Your job is to crawl around on all fours through the aisles and scare all the customers

Everyone needs three hobbies: one to give you carpel tunnel, one to leave you sore and bruised, and one for your distant relatives to insist you monetize

yeah that’s a common mistake actually, a dusty periwinkle hanky means you like receiving butterfly kisses but that shade of morning mist means you wanna get killed with a pipe wrench

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

Have you ever considered that Sisyphus might've just been in for the love of the game? My bus driver hits the same curb every morning

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

always remember that fictional characters represent realistic and achievable goals

the unimaginable power of saying "huh, guess that's not for me" and moving on with your life

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

idk I can tell that some tumblrinas are not up on fat politics because I see a lot of people saying stuff like “it’s better to be a little fat than waste your life trying to be thin” or like “it’s chic to have a little belly” like okay but there are fat people who are “a lot fat” and have “a lot of belly” which everyone is weirdly silent on all the time. Like the fattest person on earth still deserves to exist in human society with joy and dignity regardless of how they got to that weight or how many health conditions they have as a result of their personal actions…that should be everyone’s baseline here I’m not really sure what’s complicated about it