Do you have any modern Norse head canon? Like if the gods were in a modern setting, what jobs would they have? What style/music taste would they have?
I just saw this! What a fun question! And you bet I have some ideas because when I hyper-fixate on Norse mythology, I go hard, baby.
An incomplete list of a few of the gods:
A politician or CEO of some sort--as long as the cash keeps flowing (legally or not). He doesnât want money for moneyâs sake, or for material things; he wants it so heâs afforded the luxury of privacy and anonymity when he desires it (and to fund major scientific research projects and universities--he has a soft spot for those and often spends hours in their libraries). A consummate conman, but he does have a heart...usually.
He's a charmer and incredibly charismatic. A "Forbes 500" sort of fellow. In reality, he cares more for the art of pulling the strings than for running a company itself. He'd much rather be wandering--he loves Westerns and cowboys, hence the country music peppered in (Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, old Appalachian ballads) among his classical playlists. An extroverted introvert--disappears on weekends into the mountains, and no one knows exactly what he's doing up there. They're all too afraid to ask.
A pro-wrestler. Has a devoted fanbase and writes all of his own lines for the matches. Heâs made a few forays into acting, usually playing lovable lunkheads, and heâs surprisingly good at it.Â
If it involves fitness and/or food, he's lifted it, punched it, or tasted it. Lives for beer festivals and looks up restaurants first whenever he visits a new place. Has a growing brood of big, boisterous dogs (and one pig--it's a "house pig," don't worry). Beloved by generally everybody who meets him, and perpetually the life of the party despite his occasionally quick temper. Goes hog-wild for monster truck rallies, hard rock, heavy metal, and "Life Is a Highway." Does not know what âuse your inside voiceâ means.
Ex-lawyer who founded a nonprofit that works to get wrongly incarcerated folks out of jail. Couldnât stomach being a prosecutor for too long--he found too much of it was all about image, publicity, headlines, rather than real justice. So he turned to grassroots efforts. His nonprofit does a few things: fights minor drug possession charges for the disenfranchised, works in prisons to rehabilitate rather than punish, and does outreach for kids whose parents are in jail.
Heâs grizzled and looks more like he should be chopping wood than going up against the courts, but he was never really one for a tailored suit, anyway. Plaid and old jeans and work boots.Â
Drives an old pickup even though he can afford something better, and has a big, husky bark of a laugh (especially when he settles down for some Scotch at the pub). Nickname is Captain Hook.
Founder of Valkyrie Self Defense--a wildly successful franchise of gyms and workout programs that focus on teaching women self-defense techniques. Sheâs been on the cover of Sports Illustrated twice but always scowls when journalists ask her why she didnât just go into modeling. Her shoulder muscles and biceps are almost as popular as her red carpet fashion. She speaks her mind always and regrets nothing, making her infinitely quotable and usually trending on Twitter.
Also hosts a popular self-empowerment and sex-positive podcast, and runs a cat rescue sanctuary. She currently has four cats--they have their own Instagram and merch, which always sells out.
The go-to doula and midwife. Runs a clinic for women and new mothers that also includes a childcare center. Usually wears her thick, silver hair in a braid that trails down to the middle of her back. Her clothes are earthy and floral and always, always the âflowy, art-teacher-you-really-liked-in-high-schoolâ type. Frequents the local farmerâs market every Saturday and knows how to brew a killer cup of tea.Â
Everyone knows sheâs only person alive who can bring Odin to heel, although sheâd rather stay out of the limelight he often enjoys.Â
Her eyes are pale blue, almost periwinkle, and sparkle when she smiles. Does a wicked Joni Mitchell impression, which makes sense, given how much she listens to Joni Mitchell. Everyoneâs mom, and brilliant--almost eerily so.
