.

It becomes a thing, after that. Him-and-Julian when Kasidy is away (she understood, the first time, when she found them curled up together - and she's pleased this whole thing has made Ben sleep better when she's not there - but she does like having Ben to herself on nights when she's back), Miles-and-Keiko-and-Julian when she's not. Worf quickly overrides Dax's playful motion that the two of them should join in and make it a proper game of pass-the-Julian. Nerys and Odo share a nervous look with each other, relaxing as they both give a minute, definite shake of their heads at the idea.

A month or so later, Miles and Keiko are settling down for the night when they suddenly remember that Julian should have been coming over that night. The computer says he's in his quarters: Miles volunteers to go and get him, but Keiko says she'll go, since he's supposed to have an early shift tomorrow, and if Julian's sneaking around the station again she'd rather be hunting him down and Miles start getting some rest.

But Julian is in his quarters. And he's not even surrounded by padds! He's curled up in his bed, sweetly asleep.

Jadzia's obviously like "Here for you, but let me check with Worf" - but then to everyone's surprise, Worf replied with. "No. I shall fake date Doctor Bashir. Your parents would not dare belittle the mate of a Klingon."

And that's that.

^^^ i spent all night and yesterday compiling information about a "phantom report bug", where people are getting emails from tumblr support about TOS reports they did not file. pjackk was banned off one of these phantom reports, i told tumblr support about it, and now he's unbanned. i think @garaks-padded-bra was also banned erroneously off a phantom report, so hopefully that will get reversed soon as well