Tumblr’s one true talent is making me sick of things I’ve never seen or read or heard.

Joker flavored Mountain Dew called Haha Blast

I hope when you descend to the lowest circle of hell, the ashes of your dearest loved ones staining your eyes red, that it will sting, and the pain will remind you of me before you are reduced to the nothingness of nonexistence.

Shrek flavored Sprite called Shite

If tumblr dies DM me for my full home address and we can have a barbecue

okayyy well i dont want to live in the techno-feudal dystopian panopticon. how about that!

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

i ❤ fact checking bold unsourced claims

hate when I rb a post that i think is just good but it turns out it's vaguing like fifteen other posts and now it looks like I've take a Stance even though I just woke up and haven't even been born yet truly

it should be illegal for things in drawers to accumulate dust. you were IN the drawer WHAT is your problem

can tumblr stop futzing around with pjackks corpse

its unsanitary

You're obsessed with his worthless pig iron corpse. It's like your Jungkook. Embarassing!

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

never met a sentence i couldn't make incredibly long