Wealthy, and expected to take up his fatherâs mantle, but would really rather not...heâs more like his mum in that way, although he has his fatherâs magnetic charisma. You want to hate him, because heâs just perfect--handsome, as in âmovie star handsome,â and everything he wears looks good on him (he favors a simple, white button-down, navy blue trousers, and boating shoes). You want to hate him, but you just canât--heâs the nicest guy in the world. He wears his wealth and privilege well, but seems a bit uncomfortable with it. Rather than hobnobbing with the elite, he spends most of his time in charitable pursuits, and rather than delegating the actual work to lackeys, he likes to get up to his elbows in it himself. It makes more sense that way, and itâs the right thing to do.
He loves cycling, and spends every spare minute he gets riding. Heâs browned from it, but the tan looks good on him, of course, and only turns up the wattage on his Colgate smile. Which you want to hate, you really do, but you canât, because heâs so genuinely interested in how youâre doing and if youâre well, and what you need, and how he can help.
Rocker and bar owner who partied hard in the 70s and even harder in the 80s. Her downtown bar became a hotspot for up-and-coming rock bands and even launched several major careers in the music industry. A practicing witch, she usually does readings after concerts.
She has no filter, and never does anything by halves. She loves and loathes and lives at full volume. She can drink Thor under the table, is covered in tattoos (some good, some embarrassing, and all consummately hers) and her voice sounds like a curl of smoke. She plays the bass and the drums like an absolute boss, still rocks a hair metal mane, and lives for her kids.
Her motherâs daughter through-and-through, although she takes herself a bit more seriously. She has her fatherâs green eyes and penchant for toeing the line. A writer who indulges her exhibitionist side as the lead vocalist for a Chelsea Wolfe-ish troupe of musicians and performance artists.Â
Proud goth, and definitely an introvert at heart. Her favorite place in the world is the old, threadbare, impossibly comfortable recliner next to the window overlooking the mountains in the family cabin. Sheâs working on her debut novel there, and prefers to write it all out by hand first, rather than typing it.Â
Jumped the gun when she was 21 and tattooed one half of her face in intricate knot work that resembles a skullâs. Professional eye-roller. Her phone lock screen is her parents, but sheâd never admit it.
Nurse practitioner and the walking embodiment of âpatience of a saint.â Itâs hard to feel upset or worried or stressed when sheâs around. She has a knack for helping her patients stay calm.
Sheâs small but her personality fills up the room. Exceptionally good at baking, but dislikes cooking meals that arenât dessert. (Her cinnamon bread is to die for, and people constantly tell her she should sell it, but sheâs fine giving it away for free).
The best âboy mom.â Not afraid to roughhouse with her twin, hellion 11-year-olds. Those boys are her life. Objectively, she has her hands full, since they inherited their fatherâs wild penchant for mischief, but they respect and love their mom too much to do any real harm.Â
Sheâs got a biting, wicked wit, always smells like floral perfume, and gives the best hugs, second only to Thor.
An itinerant performer--actor, guitar-strummer, fiddler, Renaissance (faire) man, juggler, fire-swallower, and only a thief sometimes. Has multiple viral tweets and TikToks to his name. If he ever chose to stay put, heâd probably hit it big in Hollywood, but heâd rather be running off to that elusive Somewhere Else. Lives out of his RV and travels cross-country picking up odd jobs here and there, and always makes sure to swing back home as much as he can to see the kids (the highlight of their year is summer road trips in the RV, and he makes sure to hit all the best hiking and fishing spots. His BBQs are legendary).Â
Go-to road trip tunes: the more raucous, the better. Also, Queen, always.
Occasionally, he has more money than he should, doing what he does, and no one is quite sure how or where he gets it. But the word is, he has some dirt on his old pal, Odin, and uses that to his advantage when he needs to. A little blackmail never hurt anyone.
Perpetual thrill-seeker: sky diving, bungee jumping, âyou havenât lived until youâve hiked Angelâs Landing while highâ sort of guy. Pierced and tatted and rangy and most likely the funniest person youâll ever meet, but sometimes, his smile is a bit too sharp, too like a knife. It makes you wonder if heâs hiding something dark or painful or worrisome under that easy, loud cackle.
Chews with his mouth open on purpose.
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