still dead

Just so you all know, my tumblr glitched egregiously so now every time someone reblogs this from me, tumblr takes me off of my dashboard or search results and forces me to see this post again

WHY DID SOMEONE ADD AN INCINERATOR ????

I STILL HAVE TO SEE THIS BTW. ITS BEEN YEARS.

being very fat means that sometimes you will encounter a chair that is so spindly, so fragile, so delicate. sometimes you will encounter a chair that is made of matchsticks and dreams. and has a seat the size of an ipad. a chair that resembles a newly born deer taking its first shaky steps. being very fat means that sometimes a thin person will offer this chair to you as a seat and not even think about it. meanwhile you, the fat person, if you listen very closely and with an open heart, can actually hear the chair whimpering and coughing like a sick victorian child. a thin person will offer this chair to you, a very fat person, and you have to look at them. and then the chair. and then your hips. and back at them. and be like. let's be real. can we please be real for a second. can we please use our spatial awareness right now. like it's okay we are allowed to use our spatial awareness when it comes to my ass. it's all good.

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like "and then the hero shoots the villain while they're looking around!! XD" THAT'S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT'S THE ENTIRE JOKE.

maybe... they DIDN'T miss part of the post...! (starts frantically looking around)

(i shoot you while youre looking around)

and then while i'm frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD

Omg you missed part of the post

did i? 😏

(frantically looks around)

(i raise my gun to shoot you while you're distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)

focusing on “should have”’s will kill you btw

one thing to learn from experience. completely different and useless thing to fixate on trying to mend the past and wondering what would have happened if you did something different a year ago. or five years. it is not a year (or five years) ago. it is Now. focus on that.

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function

oh so like "eh" in canadian

*un-Babels your Tower*

oh someone else has probably beaten me to saying this, and/or said it more snappily, but when the police inevitably start pushing a public narrative about an alleged shooter, let's NOT immediately buy into that narrative by assuming that person is in fact guilty, no matter how funny the memes are that imply that that person did it. and also let's not forget that luigi mangione is still in federal custody while the trump administration is seeking the literal death penalty, despite police having been accused by the defense team of planting evidence in his backpack. free luigi and don't do the same shit to any alleged charlie kirk shooter

me giving yousa the absolute best ass i can

i keep forgetting that your oc is yousa and definitely read this as jar jar trying his best to fuck

Just saying. In the same way that we look back at the death of nazis now and can easily and objectively say that that was a morally good thing to happen... in 50, 75, 100 years, the deaths of our current right wing fascists will be viewed that way.

'This will trigger backlash' besties they are already killing you??